BY STARMIST...DATE: End of 2nd Moon, NewGreens Season
Life seemed longer, the days forever. Life had left her cold. And moreover, alone. Starmist seemed to grow in the shadows, contrary to the paleness of her ivory skin and silvery blonde hair.
The meeting was growing slower and more dreary to her. Also, causing her more bitterness as she watched them all. They were all happy, if they had any unspoken sorrow of loss they showed none of it. They laughed. They joked merrily. Yet they could not see the knife that they twisted inside of her that had been thrust into her heart. Starmist's pale, crystal green eyes threatened to glaze over in tears.
Snowcloud and SilverSun looked at each other. The love that shone in their eyes caused a sob to lodge in Starmist's throat.
Rubbing her arms, Starmist tried to rid herself of the cold she felt inside. Her eyes strayed again to another pair, and then another. Then when she saw that even the cold-hearted son of her cousin could have love, Starmist left as fast as she could. The threat of tears was carried out then. The flood lasted even after she had come to her den. She fell to her furs in despair.
What made them so deserving of happiness? Of love? Why could they have this, when all she had ever given a damn about was ripped from her?
ShadowFrost. Starmist could still remember his embrace. His dark midnight eyes. The way they hunted and fought side by side.
How many seasons has it been since? A voice whispered inside her.
Starmist didn't answer.
Too long. He is gone, and you live. Yet you still sorrow and wish to die. And your sorrow is killing you slowly. Why do let this?
Starmist choked on a sob. It would be better to die. Then and only then could she be free. And join ShadowFrost, then she would be happy again.
Can you really say that? The voice asked slowly and softly.
Yes.
No.
No, but I must.
Why?
"BECAUSE I MUST!!" Starmist screamed in a voice she had not used since the death of ShadowFrost.
The caves echoed her words over and over. The mountain enveloped them, spreading them through its many caves and tunnels. All the elves heard. Still only the ones that had known her long ago, knew her voice.
Starmist reached for her twin ivory blades and held them tightly. Her light green eyes had gone dangerously dark.
"Misty?" someone called from the entrance of her den.
"Leave…. Me…ALONE!" Starmist screeched as she lunged out at nothing. Crazy with fear, hatred, and sorrow, Starmist rushed out in a mad run. She was crazed enough not to see anyone or anything. Whoever the elf had been, they were thrown aside effortlessly. Anyone else who was in the way received the same.
Although the voice was but a whisper she could not push it away or ignore it. The voice fought with her and pushed everything she fought back with aside. The cold wind ripped at her skin relentlessly as she ran into the snow.
You want to live.
No, I want to be with ShadowFrost.
You want to live; you want to love again.
No. No. No. I want to die. I want to be with ShadowFrost.
You know. You know. The voice chanted.
NO!!
It was never ShadowFrost. You know.
I LOVED ShadowFrost! I STILL love ShadowFrost!
Yes. You know. You know. You deny. Truth. You loved, but it was not meant to be.
NO! I won't listen!
Don't deny it. The voice asked softly.
Starmist, still crazed with her inner battle let a so loose as she lifted one cold blade to her throat.
Don't die, please. The voice pleaded. Live. Let life live. Please. As the voice wept sadly it shed the last of her.
odbye, my love." Starmist whispered to the frozen wind as she lowered her blade.
Starmist walked the tunnels. They seemed different and strange to her even though she had played in them as a cub. She couldn't find anyone.
Had they called another meeting without her?
Starmist walked on. Her steps were slightly unsteady as they began to thaw from the cold.The meeting room was solemn and quiet. As she entered the room they all eyed her warily. Starmist couldn't help but smile. They looked funny there looking somber.
Her smile faded.
"I am sorry." As she spoke the faces sat shocked at her words. "Forgive me."
Kave rose from the rest and walked to her.
”You spoke."
Starmist wrapped her arms around him as if it had been too many seasons gone from home. "Da."
Tears spilled then, as the old elfmaiden most knew had come back.
"Thank the High Ones." SnowCloud spoke up as she went to embrace her returned cousin.
"And just as I was getting used to the quiet." Kave grinned.
