It was about this time that Lori and Tracy noticed something streaking down from the sky in a rapid vertical motion. Tracy told me to take a shot with my long lens but as quick as I was moving back to where I could see it, it was disappearing behind the level of the stage and even he couldn't get a shot in time. That was the weirdest thing.
Anthony has lightened his hair and while he's as cute as ever, I like the way he wore it in the photo that was on his website.
Before we knew it, the show was over and then the hardest part set in. Realizing that this was the last show and for some of us the last one for a long time at this point, was almost too much to bare. As Lori said in her review her and some of the girls had already started crying and before Dennis even took the stage, he told us he'd gotten teary himself. When you're a true fan in every sense, you do whatever it takes to show your support. Take a plane, hop a train, drive a car, swim if you have to, learn html and build a website...whatever it takes...you do it regardless of the cost. You do it because that's how much you believe in them and their music and what you get back from them is priceless. A couple of weeks ago, I wrote Bob Kingsley of the American Country Countdown requesting "Ships of Heaven" be played. I was feeling a little down and missing my Mother who passed away 9 years ago. I told him how every time I hear that song, it reinforces that my Mother still watches over us, how she lived her life contently and didn't want us to cry when she was gone. I don't know if it was ever played on the Sunday morning program but even if it wasn't, just sitting down and writing what I wrote was therapeutic for me.
We returned to our stuff by the willow tree and a number of people had gathered at the merch booth. At one point Hank4 had ran up the hill to check with the guys because people were saying they were suppose to sign autographs. A short while later Dennis came over to us, then the guys came down to the merch booth to start signing.
I was in back of Kayla and Sam in line and I told them not to start crying because I would. Sure enough, they started and then I started. I've always thought I'd be good at acting because I can go from a range of emotions at the drop of a dime AND I can cry on cue. I guess I wouldn't make a good actress afterall because I couldn't turn it off. When I got to Henry who was first, I coudn't even say a word. I just handed him my Gloryland t-shirt to sign and he seemed a little taken by my actions. I had intended to put it up for auction if there is to be another but before I knew it, he personalized it. I then gave him a hug and thanked him for 4 wonderful days (I hate goodbyes because I'm better at hello), then Dave and then Anthony and Lori was ready to take my photo with guys as I had run out of film.
I shot 14 rolls out there and even though 8 were 12 exposure rolls (thanks Lori!), my camera fell in love all over again. I'm not sure if it was here that Lori told me to smile or on the bus but when the group photo was taken, I was the only one still crying. It was THE hardest saying goodbye this time. If you read the message boards at BlackHawk's website, you saw where I mentioned having been given some signs that moved me to purchase 4 tickets to the dinner/auction and to donate them. Lori, I love you Tracy and the kids and you be sure and take care of what you need to, okay? Because, afterall, none of us knows when the last time will be the last time. I think what made this the hardest time to say goodbye was because we got to see a little more of what makes them them. They ARE a drug and while I've been around the block more times than I care to mention and have tried a lot of things, this is no ordinary drug not by any means. They're the strongest addiction anyone could ever have and the thing about it is, the only way to treat it is to see them again. There isn't any other form of treatment that can help. For a while there seeing Garth (who afterall is...), Keith (who is SO sweet), Trace (who is a tall drink of water) helped some but it was a taste in between fixes. The real high awaited in getting to see these guys again!
We said our goodbyes to Kayla, Sam and Denise and Dave and Jenn...making them promise to call Lori and Tracy when they arrived safely.
Lori, Taylor and I made our way back to the 'Trace' mobile where one of the female security guards who realized our passes didn't permit us backstage but gave in after we stressed the fact that we had been with the guys the last 4 days and if she only looked over the hill she'd see our stuff, reluctantly let us back to our stuff had come over to apologize. Don't know how she knew we were telling the truth but she knew and she apologized several times. We were joined shortly by Dennis who is truly a wonderful person and then Tracy and Tyler.
On the ride home, we began to relive the 4 days and spoke of Van and the guys in the early years. Lori told of the day Henry told her Van was dying and she began to cry. I thought the love in her heart for this man must have been enormous and I knew I was truly among some really wonderful people. It also made me wish even more that I could have known him. Over the last nine years since I first started listening to country music, I have met a ton of artists and while some of them hold a special place in my heart because of their music and their appreciation for the fans, these guys each and everyone of them both past and present occupy the largest part because not only are they the finest musicians out there today but they have that certain indescribable unsurpassed love. That is THE best feeling in the world! While I've tried in a lot of words to describe what happened out there, what really happened is this. A bunch of BlackHawk fans came together for 4 days of in some cases sacrifice to express our love for the best of the best. We sang, we laughed, we cried, we got to know each other and the guys gave everything they had. For 4 days, it was all about BlackHawk...no problems, no worries, no everyday life. It was like we were on another planet and as I sat on that plane...flight 156 staring out the window, I know now what I was looking for. I didn't mention this to anyone out there for fear of being considered crazy but Van was there...the 4 days in WI Van was there...every town, every show. There were times when I was rather quiet because it was when I felt it the strongest and I've never had that feeling before. Believe it or not, Van was there.
It's really never goodbye...
Buck wants a goodbye hug. "Jersey girls and guys are cool and he's the coolest sound guy I know!"
