Dementia: Memorials, page 2

I have chosen to play the midi " Amazing Grace " for this page because it was my mother's favorite hymn. It will always have special meaning for me.

To add a memorial, send an email with all the info you want included here: Dementia@rochester.rr.com
Please be sure to type "Dementia" in the subject line so I don't delete it !

"Knock, knock -- Hello - Vera, is anyone there?" [This was said while gesturing a knocking on the head.] That was Nanny's joke, a way of her telling us that her memories were fading. Over the past ten years we have slowly and sorrowfully watched Nanny leave us. This kind, gentle, and quiet woman, who, in the ways she lived her life, has given us so many examples of goodness, hand work, devotion, and love. When I think of Nanny what I always feel is "rays of sunshine" from a woman who lived her life among many thunderstorms. For all of us she always managed to smile, to have words of encouragement and praise. She looked at her children, her grandchildren, and her great grandchildren as the people who lit up her life, as she did ours. She was extraordinarily good and caring; she was a nurturer. As we all went to Florida to relax, to vacation, to heal, or to even escape, there was Nanny every morning with fresh squeezed orange juice and a hot cooked breakfast. Then leaving with memories of days of pleasure, quiet words of wisdom, and, of course, a suitcase full of fresh, clean laundry. How hard she always worked, taking care of her home, harvesting grandpa's huge gardens, and canning enough food for a small Italian army. She knit and crocheted hats and scarves for anyone who would take them. You didn't have the heart to tell her that you didn't need a 12-foot scarf. She didn't want to waste the yarn. She taught us that you can sew curtains and they can come from table cloths or someone's old slipcovers. You can make do! Every day at 3:00 she would start grandpa's dinner, even though we secretly thought that he should have been sent to a restaurant. That's perseverance. Work was good; accomplishments made you feel useful! You could never leave a basket of laundry near Nanny; she folded, packed, and organized everything. Whether you were moving, having a baby, or needed some company, or having a garage sale, she came. How easy it was for her to give of herself. That's devotion. Family was her only priority. We were number 1 in her heart. She loved us all, cared about how our lives were going. She always asked, she always wrote when she was far, and she always told you, "I love you." It was easy to care for her when she got older, because she was always so good to all of us. We all knew she hated it, remembering how independent she once was. We did it because that is what she taught us to do. You all know these stories and many more, which you have in your hearts now and will come to you, when you need them. You need to know this; in her love and because of her love, we are beautiful.

Grandma, thank you for being my angel on Earth and from Above! As your granddaughter, I was very proud of you. I enjoyed bringing my friends over to your house to meet you and show them your dolls that you handmade. You had the sweetest and biggest smile on your face, like an angel. I loved that proud smile! After you were well into the stages of Alzheimers and I was married, I would come visit you. You didn't know me as your "Granddaughter", instead you would say, "Look my dear Friend came to visit me!" And as I looked at you, I saw the sweetest and biggest smile on your face, like an angel. I loved that friendly smile! After you passed away and my husband and I began the path of Infertility Treatments and then later the path of Adoption, I would pray to you. It was hard to see you as clearly, but I knew you were listening and had the sweetest and biggest smile on your face, as an angel. I loved that hopeful smile! Five years after you passed and my husband and I were nearing exhaustion from every path we tried, I continued to pray to you. Our hearts lifted as we looked into the newborn face of our adopted son and found out I was to give birth in 8 months. Double Blessings!! I saw the sweetest and biggest smile on your face, as an angel. I loved that loving smile! And now I look into the faces of two adorable boys and I see the two sweetest and bigget smiles on their faces, like angels. I love those blessed smiles!! My boys are gifts from God, but those smiles are your added touch as if they were "handmade"!! Thank You!!

She, too, had dementia. Started many years before her passing; first she had a stroke then many little strokes. All of this leading to the killing off of brain cells, causing the dementia. Took care of her here at home till it was impossible to leave her alone at all. Had to make the very hard decision to put her in a nursing home. She was there for several years, finally her heart just gave out. It was a very hard time for me, both during and after the illness. To see someone you love and admire just become someone that you don't know, is heart breaking. Thank you for this page, I put it in my fav.s so that I can reflect back from time to time.

Time to Let Go The pain that she endured Seemed more than we could bare. We sat beside her...tried to reassure And ran our fingers through her hair. Her eyes reflected total confusion As her mind sifted through memories of old. For her thoughts seemed only an illusion While recent memories she could not hold. The love she had...she could no longer say Though we knew it was there..deep inside. As the terrible disease was taking her away This we knew as we sat by her side. We prayed to our Lord during the last long mile For His answer to us...He would show. "Should we hold to her,Lord,just for awhile? Or should we let her go?" With fragmented thoughts filtering through Of things only He could understand... And promises from Him for a body anew.... We reluctantly...gave Him her hand. Now with eyes and mind crystal clear She is happy...this we know. "Thank you," she says, "my daughters,dear." "Thank you......For Letting Me Go." Poem written by: JoAnn In Memory of our precious Mother who suffered from Alzheimer's

My gosh, I know how you feel and how painful it is to watch your mother fade away with that terrible disease, I just lost my mother in August of 98, she had Alzheimer's, she was diagnosed in 92, it will be 1 year next month that she died, the hardest time of my life has been since 93 when she really started showing all the signs of the disease, and I had to watch it slowly take her away from me, she was not only my mother............she was my best friend, I miss her so very much. I found this poem in an Alzheimer's news letter. It was just so perfect that I saved it and am sending it to you, maybe you would like to share it with others on your page.

"TWO MOTHERS"

I had two mothers...
Two mothers I claim
Two different people
Yet with the same name.

Two separate women
Diverse by design
But I loved them both
Because they were both mine.

The first was the mother
Who carried me here
Gave birth and nurtured
And launched my career.

She was the one
Whose features I bear
Complete with the facial Expression I wear.

She gave me some music
Which follows me yet
Along with examples
In life that she set.

Then as I got older
She some younger grew
And we'd laugh as just mothers
And daughters can do.

But then came the year
That her mind clouded so
And I sensed that the mother
I'd known soon would go.

So quickly she changed
And turned into the other
A stranger who dressed
In the clothes of my mother.

Oh, she looked the same
At least at arm's length
But she was the child now
And I was her strength.

We'd come full circle
We women of three,
My mother the first,
The second, and me.

And if my own children
Should come to a day
When a new mother comes
And the old goes away.
I'd ask of them nothing
That I didn't do,
Love both of your mothers
As both have loved you.
By Anonymous

My daddy was such a good man. This terrible illness made him seem so unnatural. It seemed as though at times, I could see the real "him" trying to force his way through the shadows of dementia to let everyone know that "he" was still in there, trapped, unable to escape. It could be seen through the mirrors of the soul, that special glisten, or just a glint of happiness, a smile or a "gentle" squeezing of my hand. I was upset with him a lot of times over the moods this disease put him in and I'd like to take this opportunity to just let him know .... " I love you, Daddy.

My Grandmother, suffered with dementia she lived the last 10 years of her life in a nursing home. She was a remarkable woman, she was filled with love for her family, MoMo or Jenny Belle as she was sometimes called, loved life she never let anything get past her. She embraced the old but was always ready to accept changes. MoMo loved people and everyone felt the same about her. She was the first woman mayor of our town she took over the job after her husband passed away. If asked why she did something she would answer that it had to be done. She gave 100% of herself in everything she did, there was a favorite saying of hers, if you said something smart she would say you ought to be in Washington. I guess she didn't think much of our politicians up there. MoMo loved God and practiced her faith through her actions, she prayed with us, rejoiced with us, and wept with us. In the end she couldn't say our names but the look in her eyes knew she recognized us. She was a role model for all of us. We rejoice in her death as we did in life she is no longer suffering, and as she looks down on from heaven I hope she sees her influence in our lives. I love you and miss you.

Hugh Franklin Findley was a wonderful daddy. He left behind his wife (Margaret/Mom) seven children, 16 grandchildren and numerous great-grand children. He was well loved and he is deeply missed. I (his youngest daughter) was his care giver from 1984 until his death in 1988. I watched the daddy I'd always known become a helpless infant, and, my memories of who is was and how he was are marred now by that. I envy my sisters and brothers their memories of him before the dementia took over his personality. > I am a poet. However, I've not been able to write a tribute to either my daddy or to my mom (who passed away one year ago). I'm still too overcome with grief.

My father had a sever stroke in 1988 on his 70th birthday, he was a very strong and active person, loved by all who meet him. It tore all of us apart to see this man go from a very dedicated husband ,father, grandfather, and great grandfather who loved us all to a person who couldn't ever remember our names. I took care of him at home for eight years ,until i no-longer could handle him. It broke my heart to have to place him in a nursing home .After that he just seemed to worsen, He passed away very quietly with my mom at his side. At his funeral she said to me " I don't want to spend a Christmas without him" We'll she didn't She went to be with him just two months and twelve days later. My heart is broken, I'd give anything to have just one more hour with them both. But at least I know that they are "Together Again"

My father Alonzo Johnson had Alzheimer's. He was always a very strong man, he was a green beret soldier. He was called go go Johnson because he never sat still. he remarried 7 years after my mother passed away. he didn't have Alzheimer's when he remarried. It started about 3yrs later. She would let him take off driving by himself. once the police picked him up going north in the south bound lanes of 65.the police called his wife to come and get him ,she wouldn't so she called my sister to go get him. My sister then found out he had been gone for 13 hrs and his wife never notified anyone. Then it happened again he took off was gone for 23 hrs my sister heard from one of the senior citizens he new that he was missing my sister called the police to put out a APB for him .they found him in Mississippi wondering around because he had wreck the truck. we asked her why she didn't let any of us know about this and she said if he wants to go he can. Now he's dead because he took off walking by himself and fell. She didn't call any of his children to let us know until it was too late to say good bye. The Drs said they' d never seen such a cold hearted woman. They called her four times to try and get permission to do surgery on him because of internal bleeding she wouldn't come and give permission so he bleed to death. the moral to this story is if you don't think your loved one is being taken care of properly take action immediately. we found out to late we could of gotten guardianship of him and if he died he wouldn't of been alone. I know how hard it to be a care giver. i cared for my mother in law, my father in law and a friend and I've learned if you can't do it with love get out ,find someone else to care for them. There is no law about neglecting persons with Alzheimer's, but there sure should be. thank you and i praise you for taking care of your loved one.

To add a memorial, send an email with all the info you want included here: Dementia@rochester.rr.com
Please be sure to type "Dementia" in the subject line so I don't delete it !

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