Chapter 5

"Nick's mother said what?" Lou exclaimed crossing his sagging arms as he paced around our hotel room.

"She doesn't want Nick travelling in this weather with brouchitis and would like him to stay here an extra couple of days. And would like me to be with him." I gritted my teeth. "I don't know why I'm repeating this to you, Lou. Mrs.Carter contacted you herself with the same information."

"Well, what if I don't want to agree?" Lou spat.

My eyes narrowed. "Don't get shitty with me. You don't have a choice. It's written up legally. You accepted responsiblity to Nick's financial aid."

"However, I do not have to flip the bill to personally keep you two here. This can come out of your pocket, Richardson."

"Fine! Although, I already flipped the damn bill to get him some medicine which broke my wallet."

"Then, you're in one hell of a bind aren't you, boy?"

Howie sighed growing tired of listening to the bickering. He tossed a glance at Nick who had been trying to sleep. "Could you two take this somewhere else? Nick's sick enough as it is, he shouldn't have to hear this."

I locked eyes with Lou. "Why don't you just pay at the desk for the next two nights and be on your way?"

"I'm not positive I can do that."

I lowered my voice. "I suggest you come up with something or Nick's mother  may not be 'positive' she wants Nick in this group. We're not under contract yet. If he leaves, where does that leave you?"

Lou fought the urge to scream, or perhaps the urge to punch me in the jaw. "I'm paying for the next two days, you better be out of here by then! And that's the last of my money you're getting."

"Lou?" Brian meakly whispered.

Lou sighed. "Yes, Littrell?"

"Um, my cousin spent his last dollar trying to make Nick well. He'll....um....need gas money to take us back to Florida in a few days. And money for food."

"ARGH!" the heavy man groaned pulling out his billfold.

AJ looked up from the television that he had been glued to. "Gheesh, Lou, for a guy that said Nick and I couldn't bring our mothers, and needed Kevin and Howie to drive to lightened spending and we couldn't stay in more than one room at the hotel. You certainly have a lot of dough to spend around, don't you?" the fifteen-year-old sneered.

Maybe I could learn to like the fifteen-year-old afterall.......

Lou walked to the door. "Well, I'm leaving in fifteen minutes. You boys, with the exception of Kevin and Nick, decide whether you're staying or going."

"Bastard," AJ hissed as Pearlman shut the door behind him.

Howie sighed. "That went anyway but smoothly."

"Think it's too late to get another manager?" Brian joked.

"If only we could be so lucky," I replied.

"It confuses me. Lou's not really that bad a guy. I don't know why he's being such a tryant about this," Howie said as he studied his textbook.

"People can be deceiving," I commented.

AJ groaned. "I just think he's a fatass liar."

Some people like to be blunt.

Brian stood walking to the door. "I need a soda. I think I saw a machine in the hall. Anyone wanna' come with me?"

AJ nodded. "Sure, I need to get out here for a few minutes after Lou's ranting."

I glanced at Howie who had set aside his text to tend to Nick, checking his forehead and pulling the blanket closer to his chin. "Just relax and ignore Lou."

"But I made everyone get upset," Nick whimpered.

"No," Howie soothed. "It's not your fault, you're just sick and confused right now. Just rest, okay?"

Nick yawned. "Okay."

I whispered as not to disturb the youngest singer. "How do you do it?"

"Do what?" Howie asked returning to his text.

"Get along with all the guys so well." I laughed. "You're always the nice guy?"

He shrugged. "Well, I am a nice guy from what I'm told."

"You are. When I was nineteen I could never take care of him like you do."

"But you did take care of him, Kev. You made damn sure he got help."

I shook my head. "There's a difference. I make sure Nick has everything he needs. You actually take care of him. You and Brian are there for him."

"Well, he's only thirteen, Kev."

I glanced at his book. "What are you working on?"

"Oh just stuff for college. Luckily, I'll be through in a few months and have that damn associate arts degree."

"You don't seem very excited about it," I observed.

"I'm not," he admitted. "I wanted to drop college as soon as the group got into full swing. But...."

"But?"

"My parents wouldn't have it. My dad especially. They wanted to make sure I had a college education."

"I can't blame them. Especially, for you to be so smart. Hell, I didn't make grades like you did in high school."

"I appreciate the compliement, but it's really hard to work toward a degree and do this. Now, I know how Brian, AJ and Nick feel doing their schoolwork amongst all this chaos. Sometimes, I wish I could just be free to work just on the group alone, 'ya know?"

"I know. Um, Howie?"

"Yeah?"

"How's your family?"

"Why do you ask?"

"Oh, just making conversation," I lied.

He stared at the floor. "By 'my family' you mean Caroline, right?"

I nodded. "We don't have to talk about it."

"No," he answered, "it's okay. I don't mind. Actually, she's doing pretty well right now-considering."

I locked eyes with him. My speech became slurred. "What is lopous?"

"Lupus," he corrected.

My lip began to quiver. "Will she be okay? I mean, is it like-like" I couldn't say anymore.

"There isn't a cure right now," he whispered.

I fought back my tears in the remembrance of my father. "I'm so sorry."

He rested his hand on my back. "Are you okay?"

"I-I just don't want you to go through what I went through."

"It's not exactly the same. I mean, I live with the reality that Caroline may go before I do, but it will not be as quickly as your father. But I can't help being terrified, 'ya know? I mean, this is chronic and there's no cure. It's a scary situation to be in."

I knew the feeling well. "Is there anything I can do to help you?"

He sighed. "How about introducing me to a beautiful girl like Kristin? Then, when I get caught up in all the hype and my problems I'd have to her to go and get lost in a great pair of eyes, well, or legs in your case."

I smiled. "You want a nice girl go to the general store beside McDonalds."

Howie raised an eyebrow. "They sell dates at department stores now?"

I chuckled. "No, Cricket works there."

"Cricket?" he repeated. "You want to hook me up with an insect?"

"No, she's this really sweet girl I met when I was getting Nick some medicine. She really opened my eyes. It wasn't like a romantic thing, just being near her made me realize I could be a better person."

He smiled. "I'm glad people like that exist."

"Me too. You're one of them, D, you made AJ a better person even if you didn't know it." I took a deep breath. "I'm glad you're my friend."

"I'm glad I have a friend like you too, Kev. I get a free show everytime you tear into Lou, it's so entertaining you could sell tickets and live off the profits comfortably for the rest of your life."

"Ta da we've reappeared!" AJ announced as he and Brian returned sodas in hand.

"We miss anything?" Brian asked taking a seat beside him.

Howie and I exchanged glances. "Oh, nothing much."

Howie returned his vision to his textbook. "AJ, are you wanting to stay in New York an extra couple of days?"

AJ's expression fell. It was apparent he wanted to go home. He drummed his fingers against the sides of his soda can. "Um...I dunno. What do you want to do?"

"It's your decision. I just thought you might be missing your mama, that's all."

"Ha, 'missing my mama'," AJ scoffed. "I'm perfectly capable of going a few days without seeing my mother."

"I was only suggesting it," Howie replied as he finished his assignment.

I cleared my throat. "Ya' know, AJ, I know you can go a long period of time without seeing your mother and be just fine; but maybe your mother and grandparents miss you. Maybe you should go back for them and I'm sure it would help Howie catch up in all his college courses to be back in Florida."

AJ shrugged. "I guess you have a point. I mean I wouldn't want Howie to fall behind in his schoolwork."

I fought the urge to smile. "Well, that's very considerate of you, Alex. Wouldn't you say, Howie?"

"I agree. AJ and I will be heading back to Florida within the hour then."

"AJ, why don't you call your mother, just to let her know you're going to be back soon," I suggested.

He nodded lifting the telephone into his hands. "Okay."

"Are you three going to be okay up here alone?" Howie wondered.

Brian sipped his beverage. "We should be fine. Kev got all the fiancial stuff taken care of and Nick went to the doctor."

"Maybe you'll get to meet the Wrights or whoever the new management team is that Lou is looking into," I mentioned recalling the name.

Howie chuckled. "Yeah, I'll try to be a hard core business man and not let them pull any punches and keep Lou in check."

The idea of Howie, the group member nicknamed 'Sweet D' for his gentle ways, being hard core was hysterical within itself. I raised an eyebrow. "You're going to be defensive, D?"

He smiled. "On second thought, maybe I'll just take notes and pass them along to you when you get back in Florida."

Now, that Howie and I had finished our conversation the only noise in the small room was AJ's telephone chat.

"Yes, Mom, Howie will drive me back safely and I'll be home soon," AJ moaned as he continued his conversation. "Yes, I love you, too. BUT MOOOOOOOM!" he whined. "I can't say that infront of the guys! I'll look like a pansy! But- but- but- FINE!" He covered his face which had turned a deep crimson as he whispered. "I love you, Mama Bear, I'll see you soon." The teen hung up the phone quickly continuing to hide his face.

"Mama Bear?" Brian mocked. "Aw, let me guess are you Baby Bear?"

AJ crossed his arms as he snarled. "I don't want to talk about it!"

**************************

Two hours had now passed and Howie, AJ and Lou were making their way back to Florida. Leaving Brian and I watching a rerun of Matlock as Nick continued napping.

"Lou could have at least gotten us a hotel with cable," Brian complained we watched the old man pacing the court room floor.

I sighed. "Lou could give us a lot more than he does."

"This show sucks."

I had been unable to watch one show in its's entirity with Brian present. He could barely watch ten minutes of a program without becoming bored. Although, he managed to watch hours of the Looney Tunes marathon contently. Sometimes, realizing my cousin is an older version of Nick is frightening.

"Watch whatever you want," I commented as I began searching through my suitcase.

Brian had settled on an old western movie as I pulled my novel out of the suitcase.

"What 'ya readin?" he asked.

I glanced at the cover. "One Alone."

"Any good?"

"It's different," I stated. That sounded better that saying 'it's the most depressing thing I've read in my life.' Even though, I knew the piece was depressing and dark I always ended up going back to read more.

'I was just a stranger on the street. One of many faces. Yet, I honestly belived there was something about me that stood out. I was different than an average face in the crowd. How was I different? Everyone else seemed it a rush to go somewhere. They had somewhere to go, somewhere they were needed. I didn't know where I belonged.'

"Where are Howie and AJ?" a small voice yawned.

I glanced up from my book to see Nick had woken up from his nap. "They're on their way back to Florida."

"Oh," Nick whispered. Reading his expression I'd assume he would have given anything to have been in the vechile with them getting closer and closer to his family with each mile they passed.

"I'm glad you're awake, buddy!" Brian exclaimed hopping off the bed. "I was getting really bored and needed some company!"

Nick rubbed the sleep from his eyes. "You had Kevin to keep you company."

My cousin chuckled as he pulled a small paper sack out of his suitcase. "Like I said, I was bored."

"What's that?" Nick asked pointing to the sack.

"It's a present I got you," Brian explained handing it to him. "I promised to get you something when I went out with Howie and AJ, but with all the chaos that happened recently I never got around to giving it to 'ya."

"Cool!" Nick beamed as he pulled the game out the bag.

I squinted. "What is it?"

"Travel size Hotshot Basketball," Nick explained.

Brian shrugged. "Nick can't play his video games while we're travelling like this and I can't play basketball, maybe it'll keep us from getting so bored."

"I'm all for anything that keeps you two from getting bored," I smirked.

"You wanna' play?" Nick asked opening the game.

I shook my head. "No, you two go ahead. How you feelin', kid?"

He shrugged. "Still kinda' sick."

"Any better at all?"

He sniffled. "A little more rested."

"That's good."

Brian rubbed his stomach. "Hey, Kev, when we gonna' eat again?"

I glanced at my watch. "Didn't you just have a burger a few hours ago?"

He shrugged. "I'm hungry again."

I sighed setting my novel down on the cot. "Okay, I'll come up with something. Besides, Nick will need to eat again soon to take his medicine. And it's not like Lou couldn't spare the extra change."

Nick cringed. "I hate taking pills."

Brian fought to put together the small basketball game. "At least by taking them you'll feel better."

I stood grabbing my coat glancing at Nick's lightweight jacket. "I'll go to the general store I found the other day and get some food, considering we're going to be here the next two days. And I really don't want to be fighting the crowded streets every few hours to get food from McDonalds. You guys want some more soft drinks?"

The soft drinks I had bought for Nick had quickly disappeared once Brian and AJ found them in the cooler the night before.

Nick lifted his head. "I'd like some more of the drink you got me if that's okay."

I nodded unlocking the door. "Sure thing." I faced my cousin. "Now, Brian, I do not want you to open this door to anyone. And-"

"And do not leave this hotel room," Nick mumbled finishing my sentence for me.

Brian raised his hand tossing me the boy scout symbol. "I pledge on my honor as a boy scout, I will protect Nick and not allow anyone in the room."

I rolled my eyes. "Some boy scout you were, you broke your damn thumb with the hammer."

He shrugged. "So, I sucked at technique, but I totally had that 'honor thing' down pat."

I opened the door. "Whatever you say, cuz. I'll be back in a few. You two keep safe."

I walked through the cold narrow hallways toward the door leading myself into crowded streets. I shivered as I pushed the door opened the cold air hitting me suddenly. I shoved my bare hands into my pockets preparing to use my football training once again, if necessary, to return to the small store.

I hurried across the street people honking their horns and cussing each other out with each step I took. Even when drivers stopped to let pedestrians walk when the damn flashing sign tells you they have the right way in this place you get bitched at. I passed the recongizable McDonalds chain to make my way into the hidden location. I smiled reading the tiny sign hanging on the door 'Casey's General Needs.' I stepped inside listening to the bell above door ring as I made my entrance. I glanced through the aisles trying to remember where I had found the soda. Hopefully they would have food of some sort near that location. I found a shopping cart and ventured toward my destination.

I scanned the food aisle glancing at the various items. My choices were limited as they only carried non-parishable food items of generic brands.  I grabbed a twelve pack of lemon lime and orange soft drink along with some chips and a loaf of bread. And against my better judgement an assorted mixture bag of candy. As if those two weren't hyper enough already...But maybe it would cheer them up. I reached onto the shelf grabbing a jar of peanut butter as a soft voice greeted me. "Back again so soon?"

I smiled facing the employee. "Hi, Cricket. How are you?"

She tossed her long auburn braid over her shoulder. "I'm all right. You?"

"I'm okay."

She glanced at my cart. "Looks like you had an easier time finding items on your own this time around."

I laughed. "Yeah, any guy can find food. We think with our stomachs instead of minds at times."

"Among other things," Cricket added grinning. "You want me to help you check out?"

"Actually, I wanted to look for one more thing. Do you have any winter coats? One of the band members needs a new coat. He has a lightweight jacket that's suited for Florida, but for all the travelling we'll be doing he'll need something much warmer."

"You're in luck, we just got a shipment in the morning. It's a small selection but maybe you'll find something suitable."

I followed her small slender form as she made her way to the back. "Here we are!" she announced pointing at the small rack of coats. "All we have are these fleece jackets but they're pretty warm. If you can survive a New York winter in them they should be suitable about anywhere in the U.S, with the exception of Alaska."

I lifted one of the items into my hand. The fleece material was thick and warm. I looked up at her. "Um, what size would you think a thirteen-year-old boy would need?"

"Well," she hummed reading the shirt tags. "These are sizes in mens' and according to the chart a small would fit men from 120 to 145 pounds. Would that work?"

I nodded. "That should be just fine, thank you."

"What color?" she asked.

I shrugged. What did color matter? Coats are suppose to be practical wear not a fashion statement. "Uh, what color do you like?"

She smiled. "Well, being an Irish girl I'm very fond of green," Cricket stated handing me the hunter green coat.

"Works for me," I decided dropping the item into the cart.

"How's your career been going?" the redhead asked guiding me toward the register.

"Okay, I guess. I'm stuck in New York for another two days. So, I've just been reading to pass the time.."

She rang up my purchases. "Good book?"

"It's different," I replied using my previous answer.

Cricket chuckled as she scanned the green coat. "You're reading a book that you don't even enjoy? You make it sound like an assignment."

"There's really nothing else to do. Nick is either sleeping or playing Hotshot and my cousin insists on repeatively changing the television channel when he's not occupied with Nick."

"Why don't you play with them?"

"Not my thing."

"Then, why don't you ask them to watch television with you?"

"You don't understand, they don't need me."

She lifted the jacket to my eyes. "It looks like you're mistaken, maybe someone does need you."

I shrugged. "Maybe."

Cricket flashed me a small grin. "You're putting way too much thought into your situation. If someone doesn't need you, why do you go out into the cold crowded streets for food and clothing?"

"He needed them."

"And in order to get them, he needed you. You were the key element."

I nodded. "I guess so."

"$15.95," she stated glancing at the price total.

"Here," I said handing her a twenty-dollar bill. "Keep the change for yourself."

"No, thank you," Cricket responded placing the change in my palm.

"I want you to have it," I repeated. "I owe you for the stuffed dog."

She shook her head her auburn braid swaying back and forth. "No, you don't. You don't owe me anything, I wanted you to have it. Obviously, you wanted someone important to have it."

I shoved the change back into my pocket. "That's sweet of you."

She shrugged. "No big deal."

I glanced out the small window of the store into the street as I lifted the bags into my hands. "Aw, man!" I complained.

"What?" she asked lightly.

"It's snowing!" I ranted.

A smile graced her lips. "It's beautiful, isn't it?"

"What?" I griped. "Beautiful? It's wet, sticky, white clumps that will make the roads slick causing me to fall on my ass."

Her emerald green eyes watched each snowflake falling from the sky landing on the surface. "Maybe you should look at it as a white blanket. Covering the earth causing everyone to look at the world in a different light."

I stared at her.

She blushed. "What are you looking at?"

I turned toward the door resting my fingertips on the handle. "Cricket?" I whispered.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

She chuckled. "For what?"

I smiled looking at her unique beauty. "Thank you for just being you. And having the eyes to see beyond the surface."

Stepping into the cold air feeling each snowflake fall against my skin, I smiled. It was a beautiful new light I was looking at.

********************************

"Brrrr...." I moaned as I stepped inside the warm hotel room.

Brian took the soft drinks from my hands squinting. "It's snowing!" he exclaimed.

I nodded. "Yep."

My cousin set the drinks aside rushing to the window. "It really is snowing! Hey, Nick, come look!"

Nick joined Brian at the window grinning. "Let's go outside, Brian!"

"Absolutely not," I dictated. "I'm not sending you out into the snow with bronchitis, Nick, your mother would have my head!"

He coughed. "She wouldn't have to know."

I lowered my brow. "No, Nick."

"Fine," the blonde whined laying back down.

I tossed Brian a glance as I unloaded the shopping bags. "Brian, are you ever going to come away from that window? You look like your face is frozen to the glass."

"I can't help it, Kev!" he beamed. "It's kinda' like bein' home in Kentucky. Remember?"

I joined him at the window ruffling his hair. "Yeah, I remember. It's beautiful, huh?"

"Sure is," Brian sighed.

Nick sat up on the bed. "What'd you get, Kev?"

I returned to the unloading the bags. "Um....loaf of bread, chips, soda, peanut butter.. and against my better judgement candy for you two," I stated tossing the bag at Brian.

"Sugar high!" Brian shrieked catching the bag.

"That's what I was afraid of," I groaned.

Nick walked over to me browsing through the food. "Why is everything generic?"

I shrugged. "Best I could come up with."

"Oh."

"Here, try this on for size," I said handing him the green coat.

"What's this for?" he asked.

"You needed a new coat of some sort, you got one. We're going to be travelling through the States and not all places are as warm as Florida."

Nick frowned. "My parents don't like charity. And they'll be mad if they find out I told you the money is tight at home."

"It's not charity, Nick. It's a gift, don't worry."

Brian stepped away from the window joining us. "Just take it, Nick. Maybe a warm coat will keep you from getting sick when we're doing stuff in different areas."

The small blonde slipped into the green fleece jacket. "It fits fine, thanks."

"Good," I said simply. I lifted the peanut butter into my hands. "Anyone want a sandwich?"

Brian shook his hand opening the candy. "No thanks, Nick and I will take the candy."

"Not so fast!" I replied stealing the bag from his grasp. "Eat something real first."

Nick crossed his arms. "The candy is real. I'm looking at it, aren't I?"

I snarled. "Just eat a sandwich, then you can have some candy."

Brian groaned taking a seat on the bed. "Kevin, you're worse than a parent."

I got a plastic knife out of the bag we had been using to carry paper cups and plastic utensils for our ride here. "I am not as bad as a parent!"

My cousin cocked an eyebrow. "Oh, really? Who's the one that always has a lecture prepared? Took care of Nick? And did the shopping?"

I smiled sheepishly. Okay, maybe he did have a point.

*****************************

"Kevin?" Brian whined.

I looked away from the television in annoyance. "What?"

"Wanna' play a game?"

"Brian, you were just playing that basketball thing with Nick while you two were bouncing off sugar highs."

"Yeah, but he's sick, so he fell asleep early and this movie sucks."

"Brian," I groaned, "how would you know? You can't sit through ten minutes of a movie without blabbing."

He shrugged. "Ya' still love me?"

Maybe I should just write across my forehead 'Please Mess With My Patience.' "I still love you, cuz. Sometimes I wonder why, but I do."

"So, you'll play with me?!" he beamed.

I returned my vision to the television screen. "I thought you bought that game for Nick?"

"I did, but Nick's asleep right now, so, we can play!"

"I want to watch my movie."

"Oh, come on...."

I massaged my forehead. "Screw the movie, I'm going to bed."

"Okay," Brian whispered staring at the television screen.

I glanced at his sad expression. "Okay, one game."

Why did I get the feeling I would regret this?

"Cool," Brian replied grabbing the small game.

I turned off the TV. "So, why are you wanting to hang out with me?"

He shrugged setting up the game. "I dunno, do I need a reason?"

"Yes," I answered immediately.

"I just wanna' kick your butt at this game," he decided taking a practice shot.

"Ha! That's what you think!" I snorted. "We'll see about that."

He smiled. "Your shot."

I stared at the tiny plastic basketball hoop. "How the hell am I suppose to do this?"

He placed my finger on the blue lever. "You put the ball in the black hole, then you just aim for the basket."

I rolled my eyes as I released my finger watching the ball only bounce an inch into the air, and then fall back into the hole where it started . "This is so ghetto."

"It's fun," he debated. "You're just jealous because you can't make a basket."

"I am not!" I argued.

"Sure you're not," he mimicked as he sunk the ball through the hoop.

I squinted staring at the game. How did he do that?

He smiled. "Your turn."

I attempted to master my aim on the flimsy plastic lever. "You're going down," I threatened releasing my finger to see the ball bounce off the hoop. "It's cheating!" I hollered pointing my finger at the game.

Brian rolled over laughing. "It's cheating?" he repeated. "Kev, it's a piece of plastic. It can't cheat, you just suck."

"Humph," I pouted watching him make another basket.

"Hey, Kev," my cousin whispered as I set up my shot.

I squinted checking every angle of my aiming. "What, Bri?"

"Um, if I got sick...I mean with my heart or something. Lou wouldn't make me perform like he did Nick, would he?"

I froze. That was a very good question. A question I didn't have an answer to.

I turned away from the game.  "I would hope that he wouldn't make you, but I don't know." The fat man had better hope he let Brian off- or he'd need a heart surgery of his own. A surgery to stick in back in after I ripped it out.

"I was just wondering," he mumbled.

I bit my lip. "Let's not worry about it. If something would happen with your heart condition we'll deal with it then. No sense in getting yourself all worked up over it now. Because right now, you're healthy, right?"

He nodded. "Right."

"And if something does happen, I'll make damn sure you get to a hospital."

"Okay."

"You wanna' get back to the game now?" I asked.

"Sure, cuz."

I returned my finger to the lever. I gently released my fingertip carefully aiming. I watched the ball slowly leave it's position travelling through the air toward the hoop and swish through the goal! "YES!" I shouted standing up glaring at the game. "I beat you- you stupid ghetto piece of shit!"

Brian lifted an eyebrow watching my victory dance. "Ya' know, Kevin...speaking of hospitals- I think I need to get in the car and rush you to the mental ward."

I rolled my eyes. "Let's get some sleep and save the gas money."

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