Chapter 7
Silence could be deafening. I heard nothing as I sat at the window in the early morning staring out at the world below me. People bussled down the street in a rush, in a search for something, but I couldn't hear them. All I could hear was silence. Which now seemed as loud as ever as it left me alone with my thoughts.
It was almost Thanksgiving and I knew I wouldn't be home. I'd be trapped in a world that I didn't belong in. After everything my mother had gone through she deserved to have her son present at least for one day, but it wasn't going to happen. The thoughts raced through my mind as I struggled with a way to tell Brian. I pitied his parents. I had plucked their son away from everything he had known just to sing. To make a joyful noise. A noise that right now wasn't joyful. It was painful.
All of the other members had somewhere to go, someone to be with. Brian and I had no one. Even my girlfriend was out of town.
"Kevin...." a small voice yawned.
I turned around. "Hi, Nick."
He sat down beside me. "What you looking at?"
I shrugged. "Just people."
"Oh."
I felt his forehead. Still warm. "How you feeling?"
He stared at the ground avioding the question. "Kevin?"
"Yeah?"
"I wanna' go home."
I sighed. "Nick, you're still pretty sick. You need to rest another day, then we can head back tomorrow morning, okay?"
He locked eyes with me. "Please, Kevin, I really want to go home." I knew in my mind he was too sick to be travelling about in a cold car for hours, but there was something in his eyes that tore at my heartstrings. It was the same look that lye within mine.
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"We should've waited another day," Brian stated as we drove along the busy highway. "Nick's still as sick as ever."
"The best medicine that boy needs is goin' home," I said simply.
"What good will that do him if he ends up with pnemonia by the time we get there?"
"At least he'd be with his mama," I replied.
Brian cleared his throat. "Speaking of going home. Um, Kevin, are we going home for Thanksgiving?"
I froze. I had avioded telling him. I avioded it because I didn't know how to say it. How was I suppose to crush my cousin's feelings? I spoke quietly. "No."
"No?" he repeated his voice somewhat cracking.
"No," I said once more keeping my focus on the road.
"Oh."
"How's Nick?" I asked changing the subject.
Brian glanced over his shoulder. "He's still asleep."
"Good, he needs it."
Brian rubbed at his eyes. I knew he was fighting tears. Should I have brought him here? Maybe I should have left him in Kentucky. Besides, he was happy there to begin with.
I bit my lip. "You know, it's okay to cry," I assured him.
"No, I'm fine," he fibbed. "I just need a nap. Wake me when we get to the next rest stop. If I sleep now, we can take turns driving and keep going all through the night."
"You up to that?"
He shrugged. "Let's just get Nick home as fast as we can. At least, someone will be with their family."
I watched with a heavy heart as he fell asleep.
Snow changed to sleet as we travelled further south. The icy substance gathering on my windowshield. Driving in Kentucky's horendous weather conditions had overly prepared me for the new driving course. Guilt was eating at me. I just wished I had an answer for so many of my questions. Wondering why I was constantly depressed, why I couldn't be home....And why I suddenly had become so persistent in the well-being of my younger bandmates. I sighed. Perhaps, the store clerk had been right. Cricket had said perhaps we were meant to be like brothers.
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"Kev......Kev..." Brian repeated loudly.
"What?" I yawned.
"Let me take over. You're falling asleep at the wheel."
"Oh, okay," I quickly agreed pulling over as my eyes began to droop.
Brian glanced at the map. "We're already in North Carolina?"
"Yep."
He nodded. "Good." He looked in the backseat giving Nick a smile. "It won't be much longer, buddy."
I massaged my temples as I walked through the cool air to the other side of the vechile. I glanced at Nick through the window. He was gathered to one side shivering as he coughed.
"Um, Bri, I'm gonna' get in back. Because....um...there's more room back there and I have long legs," I mumbled opening the car door.
Brian chuckled. "Whatever, cuz."
"Hey, Nick," I said softly adjusting my seatbelt.
He stopped coughing and wiped his watering eyes. "Hey," he croaked his voice barely audible.
"You doin' okay?"
"I'll be all right."
I felt his forehead frowning. "You'll be home soon. I promise."
He sniffled. "Okay."
"You cold?"
He shivered without end. "Yeah."
I patted his knee. "Why don't you strecth out and try to get more comfortable? You can lay your head in my lap. Maybe that'll help."
"Thanks," he coughed resting his head against me clutching the stuffed dog in his arms.
He looked so innocent and helpless, it was obvious someone was going to need to protect him.
"My chest hurts," he whispered hugging the toy tighter to him.
I stroked his brow. "It'll be okay. You just rest. Go to sleep."
As I ran my hands through his hair trying to keep him relaxed I found myself singing gently to ease his worry just as my mother had done for me.
"Lean on me.....when you're not strong....I'll be your friend....I'll help you carry on..."
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I opened my eyes to the dark moving scenery before me. I yawned attempting to stretch my limps, but was restricted by Nick who was still asleep.
"Hey, Kev," Brian greeted glancing up at me in the rearview mirror.
"Hey. You doing good? Want me to take over?"
"Sure, but I'll keep going to the next rest stop," he offered.
"Okay. Where are we now?"
"Almost through North Carolina."
"Already?" My eyes narrowed. "Littrell, did you speed?"
He blushed. "Well, it was a big open highway and there wasn't a cop for miles!"
I rolled my eyes. "At least you didn't get caught."
"Of course not!" he bragged.
I fidgeted about with my hands thinking of the best way to put my next comment.
"Brian?"
"Yeah, Kevin?"
"Um, I've been thinking...."
"Don't hurt yourself," he snickered.
I cleared my throat. "Well, we have some extra money because we didn't use the hotel room the extra night, and I was just thinking. Well, maybe when we get back to Florida you could use it to go to the pet store and get a turtle."
"Really?"
"Now, I don't believe in stealing, but I think Lou owes you. You gave up a lot to be here, and if having a pet would sweeten the deal, then you should have one."
"That really means a lot, Kev. Thank you."
"Don't mention it." I wanted to cheer up my cousin. Even if I meant getting him a slimy, ugly reptile. Only Brian could love a turtle.
He frowned. "Nevermind, Kevin."
What? This coming from Brian Littrell? Mr.I Love Animals?
"Why, Bri?"
"Because, I have to travel a lot, it wouldn't be fair to the poor little thing."
"Well, I thought about that. One of Nick's sisters adores animals, I'm sure she'd take care of the little monster while you were away."
"Aw, thanks, Kevin!" Brian beamed. He paused a moment. "Maybe I'll name it Thor."
Thor? Did I even want to know. I don't think so.
"Hmm...Erhh...Name what Thor?" Nick mumbled opening his sleepy eyes.
"My turtle," Brian responded with pride.
"Hey, sleepyhead," I greeted patting his shoulder.
He sat up slowly with my assistance. "Are we there yet?"
"Close," I assured him.
"Good," he yawned wiping the sleep from his eyes.
"Ah, here's the rest stop," Brian announced pulling into the open area.
I turned to Nick. "You wanna' get out for a little bit?"
He nodded. "Could I have something to eat?"
"You feel up to eating now?" I questioned. He hadn't eat within the past fourteen hours because of the motion sickness he was expriencing due to his illness.
"Yeah, I'm okay, now, just hungry."
"We'll get you something," I answered helping him out of the car.
"I gotta' go to the bathroom!" Brian exclaimed rushing off.
I shook my head. "What a goofball."
"But he's funny," Nick laughed.
"I guess," I admitted walking toward the gas station.
"What should I get?" Nick asked as we entered the small store.
"Try something like crackers, that should rest easy on your tummy."
"Okay," he answered trailing off.
Brian appeared before me looking relieved.
I lifted my brow. "Feeling better?"
"Much."
He stared at the candy bars. "Oooh, can we get some?"
"Brian, we have food in the car you can eat."
"You let Nick get something."
"That's because Nick has been having stomach issues. He's getting crackers not candy."
He stuck out his lower lip.
"Oh, fine! But get three Milky Ways. They're on sale three for 99 cents."
"That's the spirit, Kev! Even if you are still a tightwad."
"Well, thank you, Mr.Sunshine."
"Here they are," Nick said returning with crackers in hand.
I handed all the items to Brian, including my wallet. "Here, pay for that and behave. Nick and I are going to the rest room."
"But I don't need to go," Nick stated.
"Trust me you'll regret it if you don't."
Brian smiled. "You're leaving me alone with your wallet?"
"Yes, and don't ask me why I'm being so trustworthy."
"Hey, Kevin?" Nick mumbled as we entered the small restroom.
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"For what?"
"For everything."
Nick and I hurried about our business afraid to leave Brian unattended for a long amount of time.
"Hey, Nicky, look what I got ya'!" my cousin grinned handing him a bottle of Sprite.
I crossed my arms sending him a glare. "We had drinks in the cooler."
"I know," he groaned. "But that was the gross generic stuff, the kid's already sick at least he should have the good stuff."
"Fine," I sighed leading them back outside.
"Could I sit up front?" Nick asked.
Brian shrugged. "Sure. I'll just lounge in back."
We all loaded in preparing to continue our voyage. Brian made himself comfortable in back, while Nick sat up beside me nimbling on his crackers.
"We ready?"
"Ready," they answered in unison.
"Here we go," I said starting the engine pulling out into the open road. "Don't forget to take your medicine, Nick, you have to take it with food."
"Okay," he whispered reaching for the medication.
The silence I had known to be deafening returned as I drove along, until I heard Nick's raspy voice.
"Lean on me...when you're not strong....I'll your friend..."