Chapter 1

(Nick's point-of-view)

"Nick, Nick, get up!" Kevin growled smacking my head.

"Oooooh," I groaned lying still on my bunk.

"Come on, Nick, I mean, today is a big day, you know that."

Of course, it's a big day. When isn't it a big day in the life of the Backstreet Boys?

Howie spoke gently as he brushed his hair. "Nick, Brian's coming back from his surgery today. He'll be in the arena any minute. Don't you want to see him?"

I nodded. "Yeah."

Why was everyone so jolly? What if he looked different? What if he wasn't the same Brian? Hadn't anyone thought of that?

AJ stretched. "We've still got a few minutes, Kev."

"Yeah, a FEW minutes. Let's go. Don't y'all wanna see him?"

"Of course, we do," Howie answered.

"Then, get a move on!" Kevin demanded stepping off the bus.

AJ rolled his eyes. "What jumped up his ass?"

"It's his little cousin, AJ...Last time he saw him he was hooked up to a friggin' IV and using a walker."

I sat up. "We were worried, too."

"I'm not saying we weren't, Nick. But I think we would all feel differently if we had lost our fathers."

I guess Howie had a point. But then again, Howie is sweet enough to defend anyone.

I rubbed the back of my neck awkardly. My stomach was aching and I was sweating. I felt as if I was a child getting ready for the first day of school. Man, I wished I'd NEVER feel that way again.

I yawned lifting my muscle shirt over my shoulder blades. "Anyone else hot?"

AJ gave me a shocked look. "Of course we are! It's freakin' July in the South. Things are toasty."

"Oh, okay," I had forgotten we were now in....Carolina. I was still too groggy to remember North or South.

AJ threw a t-shirt in my face. "Come on, Nick, the last thing we need is Kevin biting your head off on Brian's first day back."

I looked down to see it was AJ's oversized t-shirt lying in my hands "SHUT UP AND DRIVE!" written across the front. What a friendly message to wake up to. None-the-less I began slipping my arms through the huge sleeves. "What's Brian going to be like?"

Howie stopped adding gel to his hair facing me. "What are you talking about?"

"Will he be different? Do we have to act different?"

AJ laughed. "Why would we do that?"

"Do we have to be careful about how we hug him?"

"I don't think so, kid."

"Good. Are we allow to talk about the surgery?"

Howie sighed. "Just keep quiet and go with the flow. Because that's Brian's decision really. So, let him bring it up first."

I nodded pulling a pair of baggy jeans over my boxers. "Oh, okay."

"Nick, your body is lost behind all that baggy stuff."

"I just want to be comfortable." Which I was not despite the loose clothing. Seeing him was literally making me feel sick. Something felt terribly wrong but I couldn't put a finger on it. I felt a baseball cap placed over my sloppy hair. "Let's go."

I looked like an AJ clone. No wonder I felt odd.

AJ wrapped an arm around me. Suddenly, he pulled away wiping his hand on his bright pants. "Gosh, Nick, you're sweating like a hog, man. Let's get you inside, at least the arena has a working air conditioner."

Why wasn't I in a hurry? He was my best friend. I should've been sprinting to the doors. But Howie and AJ walked several feet infront of me. I had no energy to get to the door. And I had no desire to open the door.

Howie pulled the door handle pushing me inside. I saw Brian wrapped in Kevin's arms practically being lifted into the air by his cousin. I guess, that fear about hugging him was gone now.

"BRIAN!" AJ and Howie shouted in unison running to him.

"Hey guys!" Brian squealed grabbing them both into a massive hug.

I stood back lingering at the door. I felt so weird. I wanted to run out the door and keep on running until I felt normal again.

It wasn't until Howie and AJ pulled away that I finally saw Brian clearly in full view. He had lost weight and looked tired. But otherwise in good health. However, I was afraid to touch him. I prefered standing by the door ready to fly out of the arena in a moment's notice.

"FRACK!" Brian hollered motioning me over.

I stood firmly by the door not moving. I was sweating and my stomach churned. I didn't want to leave my designated spot.

"Come here, Nick!" Kevin demanded. "Brian wants to see you!"

He could see me from right here. I still stood there silently.

Brian pulled away the group. "Nick?" he called softly. "It's me! Ya' know the guy you've been talking to on the phone for the past eight weeks?"

I nodded not moving my feet.

He was now directly infront of me. "What's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost. Did you watch another horror movie? You know you shouldn't watch those too late at night."

Kevin now came over. "Nick!" he snarled. "Would you snap out of it? Aren't you happy to see him?"

I stared at the ground. Everything around me played in slow motion. I felt as if I would fall over at any moment.

Brian leaned toward Kevin whispering. "Is he okay?"

"Of course! Aren't you, Nick?"

Brian sighed throwing his arms around my neck as he stood on his tip-toes to reach me. "Hey, buddy, I'm back to help 'ya cause trouble!"

My eyes widened as my head snapped upright. I felt as if I had been asleep for the the past few minutes. I shook my head. "Oh, hi, Brian."

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