Chapter 24
(Brian's Point of View)
I sat staring at my hands in the waiting room. I was still getting over the conversation Nick and I had had the night before. Why would he bring up death? He wasn't going to die, he was going to be just fine. I just felt so frustrated, why couldn't they find out what was wrong with him? Why did he have to suffer? I hated it, I wished it were me instead of him. I looked over at Kevin, who still looked like a zombie, I doubted he had slept well the night before. AJ and Howie sat on the couch across from me staring into space. I had to break the silence. "Kev, you feeling better today?" He looked up at me.
"I'm fine Bri, really." Okay then.
"Did you eat anything this morning?" I persisted.
"Nope, did you?" Actually I hadn't but I didn't count, I didn't look like the walking dead.
"No, but you should, you need to eat, so you can get your strength back and.." AJ cut me off.
"Hey, Brian, slow down. How about me and Howie go out and get something? I don't really want the cafeteria food." He made a face.
"Ok, good idea, Kev and I will wait here until Nick's done." Nick was getting his scope done, and none of us could be with him. It was killing me, but at least he was asleep. Howie stood.
"How's Mcdonalds sound?" He asked us.
"Great." Kev and I both answered. I was glad Kevin was a little more alert now, I was worried about him. He still looked pale, but I was pretty sure it was exhaustion and stress. I hoped it wasn't what Nick had. One member with the mystery illness was more than enough.
"Ok guys, we'll be back in a bit, if Nicky wakes up, give him a hug and tell him we're on our way back." Howie told us. They walked out of the small waiting room. Kevin looked over at me.
"Ok, spill it." Huh?
"What?"
"I know something is bothering you, now spill it! Is it something with Nick?"
I looked down quickly. "It's nothing, I'm fine." I mumbled. Kevin rolled his eyes and moved next to me. He put his hand under my chin and forced me to look at him.
"Look at me and tell me that then." I couldn't so I said nothing.
"That's what I thought, now get it off your chest and tell me, I'm not leaving you alone until you do." He wouldn't either. I took a deep breath and looked at him.
"It's Nick." He nodded patiently.
"What about him?"
"Well, after you left last night he asked me something."
"What?" I looked away again feeling my eye well up.
"He asked me if it would hurt to die." Kevin paled and closed his eyes.
"Oh God, what did you tell him?"
"I didn't know what to say, he was so worried if I would be okay when it happened." I felt my tears spill out. "I told him that he wasn't going to die, he isn't gonna die is he Kev?" I looked at him like a child looking for comfort, my tears running down my face. He grabbed me in a hug.
"Oh Brian, you and I both know anything can happen. Nick is scared, he's very scared right now. But he's got the best doctors and staff taking care of him and they are going to make him better, you just have to have faith." He told me as I completely lost it and sobbed into his chest. "Shh Brian, please don't cry, it's gonna be okay." I talked into his shirt.
"You don't know that, no one knows that." He rubbed my back as he continued talking calmly to me.
"No, I don't but I believe that Nicky will be fine and that makes me feel a little better about things." I continued to hold on to him.
"You know, I was scared too." Kevin pulled back and looked at me.
"What are you talking about?"
"With my surgery. I was scared I was gonna die, and that I would leave you all alone, you guys, my family, my friends, Leighanne." I wiped my eyes as more tears came. "I-I didn't know if I could make it, I didn't think I was strong enough." Kevin looked at me shocked.
"Of course you are! You are our walking miracle Brian! There is a good reason you are here, God wants you here! Maybe you are one of his angels sent down to make this world a better place!" I looked at him.
"Is Nicky one of God's angels too?" Tears came to his eyes as he looked at my hopeful face.
"Yes, Brian, I think he is. All of us are. Everyone is put on this earth for a reason, and ours is to bless others with our music. Nicky is a big part of that. He helps a lot of people who have problems in their lives when he sings. He comforts others." I wondered who could comfort us right now. I needed to switch roles, I needed comfort. I looked at Kevin again and saw tears in his eyes too. From this moment on, I would do nothing but believe in Nick. I had to show him he should believe in himself as well. I smiled up at Kevin.
"Kev?"
"Yeah bud?"
'Is AJ one of God's angels too?" He rolled his eyes and grinned.
"Yes Brian, and AJ was put on this earth to make people laugh with his 'Pooh porn.' I laughed. He smiled. "It's good to see you smiling bro."
"You too," I told him. No matter how much Kevin and I fight, I love him like a brother, I really do. I love all of them. I was startled out of my thoughts the cute little nurse, Katie walked in.
"Nick is out of the scope and in his room. I'd like it if only one of you went in to see him though, Until he's fully awake and alert." I looked at Kevin, but he motioned for me to go. I grinned at him and followed her out.
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"Mmmmm." I jumped as Nick moaned in his sleep. "Brian..want Brian." His weak voice said. I put my hand on his hot forehead and pushed his hair back.
"Hey buddy." I said softly as not to scare him as he woke up. He looked up at me confused at first and then relieved.
"Brian, are you okay, is it all okay?..." He said dazed. I put my hand on his chest and pushed him down as he was fighting to sit up.
"Nicky, calm down, I'm right here, I'm right here. Everything is okay." He stopped thrashing and looked at me.
"Brian, my throat hurts, it hurts bad." He said his voice weak.
"I know Nick, I'm going to go get your doctor, maybe she can give you something."
"NO DON'T GO!" He begged, bursting into tears. I jumped in surprise.
"Nick, it's okay, I'm staying, I won't leave you, don't worry. Shh, don't talk, let your voice rest." I soothed him. He looked at me with feverish eyes.
"Brian, I know now, I know the answer." I frowned at him. He had been trying to tell me the same thing for days now and he still wasn't making sense.
"What Frack?" He tried telling me then and started coughing violently. I grabbed his basin just in case, but he stopped and tried to catch his breath. I didn't like his breathing. I ran my hand through his hair. "Shh, Nick, just close your eyes, close your eyes and rest." I took a deep breath and started singing.