Chapter One: Sure. Fine. Whatever.

I arrived at 3 PM, an hour late. This was par for the course, but for once it was not my fault. My flight had been delayed by two hours. In Nick hours that is just enough time for one last cell call from his Mom informing him that she is not speaking to him if he goes to Kevin’s wedding with “...that girl I thought you broke up with but obviously don’t have the backbone to keep away from...” and a voice mail from said girl informing him that she’s not speaking to him if “ ...you are speaking to your mother, whom you don’t have the backbone to tell off...”. Really, with my squishy backbone it’s a wonder I can walk without my knuckles dragging the ground.

AJ was waiting for me at the terminal. I had phoned ahead to let the guys know that my plane was behind schedule. Thinking ahead and trying to be considerate had gotten me nowhere. What it did get me was a serious Kevin lecture that “..only you could book the one flight out of Florida that left late...” Yep. Twenty-seven flight choices and I had picked a winner.

“Bone.” I was too tired to defend myself. If it must be death, let it be now. Of course I would have appreciated it more if it had come before the fated phone calls, but your friends can’t think of everything.

“Nickers! Man I’m glad you’re here. Kevin is in a FREAKING mood and he’s driving everyone crazy! I’ll be glad when this is over.” Meaning the wedding, or my upcoming castration? Kevin does not fool around when people are late.

“Dude, you look wasted.” AJ gave me an appraising glance. “Nick, ARE you wasted?”

“No.” Like I said, tired.

“ ‘mon. We’ll get you to the hotel.” Sure. Fine. Whatever.

Fifty minutes later and I found myself in a beautiful suite. Kevin had spared no expense. Neither had I as apparently Kevin had booked the rooms but guest were expected to pay. I really didn’t mind, you shouldn’t be expected to pay for your guest. Of course “the boys” were family, at least Brian, AJ and Howie were. They were staying at Kevin’s house. I wasn’t invited.

I should point out that it really wasn’t me that wasn’t invited, I was, but only with the understanding that I “come alone”. Kevin tried to break the news gently. “It’s not that I don’t like Mandy, it’s just...well...I’ll be under a great deal of stress, so you guys .... um...,” he looked to AJ and Howie for support, “...are going to leave your girlfriends at home, right?” “YES KEVIN.” Wow. AJ and Howie in unison. Sounded rehearsed. Man they think I’m stupid.

I happened to know that Amanda was with her family for a reunion this weekend and Howie just broke up with Maggie. Leigh Anne was invited. She wasn’t a girlfriend, she was Brian’s conjoined twin.

That left me. Oh, Mandy. Yes. So, I was to tell my girlfriend that she was not invited to Kevin’s house to stay because she would cause “stress.” Yep. That will go over well.

I didn’t tell Kevin that Mandy wasn’t going to attend anyway. For one thing she had a previous engagement. For another we were on the simi-outs, which means we were dating but not living together. For a third, she hates Kevin. That feeling is mutual.

Mandy was under the impression that Kevin wanted to control my life. Kevin was under the impression that Mandy wanted to control my life. They were both under the impression that my Mother wanted to control my life. I was under the impression that there were too many cooks in my stew, and I was about to boil over.

I could have told Kevin that Mandy had never planned to attend his wedding, but why spoil the moment? Of course he might feel guilt that I was staying at the hotel alone. I’m counting on it.

AJ informed me, for all Kevin’s late arrival panic, that I had over three hours before we were due to get together. He suggested a nap - for himself. He left me to take care of myself. AJ thinks I’m a “weeble, those toys that “wobble but won’t fall down?” Either AJ has faith that I’ll find my way or he’s making comments about my butt.

I didn’t nap, if I did I wouldn’t be able to sleep that night and I wanted to sleep at night. I didn’t want to stay awake and think. Lately it’s been the same old thing. How did I drift so far from my family? Why couldn’t Mandy and I stay together for more than three months at a time? Why did Kevin keep butting in? Why does AJ use mascara to fill in his beard? Why does he admit it? Why do my dogs pee on my rugs? Why do my dogs pee on Howie’s feet? What does this say about my dogs? What does this say about Howie? Who the hell can sleep with all that in their head?

I had decided to take a shower in order to revive when someone knocked. Oh God, don’t let it be Mandy. I was able to breath again when I discovered Brian at my door.

“FRACK! You made it buddy!” He looked so happy. He also looked around the room. This was to pinpoint Mandy’s physical position. Brian hates to be blind-sided.

“Hey Frick, what ya doing here?” And alone! I’m so damned impressed. You go Frick.

OK, this sounds tacky, but consider...Brian actually left the Bahamas early because Leigh Anne couldn’t figure out how to call the damn plumber herself. Yea, right. Even I wouldn’t fall for that one. Not to mention that if Frack had left a recording session early to attend to a girlfriend 1) I would have suffered through several lectures, “this is our job” , “you never could handle responsibility”, “it’s really tacky of you to pull this in a country where dismemberment is against the law”. But Frick is not Frack. He is immune to such barbs. All he does is golden. I should stop before I sound bitter.

“Frack man, wanna grab a bite before we go to Kevin’s?”

“Sure.” Man am I tired.

“Um...well, get Mandy and...”

“She’s not here.” Oh, that got a reaction. The famous Littrell double eyebrow raise (it takes both to get anywhere near the impact of one of Kevin’s). “I didn’t bring her.”

“Oh.” What else was there to say?

“I’m need a shower first, ‘K?”

“Sure, no problem.” Brian flopped on my bed which sent me into Deja Vu. It had been a long time since Brian had done this, more than a year. Almost two. He watched while I hung up some things (I was going to be there for a few days, no sense in letting them wrinkle.). He also nosed through the rest of my luggage. I didn’t mind, he had always done that. Actually it felt good.

“Quick one, OK?” Brian must be hungry.

“Sure, no prob.”

“Nick?” I turned, “What’s wrong?”

He caught me off guard. Not that he hadn’t asked me that question in the last two years, heck all the guys had. But it had been a long time since I had heard it in that tone of voice, complete, undivided attention. He meant business. For all our growing apart he still knew me best.

“Nothing.” My automatic response.

“No, really. I’m just going to bug you.”

“Frick..” I didn’t want our time taken up with my shit.

“Frack take your shower. When you get out we are going to talk.” A command. YES SIR! I knew we would, too. Brian doesn’t often use that tone of voice but when he does he means business, even if it means bamboo shoots under the nails.

I stood under the water and thought. I really did need to talk to someone, but it had been a while since I had confided in Brian, and my problem went beyond the norm. It wasn’t about Mandy or Mom, both of whom I had learned to deal with in my own way. The guys might not agree with my methods, but hell it was my life. And anyway, I hated to dump something potentially serious on Bri right before Kevin’s wedding.

I heard the phone ring and Brain answer. I assumed it was someone for me, it being my room and all. You know when you “assume” you make an “ass” out of “u” and “me”?

Since I was now out of the shower I could overhear the conversation. I didn’t feel guilty, it was my room.

“But honey...” Brian was almost whining. Know I know why the guys hate it when I do that. “Yes but....we were just going to ....well, me and Nick..” The magic word! “...OK, OK, I’ll be right there.” Wussy.

“Hey Frick, I’ll be ready in just a sec.” It was mean, I know, but he was about to dump me.

“Frack?” He sounded so...hopeful. That I would understand, I guess.

“Yea?”

“Listen, there’s been a change in plans and....uh....” Brian is a terrible fibber. “...Kevin needs me to come back early.”

“Fine. I’ll go with.”

“NO! I mean, why don’t you grab a bite? Kevin and I have to run around, do some quick chores. We’ll see you out there later, OK?”

“Sure.” He actually let out a big breath.

“You got the map?”

“Yep.” I knew Brian’s mind was no longer on me. Nick and Map just don’t go together. Especially if you want Nick there on time.

“See you at six.” Sure. Fine. Whatever.

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Chapter 2