Chapter Eight: Laughter is Bad for You
When I awoke from my second nap of the day Michael was there with soup and Sprite. And an attitude. Thank goodness this one wasn’t aimed at me.
“I can’t believe him.” Michael shook his head in disbelief. “Nick I owe you an apology. I thought you were exaggerating - or being an ungrateful brat - but man! I can’t believe he talked to you that way.”
I shrugged. Hey, I was use to it. I wasn’t use to the look Michael was giving me.
“Why didn’t you defend yourself? Why didn’t you say something? Tell him to go to hell? Push him out of your face? Why didn’t you...”
“Stand up to him?”
Michael’s head shot up, and I’ll be damned if he didn’t blush.
“Well, see, I have this backbone problem.” Might as well come clean.
“Sorry.” He looks more sincere when he says that than Kevin does. “I’m butting in all over the place, right?
“Yea, but I’m use to it. I’ve developed the ability to let most of it run off my back.”
“Maybe that’s what’s causing that backbone problem.” Michael is sharp. Tacky too. “I know I’m butting in again, but you really should do something about this.”
“What Michael? Confront him? I did that when I got back from his house and found him here. What good did that do? Perhaps I could try avoiding the problem, but I did that AT his house, and that got me no where. Michael I have dealt with this for years and no matter what I do, ignore it, try to confront it, it never helps. If I try to deal with a problem myself I get it in the neck, if I ask for help I’m accused of being a baby. I can’t win here, Mike. I accept that.”
“Bullshit.”
“Excuse me?”
“You heard me. How hard have you tried Nick?” Michael leaned in close. “It’s a real convenient excuse not to fix things, isn’t it?”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Don’t play poor peroxide obsessed Nicky with me.” Michael was up and pacing now. “You don’t have to solve your problems if you can hide behind this situation, do you? I’m dammed if I do and dammed if I don’t? Well, that makes don’t an option, doesn’t it?”
“Get out.” I was pissed now, but so was Michael, and believe me when I say Kevin has nothing on this cousin.
“Make me.” I must have looked shocked. “Oh, but that’s not the way we play this game, do we Nick? You say get out, I do. You feel that I’m trying to run your life, and I get to feel guilty for butting in BUT nothing gets solved, does it? That leaves the door open for me to do it all over again, right? Then you get to play poor put upon Nick. No one notices I’ve grown up! I can take care of myself, except when I can’t and want someone to wipe my nose.”
“SHUT UP!” I actually got out of the bed. I fisted my hands, I....I...I didn’t know what to do. Nothing like this had ever come up. “Get out, now!
“No.” Michael sat back down, calmly folded his hands in his lap, and watched me.
“I said get out.”
“No, and give up Nick, you’re already running out of steam. That backbone of yours is slumping.”
That’s it. I don’t have to take this, I really don’t. I grabbed Michael’s collar and jerked him out of the chair, surprising him....and myself. I have no idea who’s eyes got bigger.
“That’s it Nick, give me what for! Fight back!”
I let go of him and prepared to tell him off when I noticed something odd. My stomach had stopped hurting.
“Nick? You all right?” I put my hand on my tummy and gave it a gentle rub. “Is it your stomach? I’m sorry I never meant...”
“It’s fine.” I sounded more surprised than I had on any Christmas morning. “It stopped hurting.”
Michael’s shoulders relaxed. He watched my astonished expression for a moment longer, then burst into laughter.
“I know. It’s a really shocker, the first time you realize you can take total control of your life.”
“I’m...”
“I know. At a loss? No man, you’re not. It will all come to you.”
I sat back down and thought about the past few minutes. I didn’t know Michael that well but he had switched to “happy” to fast for the rest to have been real. What was going on?
“Sorry for that. Me pushing you and all, but I was there myself Nick.” He sat beside me and looked me right in the eye. “I was a mess. Everyone one else was running my life, I couldn’t seem to finish a problem no matter what I did. My ex had me stressed to the max, he hated my family because he wanted to be in charge ...” He? Did he just say he? “My family hated him because...”
“You’re gay?” Sorry to interrupt, but this might be important. Like the next time I decide to be nude. Oh God, a gay man had seen me nude.
“Nick, don’t sweat it man! You didn’t get me all hot.” I blushed, but I guess I hadn’t upset him. He was laughing too hard for me to think he was insulted.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be weird..”
“It’s fine, really. I guess it never came up, huh?” No, just my lunch. And anyway, I didn’t get him all hot...I didn’t get him all hot?
“So...you didn’t notice I was naked?” I have no idea why, but now I felt insulted. It took a few minutes to get an answer as Michael had to catch his breath. Too much laughter is dangerous.
“Nick I noticed you were nude! I’m not blind!” Oh here comes that wide load joke. “And what I saw looked good...” WHAT? I’ll kill him!
“Nick!” Michael gave up then. It was just too funny. And it was. What the hell, I’ll just join him. Maybe a good laugh is just what I need.
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