Chapter Nine: A Cunning Plan
“Mike?”
“Yea Nick?”
“So, Kevin knows you’re gay?” I’m just curious.
“Yea, and Nick, Kevin doesn’t think you’re gay. If he did he wouldn’t let me within five hundred feet of you.”
“Why not?”
“Oh, because I’m just GORGEOUS and I might seduce you.”
“Oooohhhhh.” Hum. That’s interesting. “Mike?” I lifted my head so I could see him from my current position on the bed.
“Yea Nick?” Mike lifted his head so he could see me from his current position on the floor.
“You know how you said I should do something once and for all? I mean to show Kevin that he needs to stop butting in on my life?”
“Well, I insinuated that, yea...”
“Mike?”
“WHAT is it Nick?”
“Kevin is trying to keep me from Mandy...”
“Yea. He thinks she’s bad for you, and he wishes you would find someone else.”
“Michael, I think I’ve found someone else.”
“I think Kevin has someone in mind.”
“Well tough, I’ve got my own.”
“Really?” He sounded suspicious. He should.
“Yea.”
“Who?”
“You.”
Michael sat up, fast. Now he looked bewildered. Sometimes I have that effect on people.
“What do you mean me? Nick, I know you’re not gay...”
“Well, no, but I’ve been thinking...” I rolled on my left side. “...Kevin wants me to have someone new, and I think I should accommodate him.” Now it was my turn to have a shit-eating grin.
“Nick, you mean you want to try....”
“NO NO! I don’t mean that!” Let’s keep this clean, people! “I mean I want to PRETEND to try....that.” The last word got stuck in my throat, and in light of what I was suggesting I should have been glad that was all that got stuck there.
“So, you’re suggesting that...”
“Kevin’s plan work, to a degree. I see the light Michael! Mandy is BAD for me! I need someone that will treat me right!” Come on Michael, no pun intended.
“So....Kevin is going to try and set you up...”
“Right, but I don’t go for who he is trying to set me up with, but who he has put me in the company of! And hey, this new thang is his idea! For once I’m listening. He’ll be soooo pleased.”
“He’ll be so pissed.” No shit Sherlock. “Nick he will freak! It took years for him to accept that I was gay! If he thinks that I have influenced you...” Michael’s brow furrowed. “But then again, he does want you to move on and find something, let me remember how he put it to me....completely different from Mandy.” Suddenly Michael’s lightblub seemed to be on the same wattage as mine. “He’ll shit.”
“Yep.”
“He’ll kill us both.”
“Yep.”
“He’ll feel really guilty.”
“Yep.”
“Let’s do it!”
Good man, that Michael. So instead of taking it easy for the rest of the evening I was involved in a massive counter attack. A war room was established, our battle plans drawn, our shirts for the wedding dyed to match. This was war.
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