Chapter 23
(AJ's point-of-view)
"AJ, baby," my mom whispered stepping into my hospital room.
"Hi, Mama."
She frowned fidgeting with her hands unable to look at me.
I sighed. "What's wrong?"
"Your um.....father called. He wanted to come see you. Or maybe have you call him back, I guess."
Guilt fell to the pit of my stomach. "Do I have to?
She shook her head. "You don't have to do anything you don't want to. You do what makes you feel better."
"I...I don't think I wanna' call him."
"Then, don't."
"You won't be angry?"
"Of course not. He's my ex-husband. You'll always be my son. I care more about you more than anything."
I vaugely recalled my childhood. Her words were truthfully. She did care more about me than anything. "Why were you always there?"
"What kind of a question is that, Alex?"
"Why did you always care when my dad didn't?"
"You were my life, kiddo. You still are. When things seemed beyond rough- I had you to bring a glimpse of happiness in my life. You have no idea how happy you made me."
"But Mom....How did you get through?"
"Get through what?"
"Being a single parent?"
"It wasn't that tough. You had aunts and uncles... Alex, you know how much Grandma and Grandpa helped us. We even lived with them quite awhile, remember?"
I did remember. Those were good times. I had extended family to make up for any loss being without a father might have caused. I glanced into her tired eyes. "I'm twenty now, Mama. You don't have to be here for me anymore."
She boosted herself onto the side of bed. "You're right, I don't 'have' to. I want to be here."
"Is it wrong for me to be jealous?"
"Of what?"
"Nick."
"Nick Carter?"
"Yeah, he has a great dad."
"Yes, he does, honey."
"I wish....." I paused. What in the hell was I doing? My mom had done so much. How dare I feel bad? "Aw, man, Mama, I'm so sorry. I...."
She lifted her hand. "Never be sorry. Don't be sorry unless you hurt someone, and you're not hurting me."
I raised an eyebrow. "I'm not?"
"No, it's normal to have these feelings."
I rubbed my sore stomach. "Did he ever pay child support?"
She shrugged. "Sometimes."
"Not always?"
"No, not always."
Tears began to form in my eyes. My mother massaged the back of my neck. "Alex, what on earth has gotten into you? Do I need to page your doctor?"
I shook my head. "No. I love you, Mama."
She hugged me tightly. "I love you, too, baby. What brought all this on?"
"I had just been feeling so jealous when Nick would talk about his dad-then, wish he had a mom like you."
She laughed. "Like me?"
"Yeah, he's having problems with his mom."
"I had heard. Contrary to what he may think she loves him very much."
"Deep down he knows. But I do think she should chill."
"Yes, but it's her way. And he has to understand that."
I shrugged. "I guess." I took her hand. "Thank you for always understanding.
Even when I had 'guy' problems and stuff like that. I wouldn't want my life any differently that what it was, Mama. You made my life so much more that it could've been."
I stared at my mother in awe. If only I could find someone as sweet as caring to be my wife. And I made a vow to myself to be a good parent like my mother had been.
I would never act like my father. I'd never walk away. Blood is blood. And my blood type matches my mother's not his.
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