Ch. 15

"NOOOOOO!" the screaming nine-year-old wailed fighting my grip on her arms.

I held the scissors in my hand. "Angel, we have to get the gum out of your hair!"

"You are NOT cutting my hair!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to cut your hair, just get the gum out."

She stomped on my foot.

"OW! SON OF BIT-"

"Kevin, bite your tongue!" Kristin hissed.

Bite my tongue? Why in the hell would I put myself through more pain? My foot was already throbbing!

"Why are you holding scissors if you're not going to cut my hair?!"

"I was just going to um....."

Kristin took Angel's hand guiding her to the kitchen. "Come on, honey, we'll get it out."

I followed behind them. "Kristin, it is now 1:30 in the morning! She should be in bed! Just like the rest of her siblings."

Kristin spoke through her teeth. "Honey, the rest of her siblings don't have gum in their hair!"

"Thank God, that would be hell."

Angel sniffled. "Why would you put 'God' and 'hell' in the same sentence?"

Why couldn't Aaron get gum in his hair? He wouldn't care if we cut it and he doesn't have the desire to listen to what I say anyway. No, it had to happen to the twin with good aim for my feet. Angel wrinkled her nose as she watched Kristin roam the cabinets. "Peanut butter?"

"Peanut butter?" I repeated.

My girlfriend slid the goo between her fingers. "I read it in a magazine."

I faced Angel. "You wouldn't let me cut it out, but you'll let her put peanut butter in your hair?"

"Uh huh."

Ladies and gentlemen, this is yet another reason why my 'puppy theory' is a good thing. Dogs don't care if you have to cut their fur. Angel cringed as Kristin lattered the food into her brown strands.

"Is it coming out?"

"A little."

"It feels gross!"

Kristin stared at her hands. "It's not so great from this point-of-view either, honey."

I crossed my arms. "I really don't see why you just don't cut it out."

"Because she doesn't want us to, Kevin!" she snapped still fighting with the goo.

"So?"

"Kevin, go be helpful and get the lotion out of my purse."

"Where is it?"

"Lying on the table by the napkin holder."

I searched through the comparents retrieving the object. "What will this do?"

"Soften the thickness of the peanut butter breaking up the gum more." She extended her messy hand in my direction. "Give me some."

"Yes, Ma'am," I replied squirting the green liquid into her brown palm.

She smiled gently. "You're doing great, Angel. I know it pulls a bit." She pressed her hands together returning to the little girl's mane.

Angel squirmed. "This sucks major ass."

Kristin's jaw dropped. "Where did you hear that?!"

"Kevin."

"Kevin Scott Richardson!"

I smiled sheepishly. "Yes, dear?"

"You don't talk that way in front of children!"

I fidgeted. "AJ does....."

"AJ McLean is an eighteen-year-old horndog!" she hissed as a large amount of gum entered her palm. "Aw, that was a big piece, sweetie! Almost done!"

I shook my head. "I still say we should've-"

"We know! We heard you the first zillion times! Like, duh!" Angel groaned.

Kristin shot daggers at me. "Ditto."

Forgive a man for taking the easy way out at one in the morning. A man who had suffered trick-or-treating with children and babying a hormonal adolescent.

And bringing up Carter Christmas memories is simply too painful. If I'm ever rich enough Frosty will be banned from television screens everywhere! Why do children love a snowman? It will only melt anyway. And what about children in Florida? They couldn't possible play with Frosty:The Snowman. Snow isn't exactly well-known in this area. Why isn't there 'Sandy:The Sandman'?

Oh no, it's accuatly happening: I'm beginning to think like a Carter. Not just any Carter....The blonde, tall Carter that I have to put up with year-round playing his punk music on the tour bus! Sanity be damned! Dear God, I beg of you. Send me no children- puppies will do.

"There!" Kristin exclaimed tossing the disgusting slime into the trash. "Kevin, help me turn on the water and wash this off my hands."

Angel's face still wore a look of disgust as I turned on the faucet.

"What's wrong now?"

She placed her hands on her hips. "How would you feel with peanut butter and lotion in your hair?"

Kristin faced me. "Sweetheart, just wash out the few strands where the gum was stuck."

"Shouldn't she just wash it all?"

"Yes, but it's late and she needs her sleep. If she washes her hair it will take awhile because we'd have to dry it."

"Why?"

She stared at me as a dunce cap was superglued to my head. "She could catch a cold."

"Couldn't she with a few strands wet?"

"Not if you towel-dry them."

I shrugged. "Yes, dear." I glanced around the kitchen. "Should I go get some shampoo?"

She grunted. "Honestly, Kevin! Just take the dish liquid and get out the gunk! She can wash it all out later!" I wetted Angel's hair. "Um....Kristin?"

"What?"

"I love you." There, I'm sure that would save my ass.

"I love you, too, Kevin. However, you're still an insensitive moron."

Angel smirked as I layering the dish liquid into her hair. "Dissed."

I glanced at the scissors lying on the table. "It's not too late to cut your hair, 'ya know."

"Kevin, apologize!" Kristin scowled.

I placed Angel's hair under the faucet. "Sorry."

Kristin observed my work. "Did you get it all out?"

"Yes, dear." My girlfriend placed a towel over Angel's wet hair rubbing the strands together quickly. "Sorry we had to keep you up so late, Angel."

The child yawned. "That's okay."

I helped Kristin dry her hair. "Yeah, I'm sorry too, Angel."

"Sure you are."

Suddenly, I saw the resemblence between Angel and her evil brothers.

Kristin tossed the towel onto the counter. "All done. Go get some sleep."

Angel pouted. "Can I sleep with you?"

"Oh, sweetie, I dunno...."

"We could take Mommy and Daddy's room. And you can borrow one of Mommy's night gowns. Please?"

No, Kristin, don't look at the pleading brown eyes! Fight off the cute vibes! Fight them, Kristin! She weakened hugging the child.

"All right, run on upstairs."

"What?" I gasped as Angel disappeared.

"She's had a rough night."

"Like we haven't!"

"She's a tired nine-year-old who just got gum out of her hair at two AM. After yelling at you forever to put away the scissors!"

"Hey, my method was faster!"

"So? It upset her. Besides, seeing us sleep in the same room might disturb them."

"Disturb them? They've met AJ-they're already disturbed!" I massaged my temples. "Where do I end up sleeping?"

"Nick got up after Angel started screaming he went back to his room. The couch is yours'." She kissed my cheek.

"Goodnight."

Good? What was so good about it? She wasn't the one destine to a lumpy couch for the night.

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