Ch. 16

"Kevin.....Kevin!" a tiny voice whined pulling on my shirt.

I squinted staring at Aaron's pouty face. "What?"

"I'm hungry!"

I closed my eyes. "Then, go make some cereal!"

Aaron climbed up on the couch. "We're out of milk."

"Then, make toast!" I hissed.

He plopped down on my stomach. "I don't know how!"

"OOF!" I yelped. "What do you mean 'you don't know'?"

He poked my stomach. "Mom won't let me use the toaster. She's afraid I'd blow up the house!"

"I see her point." I lifted him off me. "Go eat some Halloween candy."

"For breakfast?"

"Sure."

He smiled. "Thanks, Kev!"

"Ooooh," I moaned as I shifted on the couch. Every part of me throbbed. "Damn lumpy contraption from hell....." I grumbled pulling the blanket over my eyes.

"KEVIN!!!!" Aaron shouted from the kitchen.

"Errrrh, what?" I asked keeping the blanket over my eyes.

He jumped on my stomach once again.

"OOF! DAMNIT!"

He pulled the blanket away placing his hands on his hips. "Why did you move the Halloween candy? You dumped it all in one bag! Now, I don't know which is mine!"

"What does it matter?"

"It just does."

I gritted my teeth giving a forced smile. "Look at it this way- your sisters aren't awake yet. You can look through and steal all the good candy."

"Great idea!" he exclaimed running off.

"Kevin Scott Richardson, do my ears deceive me?" I glanced up to see Kristin walking towards me. "Good morning." She smiled. "Did you sleep well?"

I punched the lumpy couch. "Great....just great." She massaged my back. "You're so tense. Was it that bad?"

"You have no idea! Then, I was awakened by a bouncing Aaron."

She kissed my neck gently. "Well, how would you like me to brighten your morning?"

"Hmmm...." I smiled rubbing her bare shoulder where the baggy nightgown had slid down.

"That could be arranged."

She climbed into my lap. "Let the arranging begin!"

"EW!" Angel shrieked.

Kristin jumped off my lap. "WHAT? ARE YOU OKAY?"

Angel cringed. "You guys were kissing! K-I-S-S-ING!"

I rolled my eyes. "Angel, people kiss all the time."

She crossed her arms. "I think it's gross."

Kristin smiled. "One day you won't."

"Yeah.....well, that one day has already come for me," I grumbled staring at Kristin's legs.

Kristin lifted my head up. "Control yourself." She took Angel's hand. "Come on, honey, I'll come help you run a bath. Then, you can wash your hair thoroughly to make sure everything got out, okay?"

Angel nodded. "Okay."

Angel got my girlfriend's company this morning while Aaron got candy....And what did I get....A lumpy couch.

"Ahhhh, morning, Kevin," Nick yawned as he came down-the-stairs still in his basketball jersey from the night before.

I punched the couch from Hades still in an attempt to make myself comfortable. "Morning."

He raised an eyebrow. "Um...Kev?"

I continued beating the furniture. "Yeah?"

"Did you know the couch pulls out into a bed?"

I gritted my teeth. "Now, you tell me?"

He shrugged. "I didn't know you were sleeping out here. I figured you'd be sleeping with Kristin in my parents' room."

"No, she and Angel slept in there."

"Bummer. Kristin's sexy as hell! And her legs-"

"That's enough!" I shouted as I continued to drown in my own self-pity.

He ran a hand through his tangled blonde mane. "I'm gonna' go get some breakfast. Make some toast or something."

I sat up. "Aaron's in the kitchen. I told him he could eat candy, but since you're up get him to eat something sensible."

"Dude! Candy for breakfast...That kicks ass!" Nick exclaimed making his way to the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes. "Nick, you're suppose to set an example. Secondly, it's not your candy, your brother and sisters went out and got that last night."

"So, you snooze you lose."

I fell back against the hard cushions. "Why do I even bother?!"

******************************

"Why did you eat our candy?" Leslie demanded staring at her older brother.

Needless to say, lunch time at the Carter home is as exciting as breakfast........

Nick looked down at her. "It's not a big deal."

"Yes, it is! It wasn't yours'! You stole it-you should be arrested!" Leslie stormed over to me pulling on my arm. "Kevin, arrest my big brother!"

Little did the child know how I would love to have the ability to put Nick in custody......I shrugged. "Sorry, Leslie, I can't."

She pouted. "Why not, Kevin? I thought you could do anything."

I smiled. Well, I'd hate to break her little heart. That next measure I took was really for her sake......Really I swear....

I pinned Nick against the doorframe. "Okay, hands behind your back. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can or will be used against you in a court of law. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be appointed to you--"

"Kevin, what the hell are you doing?" he gasped as I bound his wrists with a hankerchief.

"Arresting you, just like Leslie said!"

BJ tapped me on the shoulder. "Kevin?"

I stopped my police routine facing her. "What?"

"On what grounds are the arrest?"

"On the grounds of Florida, Your Honor."

She crossed her arms. "And do you have a warrant for his arrest?"

"Um....Leslie told me to?"

The blonde shook her head. "Sorry, Kev, the request of a ten-year-old isn't enough for an arrest. Release him."

I sighed letting go of Nick's wrists. "You're free."

Nick rubbed his wrist tenderly. "Someone was a little obsessive playing cops and robbers as a kid...." he grumbled flicking me off.

Forgive a guy for having one moment of fun.

"Lunch is ready kids!" Kristin announced setting a plate of sandwiches on the table.

"FOOD!" Aaron and Nick yelled in unison attacking the platter.

Kristin pulled her hands away from them. "Easy! Save some for everybody else!"

"Yum! Peanut butter and jelly!" Aaron shouted smacking his lips together.

I cringed. "Suddenly I've lost my appetite."

Leslie pulled herself into my lap. "He's a complete slob."

I gave her ponytail a soft tug. "My thoughts exactly."

Angel faced me. "Kevin?"

"Yes, Angel?"

"Are you and Kristin gonna' have kids? Like my mommy and daddy did?"

"Um....well....I don't know about having five kids," I stuttered.

Kristin sipped her water. "Well, Angel, if Kevin and I would get married we've discussed getting a puppy."

Yes, my 'puppy theory' had won her over!!

The small brunette wrinkled her nose. "A puppy? Instead of kids?"

BJ stared at Aaron and Nick in disgust. "They're really not that different, sis. Only they don't drool as often as our brothers do."

Nick lifted his head. "Should I be insulted?"

"Go back to eating blonde-boy," I instructed heading Leslie one of the sandwiches the boys had managed not to demolish. Kristin turned to BJ. "Honey, what time do you think your parents will be back?"

"I have no idea. I just hope Mom's not pregnant....again. Last time they were out this long..."

"We get the idea, BJ," Kristin assured her.

Leslie handed me part of her sandwich. "When do you go back to Europe?"

I took a small bite. "In two days."

"Two SHORT days," Nick complained.

Leslie grinned. "Do you think I'll see Brian again! I like Brian!"

Why did she like that stupid dork? And why did girls become obsessed with guys at such a young age? It's really quite frightening to see your face plastered to a posterboard that an eight-year-old child is packing when you're in your mid-twenties.... "Um...maybe Nick could invite him over to play hoops?" I offered.

She smiled bouncing up and down. "That would be awesome!"

"MOM!" Aaron shouted suddenly as we heard the car pulling into the driveway.

"MRS.CARTER!" Kristin and I shouted in relief. I opened the door embracing the older woman in a hug.

"Mrs. Carter, welcome home!"

She patted my back. "Um....hello, Kevin."

Kristin led Mr.Carter inside. "Good day, Mr.Carter. Look, kids your dad's home. Isn't that great?"

I grabbed my suitcase tossing Kristin her jacket. "Well, we'll be on our way!"

Mr.Carter lifted Angel on his back. "You seem like you're in a hurry to leave."

I smiled. "I just want you to cherish this time you have with your children, that's all!"

Kristin slid her arms through her jacket. "Yeah, they are wonderful children and they missed you very much."

Nick tilted his head. "We did?"

"Of course you did!" I spat. Last time I had a moment alone with my girlfriend he gave me his cold..... ruining everything a man dreams of! If he ruins my opportunity again I will be forced to deal with him privately. The idea of shoving him through the drive-through window of McDonalds and leaving him stranded in London with a cluster of Happy Meal toys is somewhat appealing.

Mrs.Carter smiled at me as Aaron clung to her waist. "I hope they didn't cause too much trouble."

I forced a grin. "No, not at all."

No trouble considering your sons are demon spawn, BJ is a walking hormonal case out to rip AJ's face off- or is it Marisa's face,  Angel will eventually kill a hairdresser for getting near her precious tresses and Leslie wants Nick arrested for candy theft- no problem at all.....

Kristin buttoned her jacket. "Did you have a nice time last night, Mrs.Carter?"

Mr.Carter licked his lips. "We sure did!" His wife blushed.

"Yes, we had a very pleasant evening. Maybe one day you and Kevin will have five children of your own- just like ours'."

I cringed, did anyone else feel the need to vomit? Kristin bit her lip as she managed to stutter. I'm not sure if she was fighting back laughter or vomit....

She clutched my arm. "Come on, Kevin!" she whispered excitedly. "We want to get there before they close!"

"They who?" I asked dumbly.

She shot me a look that read. 'Don't ruin my escape plan you dipshit!' She cleared her throat. "What do you mean 'who' the humane society of course! We're getting a puppy to keep at my place, remember?"

"Oh, yeah! Stupid me!" I opened the door pulling her behind me.

"Hey, KEEEVIN!" Aaron shouted.

I sighed facing the small child.

A devilish smile swept across his face. "I have an idea for what you and Kristin could name your doggie...."

I pasted a smile on my face speaking through my teeth. "W-hat?"

He cleared his throat. "BARNEY!"

Kristin grinned. "Maybe, Aaron," she replied closing the door. Together we raced to her car. We opened the doors scrambling inside. I locked my door protecting myself from an intrusion from the clan. "Ready to go to the humane society?"

I nodded. "Do we have to get a puppy?"

She faced me. "The 'puppy theory' was your idea..."

"I know but I don't want to name a puppy 'Barney'!" I covered my ears as the disgusting theme played in my head. "It brings back evil memories."

"Kevin.." she said as if she were talking to a stupid dog.

"Yes?"

"That's why you get a girl dog, moron! Then, you don't have to name it ' Barney'!"

I leaned back against my seat. "Oh....Are we going to name it 'Bitch?'"

She turned on the engine. "Sometimes, you and Nick are one in the same!"

That is the worse insult I have received in my entire lifetime!

"Why don't you just rest on the drive there and try to let your one working brain cell take a breather?"

she offered. I shrugged flipping on the radio. "Okay."

"And now ladies and gentleman for your listening pleasure an oldie but goodie..." the dj announced.

I shut my eyes relaxing to the music.

"And they called it puppy love....."

The End