Quotes
Quotes: Listed somewhat chronologically below, or click a name to read that person's collection.
Alicia Andy John (my bro) Juliana KC Liz me Mr. Dannible Nutt Sarah W Summar
"She wanted me to braid her hair, so I beat her up."-Lauren A.
"Does anybody ever eat your loins?"-me
"I was wondering where that cheese was coming from."-Mary
"I don't have any rash, okay!"-Lauren A.
"You jostled my brain."-Liz
"Someone splashed acid on my eyeballs."-Liz
"Maybe it was that ginko!"-Ms. Spenello
"Gimme all your geritol!"-Mr. Larkin
"High-jack a depends truck."-Mr. Larkin
"You bastard, stop being a bitch!"-Liz
"I smell like sulpher."-Justin Smith
"I wanna play with your wire!"-Karl Bower
"That's my intestine."-Annabell
"Her Homer Homer."-Liz
"Don't mess with Maria!"-me
"Mrs. Weidman, you have chalk on your nice, sexy butt."-Ms. Bower
"There is nothing like puking with somebody to make you into old friends."-Sylvia Plath
"I got the next toilet, everybody."-Liz
"I don't believe there are any clocks in France."-Summar
"You're not a Virgin Mary in that; you look like a virgin whore!"-Alicia
"I wear diapers, too!"-Liz
"The ginko stole it?"-Ms. Spenello
"That's pretty shiny for an anal probe!"-John (my bro)
"I'm 140 pounds of dynamite!"- Jon Stewart
"You're sitting in a public good."-Mr. Larkin
"JFK can be a chunk."-Mr. Dannible, psychology teacher
"I'm getting on crack here."-Steve Restless
"That's even dumb!"-my mom
"This corn tastes like crap."-Mary
"What are chunks?"-Mr. Dannible
"My father is sexually abusing me."-Mr. Dannible
"Something interesting I found interesting...."-some girl in Duansburg
"There's a ferret in there."-Mr. Ruland
"I have a goiter in my pants!"-Alicia
"Midgets find me attractive."-Liz
"You guys, I'm thinking they can't hear us."-Lauren A.
"Cobleskill, can you see my ELMO?"-Mr. Dannible
"I want to rape a woman."-Mr. Dannible
"I'm a loser."-Mr. Dannible
"I'm going to Brent's today; I can't be all chapped."-Mary
"There's nothing like a good batch of eskimo semen to make you feel better."-Liz
"The nurse is open."-Mary
"See if you can get anymore crackers!"-Ms. Spenello
"dumpin'"-Mr. Dannible
"Do you have any spare shit I could eat?"-some "Coping" books vandalizer
"And remember, if I'm holding a pineapple, it means abort."-Michael J. Fox
"JFK can lick my crotch."-Alicia
"Bend down, and take your pants off."-me
"I can't find my underwear!"-Alicia
"Do you have worms, Mary?"-me
"We just regular folk, aint nobody crazy here."-guy in some video (Denzel Washington?)
"I'm gonna look at the wall."-Erik
"I have gums above my teeth."-Alicia
"Somethin's oinions!"-Marcia
"Now, let's take a look at these two curves."-Mr. Dannible
"I like the running weiner."-Jeremy Shepherd
"You can't play around with what sex you are."-Mrs. Payne
"Do you want my cherry?"-Sarah W
"Tonight, I'm gonna party like it's 199999999999999."-Steve Restless
"I think there's a plan I'm not missing."-Juliana
"In Pavement's picture, you can see his monkey. No, the head of the monkey. It's hanging from his pants!"-Alicia
"Your Viking Dan is sticking out."-me
"Prince stabbed me in the ass."-Alicia
"My asshole's doing weird stuff."-Alicia
"I'm Herpes, the god of oozing, pussy, sexual wounds."-Alicia
"Don't throw my nuts."-me
"You gotta sniss?"-my mom
"It smells like it stinks."-my mom
"Where's my bowl?"-me
"When I wake up... I will go downstairs."-Sara (my sis)
"That's damned good fudge!"-John (my bro)
"My knees down are hot. Except for my feet... that's pretty limited."-Sara (my sis)
"The goal is to get all my buttons."-Eric (my bro)
"My weiner has a first name... it's weiner!"-John (my bro)
"I highly doubt your weasels will be attacked."-Steve Restless
"Shaun wonders why he has to piss, even though he is dead."-Odd Shaun
"You can't hurt my nuts."-Odd Shaun
"He's happy that he's having a bowel movement."-Liz
"We're happy when my grandma has a bowel movement."-Alicia
"Would you eat tapeworm?"-Andrew Tryon
"I dreamt people were laughing at my legs."-Andrew Tryon
"Cave food. Ewww."-Jake Holmes
"Don't leave your brains in Puerto Rico!"-Papa Leon
"See my nipple?"-Mike Hampel
"30 is more than 20, more than 20."-a crazy man in Puerto Rico
"Hey ladies! Get your weirdness away from me!"-what I think a homeless man yelled at Sarah W. and I
"I need to be assassinated."-Steve Roscoe
"Boces would know."-Ms. Spenello
"We're using our children as sexual toys."-Reverand Flip Benham, national director of Operation Rescue
"I eat my dinner on a plate. It is flat."-Mr. Dannible
"Sock you in the nose!"-Mr. Dannible
"I am sexist. I'm sorry."-Mr. Dannible
"Jeremy, you are very limber."-Carla Cater
"The excretion unit is working properly."-Steve Roscoe
"I need someone who's not afraid to suck."-Ricky Martin
"You better have a lot of room for Carl Jung!"-Mr. Dannible
"I play with my dogs."-Mr. Dannible
"Some of us aren't the brightest bulbs in the lamp."-Mr. Dannible
"You can't misplace Cuba!"-Liz
"He has hips of fire!"-Liz
"Me lickee lick Jenn."-Alicia
"I peed just now!"-Alicia
"Karl, do you want my sausage?"-Billy Saucy
"Oh! You just ate nature's laxative!"-Sarah R
"If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down."-Sarah R's grandmother
"I do love YM."-Andy
"Did you see Jeremy's monkeys?"-Annabell
"That's the biggest I've ever seen!"-me
"Take care of your donut, will you?"-Ms. Spenello
"Aladdin is a chinky chink."-Alicia
"Eat your tators and slaw, bitch!"-Liz
"Whip me, beat me, thrill me, you silly savage."-Doc, Spanish professor
"Dogs excrete their own food and entertainment."-me
"Either you're a vampire monkey, or we're not alone."-cartoon Ace Ventura
"I'll throw a booger at you that's 40 pounds."-John (my bro)
"If you don't know where your own hole is, then you have a problem."-Scott Rigney
"Wanna probe me?"-Larry, philosophy professor
"They nuke their buns?"-me
"Jews... they like 'em!"-Alicia
"I'm gonna lick all the places."-Alicia
"I just lost control of my bodily functions."-Alicia
"Seeing Pikachu bitchslap itself for two minutes is just too funny."-Dr. Indeed
"If I lost 20 pounds, I could get into Liz's pants."-Jill
"Your horoscope said you'd be a faggot; it told me!"-Alicia
"Don't move John, it's poised to strike!"-KC
"Why the fuck don't I like butter?"-Alicia
"Oh my god, it's a Friendly's milkshake!"-Sarah W
"I put the flame out with my ass."-Andy
"My ass is a heater."-Alicia
"When I saw the nuts, I got distracted."-Sarah W
"Oh, I should cover your nuts."-me
"Don't you speak sign language?"-Alicia
"You bent my bucket!"-me
"Nothing's in this one!"-KC, looking into the filter side of a cig
"I like champagne, but not up my ass!"-Chris Rock
"I bake my crack in my pies!"-Chris Rock
"I'm a gay gay strip dancer."-Ben Afleck
"Food equals dogs to drool!"-Mr. Dannible
"Beeep! The door opens."-Mr. Dannible
"Do we wanna do people?"-Mr. Dannible
"I like 'em salty."-Lauren A.
"Beating up the Bobo doll is a bad thing."-Mr. Dannible
"I want pleasure now!"-Mr. Dannible
"Hey, I'm Captain Acid."-Jay Leno
"If his toilet seat is faulty, I'm gonna pee on it."-John R.
"We haven't got TV, but we got my feet!"-KC
"I'm a hunting machine with a blow dryer pointed at my butt."-KC
"Would somebody mind pulling my ass?"-KC
"Ow, my zipper's hot!"-KC
"It kind of puts you in a trance, only in your butt."-KC
"When Nixon came into office, how did people's bowels respond?"-Jon Stewart
"Bears are cute, but the cutest bears are high."-Conan O' Brien
"I'm gonna go in there and piss on the floor! Hey, thanks for the soda!"-John (my bro)
"I aint gonna fart on no snare drum."-Adam Sandler
"Don't mess with the Hamburglar. He is crazy!"-Conan O' Brien
"I'd pay to see your shoe naked."-Conan O' Brien
"Yummy yummy yummy, I got chummy in my tummy."-Alicia
"I just threw away my arm!"-Triumph, the insult comic dog
"I so want that horse to chew on my scrotum."-Richard (Snowball 67)
"I want red pecker."-Jay Leno
"We need a governor that's against scurvy."-Hal Sparks
"Let's face it; I bring the sex."-Conan O' Brien
"My feet are gonna goo!"-Rigley
"Fish is a good source of fish."-Ryan
"I wanna cure cancer, nah, screw that; I wanna do something pretty."-Rigley
"What's with the fuckin' rainsins?"-me
"Ever since Firestarter, no government experiments for me!"-Liz
"I shouldn't scare fruit!"-Conan O' Brien
"I like being the carrier monkey."-Liz
"Gotta be 21 to buy bread!"-Dr. Muriad, biology professor
"For the love of science, drink another beer!"-Dr. Muriad
"I love grass."-Prof. Butler
"Thinking is very hard work."-Dr. Sheehan, English professor
"I want red for blood!"-Dr. Muriad
"What was he gonna say? No? I had a big needle comin' at him."-Dr. Muriad
"Does poop ring a bell?"-Jim Carrey
"I bet Wolverine would be a devil in the sack!"-Andy
"Is there a sexy mutant power?"-Andy
"There's nothing to run into in space. Except like a star. I think I'd see that one coming."-Andy
"Matt Damon's crotch should be huge."-Andy
"one time i had pink boogers, no idea why though, i was worried that my brains were leaking out but it went away"-Nutt
"i eat maggot pudding"-Nutt
"fudge goes in and fudge comes out"-Nutt
"whenever i eat in public i think of you and laugh"-Nutt
"her rump is unmovable"-Nutt
"my dad just came by and shoved some pork in my mouth"-Nutt
"i'm hoping to be able to sleep again"-Summar
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