Due to an overwhelming demand for "cool questions about beating goats," I have created a new
survey for my own amusement.
1) Who is the most well-known goat-beater?
kc: I believe John-boy is, but i dont think he named it
goat...
Liz: My mom
Sarah R.: Pennetta
the Goathead Cawley!
Andy M.: I would have to say Tom Cruise
Alicia: when i was little i used to like to chew my toe nails but now i cant reach :(
Juliana: the tiny little green man who
lives inside all of your heads. you may not know him, but i assure you,
he's there and he's the most well known person in the world
2) Which would you prefer to beat: a drum, a goat, Mr. Wiggims, or the next person to enter
the room?
kc: actually i would like to beat that frigging final
fantasy game!
Liz: I would beat my poop
if it got an attitude!
Sarah R.: the next person to
enter the room because I know I'll win! (It's the
monkey down the hall, hahahaha, beat his ass
downnnnn!)
Andy M.: probably a goat, unless the next person that walked into the room WAS a goat. Is this a trick question???
Alicia: the next person to enter the room...it gonna be my dad i can hear him coming
Juliana: that is a tough call between mr. wiggims and
the next person that walks in the room. let's say the next person who walks
in if his name is mr.wiggims but i very well might beat them even if they aren't.
3) Are you thinking of Michael Jackson right now, you dirty animal?
kc: as a matter of fact...no
Liz: Yes!!! I want him to lick me bum
bum!
Sarah R.: That's info I can't let out of his
house...opps. I love him, ok!!!!!!
Andy M.: That is all I ever think about.
Honestly!! Are you a Micheal Jackson fan too?? I
thought I was the only one!!!!
Alicia: mikey mikey the motorcycle went to town with nothing on la la la uhhhhh
muMMMmmmmMmm.... pickles sexy sexy pickles ooOoOOOOoooooh
Juliana: yes. i mean no! that doesn't make me a dirty animal! who can resist
his sexy body? it takes a stronger woman than i.
4) Who is this weird guy who keeps looking at me?
kc: oh...thats just grandpa, we could lock him in the
bathroom if he's bothering you.
Liz: It's your reflection you dirty bastard!
Sarah R.: My dad
Andy M.: Pete the crooked peurto rican. He is my Gay pornstar
Alicia: if he has a camera then its the guy i am paying to watch you and film your every move
Juliana: the little gremlin that lives inside computers. maybe you
shouldn't be looking at him so much, dear.
5) Use the word "beat" in a creative sentence. Or suffer the wrath of Billy the Bungalow
Hut Monkey. Chimpanzees eat other monkeys, you know.
kc: B is for byme, the people you love
E is for evil, for one of us is the devil
A is for can o' urine, who has touched us all(except
sara and we'll fix that won't we; yee hee hee)
T is for train, as in the Hoe Train which is comin
to station an friday!
Liz: Micheal Jackson told me to
"beat it" or he would never lick me bum bum again.
Sarah R.: Beat my monkey, just beat it.
Andy M.: I like the way that the room smells after I beat the ummm, rug.
Alicia: i like to beat my meat its neat!!! and do i get extra points because it sounds all sexy?!
Juliana: hmmm... i wish i could BEAT the shit out of one of those goats from the
three billy goats gruff' right now. (you know that story right? the one
with the troll and the bridge? i'm not making it up!)
6) And finally, if you had a monkey, or have recently aquired one, what would you do with it?
kc: I would hug it, and squeeze it, and name it
george...not really, i hate monkeys... sorry
Liz: I had a monkey but I spanked
him so he ran away and joined the Marines.
Sarah R.: Spank it
Andy M.: First I would buy him an Ice cream cone, then get him to sing "the song that never ends." Then if he liked the transformers cartoon, I'd use another ice cream cone to lure him into my big white van. And then I'd shave him and smear him with honey, and leave him at my Grandma's house, because that's where I'd leave all my cool stuff. Then I'd go home and watch Michael Jackson.
Alicia: it involves little monkey hand cuffs and a little monkey whip and an outfit with wings so i can pretend he can fly whooooooooo weeeeeee yeah baby ooOOOOOooooHhhh
Juliana: fuck it. what a stupid question. what else can anyone
do with a monkey?
Thank you for participating in the Census 2000 questionnaire. Now the government will know what to do with its money.
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