Finding the Path

Buck Cross arrived back from his ride with a heavy heart. He had just come from a two day trip to Junction Falls, delivering some sort of "important" message for Teaspoon. However, as he had left, it turned out that the letter he had delivered had been nothing more than a request for some new supplies that weren't really in need.

It gave Buck the feeling he really wasn't wanted around the station anymore.

But then again, Buck couldn't blame him. Ike had died only three months ago, but it still hurt him everyday. He didn't talk to anyone about it, and he knew he had a tendency to snap at people now and then. He really didn't mean it, but he just needed time.

Buck quickly tied off his horse and headed towards the bunkhouse, hoping there was still some dinner left for him. It wasn't a good day for him already. He was hungry and tired from the run. But what made today worse, though, was that it was ten years ago that he and Ike had become friends. He remembered the day clearly, because it was also his --

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

Buck stumbled backwards from the door as everyone in the room started to laugh. The bunkhouse had been decorated in streamers and balloons, and a big cake was on the table. All the riders were gathered around, wearing little hats and smiling.

"Happy Birthday, Buck," Rachel said, giving the young man a hug. She then placed a party hat on his head and led him to the table.

"How did you guys know?" Buck asked.

"We have our ways of knowing these things," Lou replied, stepping over the Buck and hugging him.

"And we felt you needed something to cheer up with," Kid added, slapping Buck on his back.

"We were getting' tired of your moodiness," Hickok finished.

"Thanks guys," Buck said. "I really appreciate it."

"Enough with the talkin' and lets eat this cake before it melts from all the candles!" Cody piped in. Everyone laughed, and they started singing, and Buck blew out his candles.

Later that night, after everyone had their fair share of cake and gone to bed, Buck stepped out of the bunkhouse and sat on the porch. From his pocket, he pulled out one of Ike's bandana's that he always carried. He let his mind drift back into memories from the past, thinking about times he and Ike spent together.

"Are you ok, Buck?" Lou walked out from the bunkhouse, a blanket wrapped around her body.

Buck turned to face her. She had gotten so beautiful since she dropped her male fasciae, that Buck sometimes found her so striking to look at. He also found that he couldn't hide anything from her anymore.

"Just thinking of Ike," Buck admitted. "It's a special day."

"Really?" Lou sat down next to Buck.

"Ten years ago was the first day we met."

Lou took in a breath, realizing the pain he might be feeling. "Care to share the story?"

Buck looked up at the stars, thumbing Ike's bandana while he thought back. "It all started back before I even went to the mission…"

By the outskirts of an Indian village, a ten year old Buck stood staring at the stars with his older half-brother, Red Bear.

"Running Buck, what do you see in those stars?" Red Bear asked the young boy.

"I see darkness, but with tiny points of light," Buck answered.

Red Bear looked back up at the stars. He was only a few years older, but he was amazed at what Buck was not taught yet. "The stars are guides for us. They show us pathways, ways to go home. And not just our longhouse, but to the final home we all seek to go. Our lives are written up there, but only we can read it."

"Will I learn to read them, Red Bear?" Buck asked, his young eyes sparking like the stars he stared at.

"You live in the land of the white man," Red Bear replied, and Buck could hear something in his voice that was different… like it was wrong. "The white man does not see what we Kiowa see. If you look through your white man eyes, you will not. Yet, if you look with your Kiowa eyes, the path home they will show you."

Red Bear had left Buck to stare at those stars for a long time, then shook his head. He knew his half brother would never see what he saw, but he loved seeing Buck try. It let him know that there was at least a part of him still with their tribe. And, Red Bear hoped he'd hold onto that.

* * * * *

"Years later, Red Bear retold that story to me. It made me remember my fascination with the stars from that day on…"

* * * * *

A twelve year old Buck stood outside the mission, staring up at the stars. For two years now, he had been watching the stars, memorizing their positions, and seeing the shapes they made when you connected certain ones. Red Bear told him it was part of learning to find the way "home". At school, it was called astrology.

Buck was so engaged into the stars that he didn't hear the three men who were stumbling past the mission gates.

"Hey breed…" one whispered from the shadows. Buck sighed, but kept his eyes upwards.

"Breed! When I call you, you answer, you hear!"

"Aw, he can't understand you… he don't speak English." Another voice taunted, and laughter followed. "Try this. How, running fox. We speak English. We smart. You understand?"

"I understand that I don't answer to taunts, and my name's not Running Fox, or… breed," Buck lowered his head, letting a deep anger fill onto that last word. He hated being taunted for being half-Kiowa, but the word "breed" always left a special distaste in his mouth.

"Wow, the Indian can talk! Come here, boy."

"No." Buck returned his gaze to the stars.

"What do you mean, no? Come here now!" The man's voice filled with anger.

"I don't approach strangers," Buck replied. "Especially ones who have no respect for me."

"Don't make me come in there after you… breed."

Buck, let the rising anger steel within him, but he kept his gaze upwards. He heard a howl of anger, then the sound of two pairs of feet coming at him. Quickly he looked down and saw the silhouettes of the two men approach him. The first man was very short, but boxy with a lot of muscle. The second one was tall, but had a good sized beer belly. Buck knew instantly that he was outmatched, and tried to make a run for it to the mission door.

Suddenly, a third man appeared behind him and placed a hand on the boy's shoulders. "You aren't going anywhere, breed." He was tall too, but also was very fit and the grip on buck's shoulders let him know of the man's strength.

Rage filled Buck, and before he knew what he did, he took a swing at the man's face and connected with a solid punch to his jaw. The man backwheeled a bit, and held onto his face. Buck, however, stood his ground, knowing it was no use running.

"You want to fight, little Indian?" the big man said. "Then I'll be the first to give you a lesson you'll never forget." The man got into a fighting position, and Buck knew the other two men gathered around them.

Right away the fists came flying. Buck knew a bit about self defense from Red Bear, but this man was too good for him. He was able to block one or two, but soon some started to get through, then more, then more, until Buck lost his footing and fell onto the ground.

Suddenly, the punches stopped. Buck looked up and saw something unbelievable. Standing above him, fists held up in defense, was the mute kid, Ike McSwain. Buck had seen him around the mission, and had heard stories of how he was a monster, and that he had lost his hair because of a magic spell that took away his voice as well. Buck didn't believe them, but he stayed away from Ike just in case.

Yet, now, here he was, defending him. Maybe the kid wasn't that bad after all. Buck decided that he would get to know Ike better. That was, if they survived this fight.

"Get out of here, dummy." The man looked down at Ike, but Ike kept his green eyes on him. The short man came and grabbed Ike, but he wrenched his arm away and pointed at Buck, then the mission.

"You want to take him home?" The short man taunted. Ike nodded. "Well, you'll just have to wait a minute while we finish talking." The man reached for Ike again, and pulled the kid towards him. Ike, however, didn't like that and kicked the man in the stomach. He doubled over in pain, and released Ike. Ike quickly reached down to help Buck to his feet.

"That does it," The tall, fat man shouted, and he charged at the boys. Buck and Ike quickly jumped out of the way, but Ike found himself backed against the tall, muscle man, and was hit from behind, and fell to the ground. Buck ran over and jumped on top of the man, and started to try and choke him. The man laughed, then flipped Buck onto the ground.

With the boys both on the ground, the man decided to stop toying with the kids and just beat them. Kicking seemed to be the best resort, and both boys got a good load of kicks and scrapes.

"STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!"

All three men looked up as the voice of a nun broke the silence of the night. From the doors of the mission, two nuns and a priest stood, watching in horror. Finally, they approached, and the men began to retreat. "Just let that be a lesson to you boys. No one likes a dummy and a half-breed in this world." With that, the three men disappeared into the night.

The nuns came to the boys and picked them up and carried them into the mission. They tried to sooth them with words of wisdom, but Buck had learned his own lesson. I might live in the white man's world, but I'm not really fully on of them. I understand difference better, and live with it.

* * * * * *

"So, you and Ike got the stuffing beaten out of you two," Lou asked, hugging her knees to her chest.

"More than that. I had a few broken ribs, and Ike fractured his arm," Buck had to laugh. "But we survived, and from that day on, we never parted. I started teaching Ike Kiowa sign, and he now had a way to communicate."

Lou yawned and stood up, stretching. "Well, Buck, it's getting pretty late, and I know I need some sleep. You comin'?"

"In a minute," Buck replied. Lou nodded, gave him a hug, then walked into the bunkhouse.

Sitting by himself, Buck looked up into the stars…

* * * * * *

"Buck, why do you always stare at the stars at night?" Ike signed one night, sitting outside on the mission stairs with Buck.

"Because they teach me how to find my way home, Ike," Buck replied.

"Do you think if I look hard enough, I could find my way home too?"

"If you try hard enough, Ike. If you try. But I think we both know the way to there ourselves."

© 2000 By Alison Sky

All characters are part of the TV series YOUNG RIDERS and all their copyrights apply. Please do not distribute without permission.

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