I went out driving for the first time last night. Mom took me into the backroads and handed the keys to me. My mom isn't a very parient person but I was proud of her last night for not raising her voice once. If you could've taped her half of the conversation, though, it would've been quite funny. It sounded kinda like this:
Ok, Lisa, here we go. Is there anything behind you? Good. Pull off the side of the road... I don't want you going faster than 30.
Stay away from the shoulder.
Lisa, get away from the side of the road.
How fast are you going?
You're going toward the side of the road again.
You've gotta give it some gas to get up the hill.
NOT THAT MUCH!!!
You've got a curve up here.
Get back in your lane.
Don't worry about the damn birds.
Get away from the side of the road.
Get away from the goddamn shoulder, Lisa!
Pull over so the people behind you can pass.
Don't hit the kid on the bike or the mailbox.
Not the runner either.
Anything behind you?
Pull over and let that guy pass.
Why do you keep going to the shoulder?
Hey, you know guardrails do damage.
There's a stop sign up ahead. You're going to turn right.
Easy on the breaks!!!
Pull over and let me drive.
Wednesday, June 9, 1999
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