LONGEST WORD IN WEBSTER'S DICTIONARY
TEDDY BEARS
IN HONOR OF THE NEW MILLENIUM
REGARDING APRIL FOOL'S DAY:
ANAGRAMS, WIERDLY ENOUGH:
NOW FOR SOMETHING DIFFERENT:
CANDIDATE A:
CANDIDATE B:
CANDIDATE C:
PICK YOUR VOTE AND THEN SCROLL TO THE BOTTOM OF THE PAGE....
DR PEPPER
The Ironic Story of Ronald Opus
If anyone deserves the Darwin Award it is Ronald Opus for the way in which he engineered his own death: A true story from Associated Press, by Kurt Westervelt.
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pneumonoultramicroscopicsilacolvolcanoconiosis-
It is a disease (a.k.a. Coal Miner's Disease, or Black Lung Disease) caused by the inhalation of fine silicate or quartz dust.
ONLY IN AMERICA...
Named for President Teddy Roosevelt, the Teddy Bear was
introduced in 1903. Roosevelt was hunting in Mississippi and his hosts trapped a bear cub for him to shoot. The President refused to kill it, and the Washington Star newspaper carried a cartoon (November 18th 1902)of the President choosing not to shoot the cub. Morris Michtom, a toy store owner, made toy bears and displayed them in the window of his store, along side of a copy of the cartoon. They sold well and Michtom asked the president's permission to use his name. Roosevelt agreed and refused any compensation. Sales of the toy took off and launched the maker, Morris Michtom, into starting Ideal Toy Company.
"In Scotland, April Fools Day is 48 hours long. The second day is called Taily Day and is dedicated to pranks involving the buttocks. Taily Day's gift to posterior posterity is the still-hilarious 'Kick Me' sign." Click HERE for more info on April Fools Day (plus some cool things to do.)
Eleven plus two = Twelve Plus One
Dormitory = Dirty Room
Desperation = A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code = Here Come Dots
Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler
A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake
Semolina = Is No Meal
Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's
I got this in an email, and I thought is was cool. Read about each candidate, and then decide who you would vote for, then go to the very bottom of this page to see who the Candidates are. Ready?
Charles Alderton, a pharmacist from Texas, created a soft drink and named it after his prospective father-in-law Dr. Charles Kenneth Pepper. The doctor was unimpressed, so Alderton dropped the period after the abbreviation for doctor, and made his fortune with "DR PEPPER."
On March 23, 1994, the medical examiner viewed the body of Ronald Opus and concluded that he died from a shotgun wound to the head. The decedent had jumped from the top of a ten story building intending to commit suicide.
He left a note to that effect indicating his despondency. As he fell past the ninth floor his life was interrupted by a shotgun blast passing through a window, which killed him instantly. Neither the shooter nor the decedent was aware that a safety net had been installed just below at the eighth floor level to protect some building workers and that Ronald Opus would not have been able to complete his suicide the way he had planned.
Ordinarily, Dr. Mills continued, "A person who sets out to commit suicide and ultimately succeeds, even though the mechanism might not be what he intended" is still defined as committing suicide. That Mr. Opus was shot on the way to certain death nine stories below at street level, but that his attempt probably would not have been successful do to the safety net, caused the medical examiner to feel that he had a homicide on his hands.
The room on the ninth floor from whence the shotgun blast emanated was occupied by an elderly man and his wife. They were arguing vigorously, and he was threatening her with a shotgun. The man was so upset that when he pulled the trigger he completely missed his wife and the pellets went through the window striking Mr. Opus. When one intends to kill subject A, but kills subject B in the attempt, one is guilty of the murder of subject B. When confronted with the murder charge, the old man and his wife were both adamant. They both said that they though the shotgun was unloaded.
The old man said it was his long standing habit to threaten his wife with an unloaded shotgun. He had no intention to murder her. Therefore, the killing of Mr. Opus appeared to be an accident, that is, the gun had been accidentally loaded.
The continuing investigation turned up a witness who saw the old couple's son loading the shotgun about 6 weeks prior to the fatal accident. It transpired that the old lady had cut off her son's financial support and the son, knowing the propensity of his father to use the shotgun threateningly, loaded the gun with the expectationthat his father would shoot his mother.
The case now becomes one of murder on the part of the son for the death of Ronald Opus. Now comes the bizarre twist. Further investigation revealed that the son was in fact Ronald Opus. He had become increasingly despondent over the failure of his attempt to engineer his mother's murder. This led him to jump off the ten story building on March 23rd, only to be killed by a shotgun blast passing through the ninth story window.
The son had actually murdered himself so the medical examiner closed the case as a suicide.
WHO DID YOU CHOOSE?
