THINGS TO PONDER

Did it ever occur to you that we park in a driveway but drive on a parkway?

If the Titanic sank after hitting an iceberg, why didn't the people just climb onto the iceberg?

Why do 24 hour stores have locks on their doors?

Why are gas station bathrooms always locked, yet the door to the office with the cash register is usually wide open?

If someone with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is it a hostage situation?

Wouldn't you think big cities would have an emergency phone number 119 just in case someone with dyslexia has an emergency?

At a bookstore, should you ask where the self-help section is, or would that just defeat the purpose?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which one have you done?

Do crematoriums give discounts to burn victims?

Why do Frankfurters come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of eight?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is it a pair of pants if you only have one?

And what is half a pair of scizzors, is it a single sizz?

Is there another word for synonym?

And why isn't phonetics spelled the way it sounds?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Why do they put Braille on bank drive-thru windows?

Why do they bother to sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why are there interstates in Hawaii?

And does anyone know why sheep don't shrink when it rains?

Ever wonder how the guy who drives the snowplow gets to work?

And finally, all over the city there are signs saying "no standing bus stop". Well if you can't stand, how do you wait for the bus?