February 24th, 1969

This is day three of life without Yoko. John had stayed with me, not yet willing to go back to Ringo’s apartment. He was too upset to see the film of Yoko, I did not blame him. I was too upset to see it. John mainly stayed in bed all day, he did not eat, he barely talked. When he did talk it was barely a sentence, if I was lucky it was two. The man was in pain. He threw up the meals I did get him to eat. He was emotionally and physically weak, he was suffering for something he could not have helped.

When he asked me to stay with him and sleep in the same bed I wondered why. I mean, one would think that he would not want to be around other girls since Yoko passed on. So I asked him, the only reply I got was “I need you”. That made me smile a little. I knew that he would not try to actually sleep with me, (you know what I mean) because that was not what he was like. He wanted moral and emotional support, and I would do almost anything to give him that support.

In bed occasionally he would cling to me, like a child to his mother. Sometimes during the night he would wake up screaming. He said that he was having nightmares that he was falling off a building to his death. I would have to calm him down and tell him that everything was going to be alright, like my mother did whenever I had a nightmare.

When you looked into his eyes they had no life in them, every sparkle was gone. Every glimmer of hope had left his mind. It seemed like he was dying because of her.

Feb 24th around 10:00 am.

I grabbed the phone and rang George. I knew he would know what to do to help John.

“Hello?” came a deep voice, too smooth to be George’s.

“Hello, Is Mr. Harrison there?”

“May I tell him who’s calling?” said the polite british voice.

“Yes, would you please tell him that this Jayne Robinson.” I rambled off the formaility.

“Certainly, hold on a second.” I heard a couple of muffled words and a few seconds of silence.

“Hello, Jayne? This is George, what’s wrong?”

“It’s John. He won’t eat, he doesn’t do anything but sleep. He wakes up with nightmares, screaming in the middle of the night. He can’t keep anything in his stomach, he doesn’t speak much at all....”

“Slow down, girl. I can’t understand half of what your saying. Now, what is going on?”

“I think John’s dying.”

“Why do you think that?” he was puzzled by my comment.

“He is withdrawing himself from the world. He has these terrible nightmares where he is falling off a building to his death. He wakes up screaming and hysterical because of them. He won’t eat, and when I do get him to he just throws it up. He’s been running a fever, he just stays in bed all day. I don’t know what to do George, I need your help. Has anything like this happened to him before??”

“I don’t think so, but I’d better check.... hold on” another period of muffled words. It was another minute or so before he came back to talk to me again. “I take it back, he was withdrawn and angry when his mother died, and the same thing happened with Stu.”

“But he hasn’t been angry..... just real withdrawn and quiet.”

“Well, maybe as he gets older he is expressing his anger in other ways instead of anger.”

“That would explain his nightmares and the fever. Do you remember what helped him through it? Maybe it could help now.”

“No, I think he just picked up his guitar and put his anger into that, but since he isn’t angry I dunno what could help. What is he doing right now?”

“Sleeping, thank god. Would you mind coming over here? He could use another friend.”

“Even better, I’ll bring someone along with me. Is five o’clock okay with you?”

“Yeah, I just hope this helps him. I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah, well I hope so too. Oh, by the way what are the directions to your house from the city center of Liverpool?” I proceeded to give him directions to the flat, “Well, we’ll see you at five. Ta.”

“Yeah, bye.” I slowly hung up the phone and went to check on John. He was still asleep, and peacefully at that. That gave me some time to clean up the flat. It needed to be cleaned badly, especially in what was now John’s room. I quickly set off to get some work done. I decided that I would wake John up at four, that way he could get as much sleep as possible.

I was curious about something George said, he said he was bringing someone else with him. Maybe it was Patty. Also who was that other person he kept talking to, and who was the mystery voice on the phone at George’s house? Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait and see who he brings with him. I should prolly ask him about the other person, could just be the butler. But George did not have a butler, he was still in the little cottage by the house. Hmm... this is proving to be interesting.