Paul's Love Goes Too Far
( Only read this after the first Pet stories!!)
It was a horrible thing, Paul WAS fat and pregnant. Such horrible thoughts ran through Ringo’s mind and he had to leave EMI. Paul reminded him so much of Muareen when she was pregnant with his children. Ringo couldn’t watch a man go through that! Ringo was called back in every so often to play a solo or something. He fought as hard as he could, but when they said they wouldn’t pay him if he didn’t, he gave in. He would sit next to Paul who was at the piano and tap on his drums. Paul was the gloomiest thing you ever saw. Dog faced and half hung over. He didn’t want this, he wanted to play the guitar and to make love to normal women! Paul looked at himself in a mirror and cried until either John or George came to comfort him. Ringo wouldn’t touch him. A pregnant person is like the most sensetive bomb in the universe! You touch ‘em and they explode. Ringo was afraid if he so much as tapped Paul on the shoulder, he would go into labor.
It drove Ringo nuts until he decided to quit temporarily. Like when he did when they were to busy with the White Album. He could take Barb to Sardinia with Pet and Ellest and let John take care of the kids (Ringo’s and Pet’s, that is). Ringo rushed home to tell Barb that they were off the next week!
Ellest had her babies two days before they left. Pet shrugged and took Ellest onto the ship that would take them away from Paul. Paul, John and George were all at the dock saying good bye to Ringo. George pet Ringo on the head, John gave him a wedgie and Ringo stared at Paul.
"Well? Don’t I get a good bye?" Paul asked sadly.
"You mean I can talk to you and you won’t hurt me? This is a change," Ringo said. He smiled and said good bye to Paul, ignoring the rest of his body. He boarded the ship and went to his room. A lovely apartment it was with a great view of the sea. Barbara unpacked while Pet and Ellest headed for the cafeteria....alone! This was a big mistake! Only several by standers had ever seen them, but a whole ship? Ringo dove after them and put them on a leash. They were the only pets on board, since they were toilet trained. Ringo smiled at Ellest grinning brightly at him. She was cute, Maureen Cox cute. Really bouncy, too. Ringo walked them to the cafeteria and ordered "Lunch". The captain had the whole cafeteria emptied so Pet and Ellest could eat until they popped. They didn’t leave a mess, or anything else for that matter. Ringo walked them back to the room and let them sleep. They nearly passed out from tiredness walking back. Ellest let Pet, as usual, lay over her back. Ringo watched the two for a while and decided to go for a walk with Barbara.
"What am I going to do with them, Barb?" Ringo asked.
"Them, them them! That’s all you ever talk about any more!" Barbara said. "I think you should put them up for sale and get three pounds for each! Pet kicks the babies out every so often, he shouldn’t care."
"But...this is their last brood!"
"Good ridence! We’ve been paying for them, feeding them and taking care of them more than that Ellest has! I say she should go too!"
"Barbara!"
"I’m serious, Richard! I’ve had enough! I want to use that money to shop and go places, not fill their stomachs!" She crossed her arms. "Richard?"
"No!"
"Get..."
"I won’t!"
"Rid of them!!!" She stormed to the pool area without him and he stood sad and lonely.
"I won’t. I can’t. I...." He had to....
He went back to his room and saw Pet and Ellest cuddling, yet awake. He smiled at them and sat at the end of the bed to face them. Pet and Ellest sat up and looked at him.
"I....You...Barb...oh! Barb wants me to get rid of you!" Ringo spat out.
"Why?" Pet said calmly.
"She thinks we spend too much money on you."
"Yes, but....I see...What do you suggest? Selling us?"
"Never! Not in a million years!"
"We can just run away when we get home or jump over board..."
"I can’t! Something keeps telling me that you will come in handy!"
"I think we should discuss it when we get home. There’s nothing we can do here. Let’s enjoy the time, shall we?" Ringo nodded. He put Pet and Ellest on leashes and went to the pool with them. Barb was at the pool oiling herself. Ringo had on some dorky Hawaiian shirt and black shorts. He took his shirt off and dove in. The grabbed Pet and Ellest’s ankles and pulled them in. He went to Barb and smiled. She looked down.
"Come in, lovey," Ringo said. The chlorine wasn’t doing his eyes any good. She looked to see Pet and Ellest coming out and shaking off.
"Later, Richard," she said and continued oiling herself.
Ringo returned home with a smirk and Barbara counting how much money had been picketed off them in Sardinia. Pet and Ellest and the other ones raced home, they knew the way, while Ringo walked with the rest of the Beatles, who were there, back to EMI, to finish recording. Barb took the car and went home. Ringo, while on his way into John’s rolls, noticed how much pain Paul was in.
"Is it....?" Ringo asked. Paul shook his head.
"Its having a tiny waist enlarged too fast and too much," Paul said. He had grown some more, but it had been over four weeks. Poor Paul. They drove to EMI where Ringo was welcomed back by all the staff and people there.
"So what have you guys been doing since I was gone?" Ringo asked. John sat him at the drums.
"Just play the tune we play, like always," John said. "Did you lose your memory?"
"N..No, but I’m losing Pet and Ellest." Paul stood up.
"What? No! You can’t! I’m not keeping these! You’re going to have to take em!" Paul shouted. He cringed some more and fell back into his place. "Oh! Guys....It hurts!"
"When did it not?" George asked smiling.
"Seriously! I think...I think...." Everyone looked at him for a brief moment in worry. "Yup...." They dove into places and grabbed things. John started the car and George escorted him to the car. Ringo was left all alone in EMI at his drum kit.
"God? Did this have to happen today?" Ringo asked.
Don’t miss the next thrilling sequel:
"Ringo Faces The Truth And Barb Loses!"
This will be the last Pet story, so expect surprises and exciting twists!!!