The winter of 2000 seemed especially hard on Bud. Despite several foam beds and extra heat for his joints, there was no denying that the dog was having a hard time moving around. He seemed to lose his footing a lot when going down steps. I kept our steps shoveled and sanded to give him a better footing. I prayed for Spring! Yet, even basking in Springs warming sun could not make Bud move any easier. I was seeing into a future without my gentle giant; and I looked the other way. I always said he would tell me when he had enough of the pain and was ready to go. And, when he did, I could only whisper soon. For, you see, I couldn't let go! As Spring gave way to summer, so did the episodes of Bud loosing his footing. Sometimes he even fell. Although my eyes could clearly see what I should do, my heart could only whisper soon. It seems to me now, that things moved so fast. Bud began to fall almost daily. His pleading eyes searched mine every night and time was running out. The great probability loomed of a hip dislocation, and I knew the kind of pain that would put him in. I could no longer deny his very real pain or my own. It was time! On July 5, 2001 I talked to him about ending his pain. His great brown eyes looking into mine showed his relief. He wagged the tip of his tail. The next day, he made his last vet visit. The gentle giant, so full of love, walked to his relief without once looking back to see if I was coming with him. He walked with his head up and his tail wagging. Bud was going home!
midi~Beauty and the Beast
© Disney
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