~Deja Vu~
midi~I'm Home Again © Michael Walthius 1995

I've been here before.
Maybe the station is different,
but the buses hum and
the diesel smell are the same.
And so are the tears.

The past, and the present
play hopscotch in my memory.
And, I am, for a time,
an unwilling passenger on
an emotional rollercoaster ride.

I am seventeen again.
And, hold in my arms
the uniformed shoulders of
the one I love.

The future stretches out as vast as the heavens.
But, I only know of "here and now".
And a pain that there are no words to describe.
"If only I can hold on tight enough," I think.
"I can make the future go away!"

It doesn't happen.
For no amount of pain or tears,
can keep life at a standstill.
Or the world from turning.

My head hurts; my stomach's queasy.
My eyes burn with unshed tears.
I want this ride to stop.
I want to get off, now!
I can't take anymore.

I feel the scratchy wool
uniform jacket against my cheek.
Hold in my arms the same broad shoulders.
Feel again that damnable pain!

If I can hold on tight enough, but no!
The circle is complete.
And, I'm not seventeen.
And, the world will turn.

With all the strength
I've ever had to muster;
I let you go.
God keep you safe, my son!
© RUA 1989,1999,2001

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