Dubious Dan:
Vice President

On November 11 1999 the United States scored a new low in its political and moral fibre when President William Jefferson "slick willy" Clinton faced fewer than 100 on-lookers at Arlington Cemetary and lauded Veterans for a sacrifice "he won’t repay." He brought the stoic Presidential guard to a chuckle when he urged US troops to make "greater sacrifices in the cause of freedom."

Slick Willie owes his peculiar place in the American imagination to one man who paved his way: J Danford Quayle.

Dan ‘Dopey Dan’ was born in 1947. He was elected to the house and senate on President Regan’s coattails. Despite the lack of serious legislation attributed to him he was selected to run for Vice-President with President George Bush at the head of the ticket.

Nothing would have come of his draft-dodging in the Vietnam War except that Dan opted to urge militarism and extreme right wing views in the campaign. Conservatives regarded him suspiciously.

As the Bush administration muddled over the course of the transformation of America from its the factory culure into the cyber-age, Quayle became more stridently conservative in tone. Conservatives accused Quayle of insulting them through paradoy.

Political Schism:
Quayle Divides Party

Despite Dan’s pretense to a Mr Clean image, strange circumstances were whispered concerning the confinement in isolation of a federal inmate sentenced for selling drugs.

When President Bush clashed with Iraq, Dan Quayle strongly supported the war effort. It was known in the capitol that a major part of the right wing disagreed. Bush reassured the right, "this is not a Jewish war" and sent Dan about to parrot right-wing militarism. Dan’s speech to the troops, to make greater strides in the cause of freedom, made him the laughing stock of the right-wing; liberals and conservatives alike shared a long laugh at Quayle.

The right wing was still smarting over the war and Dan Quayle when news started to percolate of the gangland execution at Ruby Ridge by FBI agents of a farm family suspected of anti-semetic sentiments. President Bush's clumsy attempts to squelch news of the outrage enraged the right.

Although the administration and the polsters claimed a 80-90% approval rating for President Bush and the Gulf War, Bush in 1992 now had to face real numbers. Defection of the right wing from Republican ranks lurked as an ominous possibility. Yet, the extent of the defection shocked even President Bush. Republican voters in New Hampshire would have chosen an unknown newspaper columnist over the President.

Out of power:
Out of Luck

By the time of the Republican convention the extent of Dan’s liability to the Republican ticket was obvious. Yet Dan could not be replaced with one more palatable to the right-wing. Most of Bush’s campaign was focused on a defense of Quayle’s draft dodging. "He didn't run away to Canada; he didn't burn a flag," Bush defended his unwanted running mate.

Throughout the capaign both Bush and Quayle tried to breeze through with a little flag waving. Right wing audience were cool. "Put that thing away," catcallers greeted Quayle.

When the votes were counted, the team of Bush and Quayle had scored less than a third of the ballots, becoming the worst Republican candidates of all time. Spin doctors will make over the cause of the extent of the defeat. Dan’s semi-official on-line biography says he was the first of his kind to occupy high office. Surely Dan’s principal contribution was paving the way for Slick Willie.

In American politics with a sinister cloud descending on all public affairs such make-overs easily recur. When Bill 'Slick Willie' Clinton 'honored' the Vet, waving a flag to an empty gallery at Arlington National Cemetary, the rows of brightly uniformed soldiers from the largely ceremonial Presidential guard exceeded the spectators in the crowd. "More people watched Clinton," snickered an unnamed aide, "burn a flag in Red Square during an anti-Vietnam War protest." President Clinton however successfully avoided comment on the irony that the former war-protester today waved flags to empty bleechers at Arlington.