Author: Emily
Email: DoylesPrincess@aol.com
Disclaimer: All characters belong to Joss Whedon, etc...even though he may not deserve them at times cuz he's just not nice with them... :-)
Rating: Nothing worse than the show, probably a PG...
NOTES: This takes place during "Passion" from the different character's points of view , the change in character is indicated by the large breaks in the paragraphs...kinda confusing, but anyway - I kinda changed the way things happened, just to make me happy. It's kinda sad - after a year, I'm still in denial over the whole "Jenny died" thing... oh well -
I had been laying there for what seemed like forever - I couldn't move, my body was completely paralyzed. I hated Angel for what he was doing to Rupert. He couldn't just leave me there waiting for him... but what could I do to change his mind? Absolutely nothing. I didn't exactly want my dying thoughts to be of hatred for this creature who had attempted to kill me -
What if I had done things differently? I was only trying to help, to right my many wrongs. Maybe I shouldn't have been so selfish. Maybe if I had just accepted the fact that I had lied for so long, that it was something that couldn't be forgiven - I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have worked so late - if I had just gone home, worked on it there... so many things I could've changed - but I never took the chance, never had a second thought about what I was doing.
I can feel myself fading - I was beginning to lose consciousness. The lights began to fade around me. I don't want to die. It wasn't my time. I didn't really know what to expect, only the fear was surrounding me... but still I waited. I wasn't going to let go yet. I was waiting for him to come back - for Rupert to come home. He was expecting me there - so why wasn't he there yet?
I began to worry, worry about things I really shouldn't have been at that moment. But then I heard it - the click of the door downstairs. I wanted to cry out - "I'm up here!" but I couldn't. No sound would come from my throat - I didn't really expect to be able to talk, did I? And what was taking so long for him to get upstairs? But he didn't expect me to be there yet - or maybe he did. I don't know. Whatever it was, the next thing I knew, I heard glass shattering. I tried to turn my head towards him, but I couldn't.
"JENNY!!!" He screamed, and I knew he had found me. But I couldn't tell him I wasn't dead just yet -
"Oh God..." He ran over to the bed and sat down on it - I don't know what it was, but I guess he could sense I was still alive -
"What happened?" He asked, you could hear the anger in his voice mixing with the sadness. Why had I done this to him? I stared back at him, unable to move, or to answer, and he brushed a strand of hair out of my face. It was the little things like that I was going to miss the most -
"I'll call an ambulance..." He said, calmer, trying to get the situation under control. Maybe they'd be able to save me...
**********
I ran through the doors of the hospital, Willow and Xander quickly behind me. My mom parking my car. How could my Angel do this? No - it wasn't Angel... then why hadn't I been able to kill him? I was too weak - I was still in love with what used to be...
I searched frantically around the emergency room for my watcher - he told me to meet him there, but he never said where he'd be.
"Buffy - " Willow's voice from behind me snapped me out of my personal thoughts, and I turned in her direction. She pointed, barely able to speak. Giles sat in a room with clear windows, a waiting room I assumed. I walked slowly towards it...
**********
Why Jenny? Why had he done this to her? I wanted to run out and find him, to kill him for what he had done - but I knew I was needed here. I could deal with him later. After I made sure she was okay.
"Giles?" I heard a voice call me from the doorway - I stood up to see Buffy standing there. She had come - so fast. I didn't expect her so soon. She walked over to me, and hugged me. I needed more than I had thought. I began to cry, and I felt horribly about it. I wasn't known for breaking down in front of her. But right now, I think she understood...
**********
I stared in, barely able to make out the figures of Buffy and Giles. I wondered what would happen now. To Angel... would they kill him? Probably. Xander would be happy about that. I'm sure we'll hear a lecture later on about how he told us all along - I look over at him, he tries not to show his emotions, to be brave for "us girls" but he's not doing a good job of it. I guess he noticed me staring at him.
"What?" He asked me, it was more of a squeak than his actual voice.
"What's gonna happen now?" I ask, almost afraid of what he answer might be. He looked in on Giles thoughtfully, then back to me.
"I don't know..." He tried to quickly wipe a tear away from his eye, but I saw it. The same thing I saw when he scraped his knee when we were younger - I went over and hugged him, and he returned it. It helped, knowing he was there somehow...
**********
I wasn't normally the breaking down type. Then again, no guy would admit to being the breaking down type. But here I was, crying into my best friend's arms. Sometimes I wanted to kick myself for letting her get away - and wondered where I ever got Cordelia from. But I did, and those were my own regrets. I was happy sometimes, and she always seemed happy. That was good.
But now wasn't the time to be thinking about that. Now was when we had to think about the cruelty that we never could have conceived. Not from Angel. Sure, I hated the guy. But I never expected him to do something like that. He had saved her as much as he had saved us, and in one moment of blinding passion, he had been destroyed. It wasn't Buffy's fault - you couldn't blame her for that. You couldn't exactly blame Ms. C for it either - even though it was her family. Because she was no obviously paying for her families mistakes. That just wasn't right...
**********
I finally pulled away from Giles, once his sobs had lessened. His eyes were puffy and red, I wasn't used to seeing him like that. It was a disturbing scene - I couldn't bear to see him like that. And to know I could have stopped it all from happening -
"Is there a Mr. Giles in here?" We turned at the sound of the doctor's voice, and I wasn't sure by the look on his face what his news would be.
"I'm Mr. Giles - " he said, the pain in his voice evident. That was the first time I'd heard him talk - his voice reflected his looks.
"I'm Dr. Olsen - I'm Jennifer Calendar's doctor. " He glanced over at me, not sure if he wanted me there.
"She's fine -" Giles answered the question he knew the doctor wanted answered. He nodded in agreement.
"We've gotten her stabilized - she had some serious damage done to her. We do have to do some spinal surgery, because her spinal cord was damaged - though not too severely." I looked up at Giles, taking that as a good sign. By the look of relief washing over his face, I knew it was.
"However, you're lucky you got there when you did. The way she had been injured - she was barely alive when you found her. Her oxygen was being cut off to the brain - "
"Will there be any brain damage?"
"Not that I can detect at this time, no. After the surgery, she will need to be in bed for a couple weeks, however. Is there any family members that we should contact?"
"Uh, no... I'll take care of her..."
"Very good. You're welcome to go home - her surgery will last a couple hours..."
"Thank you - " The doctor left, and I looked over at Giles.
"Are you going home?"
"Of course not..." He sat down heavily in the chair, and I knew that he would have a hard time coming...
"What do you want me to do?" He looked over at me, pain flickering through his eyes. I knew what he wanted me to do. He wanted me to kill Angel.
"I want you to go home... get some rest. Tell Snyder what happened, no you weren't involved - that I won't be in school for a few days, maybe weeks. And neither will she. I want you to go on living your normal life, and be careful when you go patrolling."
"Giles, I'll kill him if you want me to -"
"No - not yet. I want to talk to Jenny first..."
"But Giles - "
"No - go home, Buffy..."
**********
We both turned to face Buffy as she came out of the room, an expression that I couldn't exactly read spread across her face.
"What? What is it?" I asked, and I noticed how small my voice sounded. Xander looked at me, then to Buffy.
"He wants us to live our normal lives right now. Ms. Calendar needs some surgery - she should be okay in a few weeks. Angel hurt her really badly - " You could see the tears welling up in her eyes, but she wouldn't let them fall. I wanted to hug her, but she looked like now wasn't the time.
"He needs me to talk to Snyder - I asked him about Angel but..." She couldn't continue, but Xander, being the one who always had something to say, spoke up.
"But what?" I smacked him on the arm, looking at him angrily.
"Xander!!" I said, in my resolve tone. He knew it by now.
"But he doesn't want me to kill Angel. He wants to talk to her first. But - but I say we kill him. For him. For her. I didn't think he'd go that far - but he has, and he should pay for it now." Buffy's face was suddenly filled with hatred for the man she had once loved...and when she was determined - there was really no stopping her...
"Tomorrow night." And with that, Buffy turned around and left. So she was going to try and kill Angel tomorrow night.
"Xander?" He turned and looked at me, after watching Buffy leave.
"What?"
"Do you think we should tell Giles? She might not make it through the fight..." I didn't want to say it, but it had to be said.
"I don't think Giles needs anything else to worry about right now..." We both looked back to where Giles was sitting. Xander was right.
**********
I don't know how long I had been asleep, all I knew was that I was in a hospital. With a lot of machines hooked up to me. I groaned. I wanted to get out of there. Where was the doctor when I needed him? I closed my eyes again, and when I opened them again, Rupert was there. I smiled - or at least attempted to. I had made it.
"Hey..." He too tried to smile, but you could tell it was hard for him.
"Hey - " I managed to get out. Don't ask me how.
"Don't talk anymore - you need to rest."
"How long have I been here?" Wow. I was doing good. Better than I thought I could have.
"You were admitted last night - it's 2:30 in the afternoon..." I groaned again. I'm not exactly one to lie in bed for so long. I wanted out. But I knew that wasn't going to happen.
"Rupert -"
"Shhh..."
"No - you have to know..."
"Whatever it is, it can wait..."
"I found the curse..for Angel...you have to get it... before he hurts someone else..." There. I said it. Now he'd have to deal with it in whatever way he wanted to. I could tell he was shocked.
"You found the curse? How..?"
"Willow has to do it.. it's on a disk..in my room...tell her..."
"I will."
"Thank you."
**********
I answered the phone, hoping for some news on Ms. Calendar. I got what I was hoping for.
"Hello?"
"Willow?"
"Yeah."
"It's Giles - I talked to Jenny."
"Is she okay?"
"Yes - she's doing well. She told me she found the curse. For Angel's restoration." I gasped. That wasn't possible - or so I thought. Of course! That's why he had tried to kill her! She had found it!
"Really?"
"Yes. I need you to go to her classroom - to get the disk."
"Yeah, sure..."
"And I need you to perform it. She wants you to - "
"Okay..." I debated whether or not to tell him about Buffy's plan.
"So you'll do it?"
"Yeah - Giles? Uh... Buffy... she...uhhh... "
"Willow?"
"She was planning on killing Angel. Tonight. What do I do?" There was a pause on the other end of the line. You could tell he was trying to figure out what to do himself.
"Don't let her. Do the curse. If it doesn't work, have her kill him."
"So should I tell her?"
"Tell her."
***********
I was digging through my closet, finding as many weapons as I could possibly use against Angel. There was a knock at my door. I wasn't expecting anyone - but I opened it without question.
"Hey!" Willow greeted me kind of cheerfully, but she was also nervous. She had that shakiness to her voice.
"What's wrong?"
"What? Nothing... nothing's wrong! Uh... Giles wanted me to tell you..."
"Is Ms. Calendar okay?"
"Yeah, she's fine! In fact, she really wanted me to tell you this...uhhh... okay... here it goes... she found Angel's restoration spell. He heard what she was trying to do, and so he went after her. Anyway, to make a long story short, she wants me to try the spell. So - what do you say?" I could only stare at her in shock. So many times I had dreamed of Angel being returned - but after what he did...
"What did Giles say?"
"Well, he wants me to try it. And if it doesn't work - then you're supposed to kill him..." Like I wasn't going to do that anyway. But if it worked - I could tell Willow wanted to do this. For me. As much as I wanted to refuse, I couldn't.
"Okay. Try it. I'll go find him - if it doesn't work, I'll know."
"Okay."
"Does Xander know?"
"Not yet - I have to get him...and Oz and Cordelia too..."
"Hurry. The sun goes down soon." Willow turned and left, and I was ready for what might be the biggest battle of my life.
**********
We all met in the library. Everyone except Buffy. Everyone had come. Cordelia less willing than Oz and Xander, but she relented. Thankfully.
"Well, shall we start?" I asked, three heads nodded yes. I'd never been so scared in my life.
***********
I walked around the graveyard, hoping Angel would be there. I wasn't sure exactly where he hung out these days... A voice from behind me granted my wish.
"Slayer..." He hissed, hatred dripping from his voice. I turned to face him.
"Well, if it isn't you..." My heart ached with what I might have to do, and everything that had gone down between us...
"You here to fight? I know Jenny wasn't expecting what came to her..."
"Yeah, well, we can't all be as smart as you, can we?" I glared at him, trying to keep him talking. I wasn't ready to fight. We were equal in strength - maybe he was stronger. I wasn't sure.
***********
We stared at Willow - her chanting the strange words. By looking at Oz and Cordelia, I could tell they had no idea what she was saying either. I just kept up my end of the deal. I stood guard at the door. Cordelia was burning something that smelled like...I don't know exactly. And Oz was doing the curse in English. And old Xander got stuck playing guard. Wasn't that always the way? I always got the leftovers...
A light went flashing through the room. We all looked at Willow, not sure if this was supposed to happen. She seemed to be possessed. Was this supposed to happen? I looked over at Oz and Cordy, who seemed to be equally puzzled. I suppose only time would tell.
***********
"I'm tired of talking.." Angel said, with a look that sent a chill down my spine. I guess we fight now. He went to swing at me, instead I surprised him, catching his arm and snapping him backwards. I was fighting with everything I had in me - I had him down on his knees when he threw me backwards and I fell onto a gravestone. That hurt. But I was up instantly. I was never known for being down for long. He came towards me, I put up one hand to stop him, he grabbed my one arm, and with his other, punched me square in my jaw. I grabbed it, falling backwards, the blood quickly filling my mouth. I wasn't expecting that. I stared at him, unable to move up off the ground. He laughed, his face finally transforming. But then it happened. He gasped for breath - even though he couldn't breathe. That was funny. But then he too was on the ground, the tears filling his eyes. He stared at me, very confused. Willow had done it.
"Buffy?" My Angel had returned to me.
**********
A couple weeks later I sat on Rupert's couch, finally feeling somewhat better. He was still waiting on me hand and foot, not letting me do anything for myself. The curse had worked - I was proud of that. It wasn't directly my fault he had lost his soul - in a way, it really wasn't anyone's. But everything seemed to be right with the world for now. Buffy had Angel back. Willow and Oz were still exploring their relationship - and Xander and Cordelia were fighting more than ever. And me and Rupert? Well - we had finally patched things up. There will always be that lingering doubt between us - after all the lies we've told, it was only natural. He walked into the room.
"How are you feeling?"
"The same way I felt when you asked me five minutes ago."
"Oh - sorry..." He sat down on the edge of the couch and stared at me. I was still looking pretty awful - I had some pretty bad bruises on my neck...but it would heal...I guess if the things between us had healed, the bruises would be easier...
The End.
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