Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas
AUTHOR: Emily
E-MAIL: DoylesPrincess@aol.com
DISCLAIMER: All characters belong to the bad evil man who took my Doyle away from me. Oh…I mean Joss Whedon. Don't sue. Thanks bunches. Also, whoever owns the songs "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" and "White Christmas" (I think that's what it's called) I don't own their songs, I'm just borrowing them for my own happiness.
RATING: Nothing worse than the show...I guess PG?
SUMMARY: Uhhh...it's Christmas time. There's nothing else I can really say without giving away the whole story sooooo...
SPOILERS: Up through "Parting Gifts" of Angel, and "Amends" of BtVS.
FEEDBACK: Would be nice if you could give me some... :-)
NOTES: I wanted a cheering up happy Christmas story with Cordy/Doyle happiness. Hence my writing one. :-)
Angel sat behind his desk, looking dully at the newspaper. Tomorrow was Christmas, and yet all he could think about was what had happened last year. How his past had come back to haunt him - how he had come so close to taking his own life just to get them to leave him alone, so he couldn't hurt anyone else…so he couldn't hurt Buffy. And yet it had snowed… the sun never came out that day. The first time he had been able to walk out in the open during the day in over 200 years. He didn't want any repercussions of that year. No more ghosts haunting him, making him feel even more guilty for what he had done, what he had caused. The front door of his office slammed, startling him.
"Angel!" Cordelia's voice cried, he got up quickly and went to the front door, afraid that something was wrong.
"Cordelia?" He asked, urgency hinting in his voice. He was greeted with the sight of Cordelia, struggling with a rather large Christmas tree.
"Yeah…hi. Think you can help me with this?" He looked at her strangely, then quickly took it by the side.
"What are you doing with this?" He asked, looking around the side of it at her.
"Well…tomorrow's Christmas. I thought maybe it might be nice if we put it in the office. Brightened it up a little." She smiled at him, he shook his head.
"Cordelia…" She frowned, not loving his tone.
"What?" She asked, somewhat annoyed.
"Why don't you bring this to your apartment? I don't need a tree in here…" She cast her eyes downward, letting go of her hold on the tree.
"I just thought…" She looked back up at him. "I don't have anywhere to go for Christmas. Besides Dennis, you're the only person I have… I thought maybe I could spend it here… you know… cuz Buffy told me what happened last year… maybe it could be better…?" She questioned, his expression softened.
"Of course you can…" Her mouth turned upward into a wide smile, her eyes sparkling.
"Great! Cuz the cab driver's still outside and I have a whole PILE of stuff to decorate with. But you can't exactly help me carry it in - still kinda sunny outside, ya know? So you bring the tree into the office, and I'll go get the rest of the stuff." She turned to go back outside, Angel merely shook his head and carried the tree into his office.
**********
About 15 shopping bags later, Cordelia was finally able to pay the cab driver and begin to decorate. Angel was once again sitting behind his desk, after putting the tree on the stand.
"Hey - aren't you gonna help me?" She asked, placing her hands on her hips.
"Nah… you go ahead. You have the Christmas spirit - I would only bring it down." Cordelia rolled her eyes at his response.
"Okay, brood boy." She began pulling stuff out of her many bags, first lights and ornaments to tinsel and strings of beads, Cordelia had it all. She reached into the bottom of one bag, pulling out a CD. "You mind if I put this in?" She asked, then marched over to the CD player she had put in a couple weeks ago, putting the CD inside and pushing play. Soon the sounds of "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" were heard coming out of the speakers, and Cordelia hummed to herself as she began to put on the lights.
"I have to go out for a little while… someone I'm supposed to meet. I should be back in a little while…okay?" Angel said, after she had been decorating for about half an hour. She looked at him, almost upset.
"What? Angel…it's the holidays. Well, almost. Even you deserve a couple nights off."
"Cordelia - no matter what day of the year it is, there are people out there who still need help. And I promised someone I would meet them, and I'm not gonna break my promise. Besides…how else do you expect to pay for all of your decorations and a few Christmas presents for yourself?" She glared at him, then finally relented.
"All right. But try not to be too long, okay?" He nodded and left, leaving Cordelia alone.
**********
"Hmmm… this is really from the 15th century?" The female oracle questioned, Angel nodded. The male oracle was immediately on the defensive.
"We told you not to come back here… we know why you're here, and you have been here once before on his behalf. Now leave."
"But it's Christmas…" Angel stated, knowing it wasn't a strong argument but hoping that they might have * some * compassion.
"And you think that simply because of that we're going to make all your wishes come true? I cannot believe that you would return to us after we have turned you down…" The male oracle shook his head in disgust, turning away from Angel. The female put her hand on his arm.
"Brother… one might think that because he cares so much to be humiliated a second time by us, that he might truly care about the other person… "
"And that is not our problem. If he were just an average mortal, we wouldn't look twice on them. What had been done would be done and that's all. There are no differences here."
"I serve you. I save people because you tell me to. I'm your servant. I ask you to bring back the one person who was like a brother to me and you refuse. So why should I do any more work for you?" Angel asked, getting somewhat angry at the male's response.
"Because you still haven't made amends with your past. You will be tortured until you have. You won't stop saving these people because they need to be saved. Your friend died for you… so you can save those people and make your amends as he made his. And if you come to us once more… groveling at our feet and begging for your friend's return, we may never let you come back inside. You may try to call us but we will not answer you. You will have no connection with the powers, and will find someone else to do our work for us." Angel looked away, defeated as the male turned to walk away from him. The female looked at him apologetically, then followed. After watching them leave, Angel let himself out.
**********
"I'm dreaming of a white Christmas…just like the ones I used to know…" Angel could hear Cordelia sing as he walked through the door, his still heart seemed to hurt even more as he heard her. In the past few weeks he realized that she had true potential to make it as an actress…even if she didn't know it. Since the week after Doyle had died, she had been able to act like it was okay. That they could go on and live their lives and that Doyle may be out there somewhere watching them, but they never really talked about it much. With Wesley there now there was someone else in their lives to distract them from talking about it. Because he just wouldn't understand…he didn't understand. Angel had tried to explain it once, but Wesley had simply muttered that if that had been him people would have been cheering about his death, due to the many enemies he had been. What he said was true, even Angel had to admit the guy was annoying and he wished he would go away, but that had been the end of that conversation. But Cordelia never knew about him going to see the Oracles…he didn't want to get her hopes up and then have them come crashing down again. So he had to live with knowing that he had been able to save Buffy and not Doyle, with whom Cordelia may have had a semi-normal relationship with if only they had been given the chance. He slammed the door loudly as to announce his presence.
"Angel! You're back soon…" He walked in to see that she had gotten the lights up and some of the ornaments, but wasn't completely done.
"Yeah… they didn't show up. Maybe it was tomorrow night I was supposed to meet them…" Cordelia looked at Angel strangely.
"Angel…are you all right?"
"Yeah - fine. Why?" She shook her head.
"Nothing… you just aren't acting like yourself. Maybe it's just me…" She went to hang up an ornament.
"Do you…uhhh… do you need any help?" He asked, she looked at him, amazed.
"Really?" He nodded, she ran over and hugged him excitedly. "Thank you!" She said, then picked up a box of blue ornaments. "You can put these ones up. But don't put them all on one side - they need to be dispersed throughout all areas of the tree." She stated matter-of-factly, all he could do was smile at her as he hung his first ornament.
**********
"Alan Francis Doyle." The female oracle stated, Doyle stood before her.
"Yes m'am…" He replied, wondering why he had been called forth to see the Oracles.
"Your friend Angel was here again, begging for your life. We realized that he cares…" Doyle nodded, not understanding what she was saying, but knowing that they were famous for making you wait until they chose to get their point across. "We have never sent anyone back before, after they've died and made their atonement. Which is why we've turned him down twice now. Besides that we've already done something for him, which has only been done once or twice, to those who have proven they are worthy for it. He has not sacrificed anything for your life…I don't think he knows what to."
"I gave my life for all those people…isn't that enough?" Doyle questioned, then wished he hadn't.
"Yes, but people before had died because of you. Because you were blind to what you were…who you were. You refused to see and had to learn the hard way. Since then you had been trying to find out what it was you had been given those visions for… and realized it once you met Angel." Doyle looked downward, knowing what she had said was true. He didn't deserve to get sent back. He had ignored people's cries for help and in doing so they died. He had hoped that he'd never have to go through that again, to never feel that overwhelming sense of guilt, knowing that he could have stopped it.
"We're not willing to turn back time for you. We've done it once and it can't be done again. However, we can return you. To the time it is now… Christmas Eve. However, there would be some sacrifices you'd have to make in order to return. For one, you would not get back your visions. Cordelia will keep them and have to suffer the same pain that you had to go through with them. However, she has been doing quite nicely." The male oracle said, Doyle smiled at this. He knew she could handle them…even if it didn't exactly fit into her life. "You will also be completely human. The demon was burned out of you once you hit the light… which means that you will have the strength of a normal human being. You will be useless in battle, and won't be able to help Angel in his fight. Also… this is a one-time deal. If you are killed later on…whether it be tomorrow or 50 years from now… your life cannot be restored again. Your friend will be unable to beg for you again. You'd be giving up the afterlife you'd have here… and be just a regular mortal. Are you willing to make this sacrifice?" The male oracle looked at him seriously, Doyle considered this for a moment. He'd be able to go back to Cordelia… but he'd be completely useless to them now. Would it really be worth it?
"I have a question…" He said, they nodded him on. "Would it be worth going back for? I mean, when I walk out of here… would I get hit by a Mack truck or something in the middle of the street? Or will I live to see my great-grandchildren?"
"That we cannot answer…" The male said, the female beside him winked at Doyle, a smile on her face.
' I suppose I should take that as a good sign…' Doyle thought, then nodded.
"Do you think you could send me back?"
"As you wish…"
**********
They were done decorating the tree when a light knock came at the door. Cordelia and Angel exchanged confused glances and Angel went to the door.
"Wesley." Angel muttered, gesturing him in. Cordelia attempted to smile at him as he came through the door.
"Wesley… Merry Christmas Eve." She stated, he smiled.
"Thank you. I was just wondering what you two were doing tomorrow…whether or not I had to come into work…"
"You can spend Christmas here, Wesley. I'll make breakfast and we'll sing Christmas songs and act like the happy little family that we aren't." Angel said, still stung by what the Oracles had said to him. Wesley looked at him, not quite understanding his comment.
"Why thank you, Angel. It's very kind of you to invite me over…"
"Oh, give it up Wesley and come over here and hang up your stocking." Cordelia said, holding up a stocking for him to hang.
"Why are there four?" Wesley questioned, Cordelia looked to Angel.
"Well…I got one for Doyle… cuz he should have been here…I just thought it might be nice…" She said, the light dying from her eyes.
"Good thinking, Cordelia." Angel said, Wesley looked to him in protest.
"I don't think we should be dwelling in the past too much, now, do you?" He asked, a possible hint of jealousy in his voice. Cordelia looked at him angrily.
"Don't even say something like that about him, all right?" She stood up from her spot on the floor and left the room, not believing that Wesley could ever even say such a thing. Wesley looked at Angel.
"I just don't think we should live in the past, that's all."
"You've said enough, Wesley." Angel said, then walked after Cordelia.
**********
"You okay?" He asked, Cordelia was sitting in the dark room. She looked up at him.
"I just can't believe he'd say that. Xander was right…Wesley really is a moran…" She shook her head sadly and put it in her hands, Angel put a reassuring hand on her shoulder.
"It'll be all right…" He said, then looked back into the other room where Wesley tried to act as though he hadn't been watching them all along. "Come on…you have to put the star on the top of the tree." She looked at him, managing a weak smile.
"All right…" She got up and followed him.
"Cordelia… I didn't mean to offend you with what I said…" Angel cast a threatening look in his direction as he began to speak, Wesley immediately silenced himself. She looked to Angel.
"Do you think you have a chair to stand on?" He walked over pulled one out from the corner and pulled it over to her, she stood up on it. She reached up to place the star on the tree, then looked back to Angel and Wesley. "Is it on straight?" She questioned, when a voice not belonging to Angel or Wesley spoke up from the doorway to the room.
"It looks perfect…" The three heads turned to face the speaker, Cordelia's eyes began to fill with tears.
"Doyle…?" She managed to get out, Wesley looked from Cordelia to Doyle.
"In the flesh…" He stated, she smiled happily and got down from off the chair and ran over to him, hugging him tightly.
"Please don't let this be a dream…" She muttered into his shoulder, he held her tightly.
"It's not…" Doyle replied, he looked over her shoulder at Angel who was smiling and Wesley who stood staring at them in bewilderment. He released his hold on Cordelia. "Who's that?" He questioned, pointing to Wesley. He stepped forward, extending his hand.
"Wesley Wyndham-Price. Rogue Demon Hunter." Angel rolled his eyes, Doyle attempted to hide his smile.
"Welcome back…" Angel said, going over to hug Doyle.
"Thanks…" Doyle stood back from the group and glanced around the office. "Wow… love what you've done to the place." He said, Cordelia smiled.
"Yeah… Angel helped me decorate." She said, Angel looked at Doyle.
"Can I talk to you for a second?" He questioned, Doyle nodded, looking back at Cordelia.
"Be right back, okay?" She nodded, and he followed Angel into the other room.
"So how'd this happen?" Angel asked, once they were out of earshot. Doyle cast his eyes downward.
"The Oracles called me forth. Told me that Cordy would keep my visions and that I'm now fully human - no demon left. But it means I'm weak… just average human strength. And that I'd be completely useless in battle." He finished, Angel was completely baffled.
"Okay - but did they say why they sent you back?" Angel questioned, Doyle shook his head.
"No. 'Tis the season, maybe. But they told me that you came…twice now." Doyle smiled at him. "I had no idea I was that important to you…that much of a friend." Angel shrugged it off.
"It was nothing… plus Cordelia missed you." Doyle raised his eyebrows in shock.
"I noticed she seemed a little excited to see me. I couldn't exactly figure that out for myself, ya know?" Angel smiled slightly, then turned serious once again.
"It hasn't exactly been the same around here without you, Doyle. We missed you. Maybe things can turn back to normal, huh?" Angel cast a hopeful glance into the office where Cordelia was yelling at Wesley for some unknown reason, Doyle followed his gaze.
"Yeah, in some form." He looked back at Angel. "So what's the deal with that guy?" He pointed to Wesley, Angel shook his head and glanced upward.
"He's a watcher. Or at least he was - he got fired because he wasn't exactly good at his job. One slayer ended up in a coma, and Buffy just refused to work for the council anymore. So they fired him." Doyle shook his head.
"He doesn't seem like the swiftest guy I ever met…" Doyle paused a moment, then continued. "So did he and Cordy know each other?" His voice was lower, he had noticed the way that Wesley had looked at her, and he honestly didn't like it.
"They were attracted to one another at a point. Never found out how far that got, but it seems like she can barely tolerate the guy most of the time." Doyle nodded.
"Kinda like with me, huh?" Angel raised his eyebrows at this, Doyle smiled. "He's too stuffy for her anyway…" He muttered, then pointed in their direction. "Shall we?" Angel nodded, and they headed back into the office.
"What took you two so long?" Cordelia asked, trying to sound irritated.
"Just talking." Doyle put his hands up in surrender, Cordy rolled her eyes.
"Well, whatever. Look - you're gonna need some place to stay…" Her voice trailed off as she glanced at Angel.
"He's all yours…" He said in response, then walked back to his desk and sat down. Cordelia shrugged.
"Once the loner always the loner…" She muttered, then looked to Doyle. "So… will you hang your stocking already?" She asked, holding it out for him to take.
"You got me a stocking?" He asked, unable to hide the shock in his voice.
"Yeah, well… figured you deserved one." She pointed at the wall. "There's no fireplace, so I just thought hang them on the wall, right?" She questioned, casting a look in Angel's direction for approval. His silence they took as a yes, and Doyle walked over to the wall, hanging it in between Angel's and Cordelia's. He stepped back, the four looked at them.
"They look good - " Wesley said, Cordelia linked her arm with Doyle's trying her best to ignore him.
"Well we should probably be going…" She said, then began to pull Doyle along with her.
"See ya in the morning, boss…" Doyle stated, saluting him jokingly.
"Bye." Angel replied as they walked out the door, then looked at Wesley, as though he was trying to tell him to leave as well. Wesley, however, didn't get the point.
"I don't understand it. Is it the accent? I have an accent…" Wesley stated, sounding very much like a five-year-old boy. Angel rolled his eyes and stood up.
"Go home, Wesley." He said, turning off the lights to the tree and leaving Wesley alone in the office.
**********
Cordelia stilled had her arm linked with Doyle's as they walked towards her apartment, her explaining the whole deal with Wesley.
"Wow…someone likes Christmas music." She said, the sounds of "Jingle Bells" floated out of a window and into the night air.
"It's coming from your place, Princess…" Doyle said as they finally reached the door. They exchanged strange glances, then it finally dawned on Cordelia.
"Dennis." She put simply, then opened her door. "Dennis! You turn this music down - " She cut herself off as she noticed the lights decorating the living room. She stepped inside, Doyle following her as she dropped her bag on the floor. Lights decorated the windows, the walls - even the doorframe. And sitting in the middle of it, in front of the fireplace was a tree - decorated with lights and ornaments, tinsel and cut out snowflakes. Cordelia looked back at Doyle and cast him a wide smile. "Did Dennis do all of this?" She questioned, he looked down at the floor.
"No…uhhh… I actually came here, before the office. I kinda figured you'd be here. When you weren't, and I saw that you hadn't decorated, I thought it would be a nice thing to do… but Dennis did help - " Cordelia walked over to him, wrapping her arms around his neck and cutting off his words.
"It's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me - " She said, as the CD switched tracks and began to play "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas". She pulled away from him and looked straight into his eyes. "I don't' want you leaving me ever again, okay? You played hero once - never again…all right? And that isn't a question, mister - that's an order!" She demanded, he could do nothing but smile at her.
"A direct command from the princess herself…" He said, her serious expression couldn't mask her smile.
"Well, yeah…" She said, looking away sheepishly.
"So…do you think perhaps…that the uhhh…the very much alive hero might receive a kiss from the princess? He saved her life, after all…" Doyle asked, the fear evident in his voice.
"Well, if he deserves it…" She replied, her eyes sparkling. He pulled her close to him, his lips meeting hers in a soft kiss. Different from the last - for they knew this time it wasn't farewell.
*Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Let your heart be light
From now on
Our troubles will be out of sight.
Have yourself a merry little Christmas
Make the Yuletide gay
From now on
Our troubles will be miles away.
Here we are as in olden days,
Happy golden days of yore.
Faithful friends who are dear to us
Gather near to us once more.
Through the years we all will be together
If the Fates allow
Hang a shining star upon the highest bough.
And have yourself a merry little Christmas now.*
The End
.
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