TITLE: Haze
AUTHOR: Mari
E-MAIL: Cyni1@aol.com
DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, Joss is God, please don't sue me.
RATING: PG? PG13? Nothing that wouldn't be acceptable to the show.
SPOILERS: 'Goodbye Iowa'
FEEDBACK: Makes me a happy computer nerd
DISTRIBUTION: Anyone who wants it, just let me know first
SUMMARY: Riley's thoughts after the events of 'Goodbye Iowa'
NOTES: :::shrugs::: I'm blaming this on Biology. Makes me write depressing fics.
Up until a few days ago,, I thought my life was pretty close to perfect. I had a beautiful, intelligent girlfriend, decent enough grades in college and a.... job, I guess, which I thought had the potential to really help people.
Then God apparently thought it would be fun to shoot all that in the ass.
I can't get Buffy out of my head. She seems so sweet and average in class and then I find out there's this dangerous side to her I never even knew about. The Slayer side. And yet I still can't stop caring about her. Cool, hot, all-temperature Buffy.
There are so many questions I don't have answers to and they keep running through my head in some sort of twisted monologue. Professor Walsh was my commander, my mentor, my friend... almost like a surrogate mother. But what Adam said can't be true. No way. I'm Riley Finn, your basic average guy except for my job. I'll be the first to admit that I have a bit of a knight-in-shining-armor complex, but I know I'm not some lab rat.
They are going to discharge me from the military hospital within the next few days. Adam's claw didn't cut too deep and I'm healing fast. Fast enough to make me want to ask what kind of wonder drugs they're pumping into me this time. Never thought the day would come when I no longer trusted the Initiative. It's almost like turning against your family.
What am I going to do when I get out of here? I haven't the foggiest idea. I guess the most obvious option would be to go back to the Iniative like nothing ever happened. But things did happen, and nowI don't know what I want anymore.
On the one hand I have a beautiful girl, a group of people who are more than willing to be my friends if I let them, and an escaped demon whom I'm not quite sure how fits into this picture yet. And on the other hand...just a haze.
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