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Same Old Me Again Today

Author: Mary Ellen
E-mail: emmy2@salsgiver.com
Rating:PG, maybe R
Classification: B/R, W/X
Spoilers: Season 4
Distribution: To Jen, for Finnatics if she wants and any site that has permission. Anyone else, just ask.
Feedback: I'll do the Snoopy Dance for it. Flames will be used to heat my cold apartment. Its a direct correlation, peoples. More feedback = more fic.
Disclaimer: Joss and his cohorts own them. If I owned them, Xander and Riley would be cuddling in my bed with me, right now. No copyright infringment intended. But you knew that.
Author's Notes: This was inspired by TLC's Unpretty. Sorry for making Anya a bit of a bad guy. I do like her, but she was standing in the way of the story... can't be having that!


Buffy sat curled up on the floor, watching Willow mess around with her makeup and grow more and more frustrated with every moment. "Willow. Take a break. Sit down here and eat some ice cream with me." Buffy could recognize the agitation in Willow's jerky movements and coupled with the odd evasiveness Willow had been practicing for the past few days, Buffy was more than a little worried about her friend.

Willow plopped down, discouragement etched on her face. "I don't know why I even bother trying, anyway." Buffy cocked her head questioningly. "Wills, I'm getting the feeling that there's more to this than an inability to make the buttercream eyeshadow blend right. Spill." Willow waved a hand in a practiced gesture of dismissal, attempting to stare down her best friend. Breaking first in the staring contest, Willow shrugged. "I just wish I was, you know, beautiful. At least pretty, someone that makes guys sit up and take notice."

Buffy looked at Willow in shock. "Willow, you're gorgeous. I know lots of guys that turn and give you more than a second glance when you walk by." Buffy began listing the guys that she knew Willow could have with the snap of a finger. Willow just sat there, shaking her head. "But they're not..." She trailed away.

Buffy leaned in, peering into the redhead's eyes. "They're not who?" In a sudden burst of compassion, Buffy drew the wrong conclusion. "Is it Oz? I thought you were moving out of the pits of despair?" Willow shook her head, violently. "Oz is gone. I've accepted that, and yeah, I miss him, but its okay." Willow looked earnestly off into space. "Its just, I miss Xander. I'm tired of watching him and Anya engage in their daily screaming battles. She makes me sick, trying to make him prove himself in every way. I mean, flirting with *Spike*?"

Buffy looked in shock, at Willow. "I didn't even dream that you still felt that way. I thought, well, after the whole flukey issue, that you guys were back to being childhood pals." Willow turned her head, gazing at Buffy with soul deep weariness. "Do you, even for a moment, think that I could stop loving Xander? Yes, I loved Oz, and it was good, wonderful even. *But*, don't even think that I ever stopped loving Xander." Willow sighed, "Obviously he could put any feelings he thought he might have had for me, behind him, when he can't tear his eyes off of a tarty ex-demon who treats him like a cross between a vibrator and a puppydog."

Willow breathed out a soft gust of air, that was too wispy and almost too sad to be a sigh. "Oh well, guess we should start getting ready to meet Riley and Xander at the Bronze. Who'd ever thought those two would be friends?" Buffy smiled, remembering the long bonding process that the two boys had engaged in, as they moved from being hostile to being friends. Willow's lip curled with a very un-Willow like sneer, "At least the demon bitch won't be there. She's off in LA, shopping for more tramp wear." Buffy smiled, raising an eyebrow to Willow's cattiness and moving off to gather her shower stuff.

A quick shower later, Buffy stepped into the room, surprised as she saw Willow standing in front of the mirror, holding of Buffy's skimpier dresses to her body and singing along to TLC of all the music in the world. Buffy sighed a little, inwardly, at the poignant applicability of the words to Willow's situation.


"I wish could tie you up in my shoes
Make you feel unpretty too
I was told I was beautiful
But what does that mean to you
Look into the mirror who's inside there
The one with the long hair
Same old me again today"


Willow turned to face her, and Buffy was startled at the look of cold, icy determination in Willow's eyes. Willow smiled and the expression, so different from Willow's usual open and sunny grin sent chills up Buffy's spine. "Call Riley and Xander, and tell them that we're going to have a girls night, but encourage them to still go out. Use Oz or something as an excuse." When Buffy stood staring, her hair dripping all over her robe, Willow snapped, "Just do it. I've got an idea."

Buffy moved to the phone, almost in a dream, and did as Willow told her. Buffy knew that she made sense, since Riley was talking normally, assuring her that it was fine, that he and Xander would have a grand old time, don't worry about them. Hanging up, Buffy walked back over to Willow. "Okay, weird girl. Whats going on in that brilliant head of yours?"

Willow met Buffy's eyes in the mirror, and Buffy was relieved to see that the icy look had faded somewhat. "We're going to find out the answers to everything that we've wondered about, feared." Buffy gave Willow a confused look, suprised when Willow continued, "Don't think I don't know how you're just the tiniest bit worried about Riley, after the whole Faith fiasco. I know that you'd *jump* at the chance to test him. And I'm going to find out what exactly it is that Xander wants, and by the goddess, even if it isn't me, I'm going to ensure that he knows it is *not* that scheming bitch, Anya."

Buffy started sputtering out questions, and Willow just shook her head. "Trust me. Dry your hair, put your make up on, but pick an outfit that Riley hasn't seen you in. And let me borrow?" Buffy nodded, moving to do what Willow said, with an inward shrug.

Fifteen or twenty minutes later, the two girls stood in the middle of the room, ready to go out, and clad in the sexiest clothes that Buffy's closet could supply. Willow looked at Buffy, "Ever hear of a glamour?" Buffy laughed, "The magazine? I've got last months' issue under my bed somewhere." Her giggles died out at Willow's serious expression. "A glamour is a spell making things appear... different. I'm going to cast a glamour over us and we're going to the Bronze. We'll see if Riley and Xander are ready for a challenge."

Buffy's face held a mix of horror blended with the faintest trace of intrigue. When her protests were met with only Willow's resolve face, she sighed. "Make me a brunette? I've always wondered if they had more fun." She was rewarded by a true Willow smile. "A tall, curvy brunette coming up." Willow muttered some words, drawing strange signs in the air with her hands and the air suddenly crackled with mystical energy. Then, just as quickly as the energy came, it was gone, leaving the air feeling strangely flat and empty.

When Buffy looked at Willow, she still saw the same old Willow, and looking down at her body, she saw the same old Buffy. When Willow turned them to face the mirror, however, it was another story altogether. There were two strangers reflected in the mirror, a tall, slender brunette with gleaming reddish highlights in her long silky hair, and an equally gorgeous girl with shimmering wavy blonde hair and all the curves in the world. Buffy was shocked to see the brunette's arm raise, when she moved. "Willow. It...*worked*." Disconcerted to see Willow's smile on the blonde's face, Buffy shook her head. "This can only end in badness." Buffy almost didn't catch Willow's mutter, "Doesn't it always?"

**********

Buffy and Willow glided smoothly into the Bronze, with the assurance that only a woman with no fear can assume. In mutual, unspoken assent, they each grabbed a beer, the dazzled bartender handing them over with whispered murmurs that they were on the house. Keeping to the shadows, the two girls scanned the room for their prey, spotting Riley and Xander sitting at a table near the dance floor, watching the people dance and not really talking.

Buffy was shocked as Willow took charge, whispering her plan, clearly and concisely into Buffy's ear. "First, we go and dance. We catch their eyes, and move in for the kill." Buffy was shocked at the venomous tone of Willow's voice, beginning to shake. Buffy's eyes widened as she realized that she fully believed that Riley would be incapable of remaining faithful to her, and she squared her shoulders. For the first time, Buffy began to realize what spurred Willow.

Willow led the way to the dance floor, positioning herself with exquisite care. The two girls began to sway to the music. Buffy gave herself up to the music, losing her cares for just a second in the liquid flow of the female singer's voice. Only too soon, Willow moved into the second phase of their plan, turning, seemingly nonchalantly, and noticing two attractive men. Buffy noted with growing heartache that Xander and Riley were watching them, and whispering to each other. Willow caught her eye, and lifted her chin, telegraphing the "no chickening out" message without a word.

Willow led the way over to Xander and Riley, Buffy trailing along behind her. Xander's face lit up and Riley looked oddly uncomfortable. Buffy barely recognized Willow's smoky, teasing voice as she introduced them as Jodi and Jen, and began to banter with Xander. Noticing Riley's sideways glances, Buffy, in a surge of anger, slithered up beside him and began making her own moves. Buffy looked up, feeling a sense of panic as Willow asked Xander to dance, and they moved onto the dance floor.

Buffy, feeling for all intents and purposes like a deer in headlights, continued her flirting with Riley, growing more and more angry as he responded to her teasing banter with more of the same. Moving in for the kill, Buffy cooed out an invitation to dance. Riley shocked her, when he smiled and declined. "Thanks for the invite, but I don't dance, and I imagine that my girlfriend would have something to say if I trampled anyone else's feet but hers."

Buffy didn't recognize the cold, stoney feeling that gripped her stomach, purring out "Well, I can think of more pleasant ways for you to trample me. Your girlfriend wouldn't have to know." Buffy was heartened by the look of shock and near disgust that played across Riley's face. "She wouldn't have to know. I would. I'm not interested." Riley turned his attention back to the dance floor as Buffy began to splutter. "But, why wouldn't you be interested in me? What guy doesn't want a gorgeous girl, no strings, no worries?"

Riley looked at her, the disgust clearly written on his face this time. "My girlfriend is more beautiful than you could ever hope to be, both inside and out. Why on earth would you think mere politeness would mean that I want meaningless empty sex?" Buffy suddenly reinterpreted Riley's glances and banter, without the cloak of jealousy and fear, realizing that he had been polite, unwilling to be mean, perhaps even enjoying the attention, but with no intentions whatsoever of betraying her. Buffy gifted him with a twisted smile, as her guilt at the deception built. "She's a lucky girl" and Buffy was moving away.

Willow moved toward her, as she and Xander broke apart on the dance floor. Willow rushed toward Buffy, "Its time to leave, if you're satisfied." Buffy nodded, the relief she felt so strong it was nearly palpable. Buffy was heartened, looking at Willow's face, to see a strange sort of peace.

Outside the Bronze, Buffy stopped, and whirled Willow around to face her. "Okay, whats the situation? Riley passed with flying colors, but what exactly happened with Xander?" Willow's face crumpled and she kept walking. "Xander was so... " She faltered, "attracted to me, and I, uh, propositioned him and he turned me *down*!" Buffy looked at Willow in shock. "What did he *say*?"

Willow smiled through her tears. "I asked him if he had a girlfriend, and he said, no, he was just trying to extricate himself from a really bad situation, and he thought I was absolutely gorgeous, but there was a girl. Someone that he'd loved for longer than he realized, and he couldn't take the chance of ruining the possibility that one day when that girl had healed from her heartache, she'd see him again."

Shaking her head in disbelief, Willow continued, "He said that he'd already hurt her twice, and even if he didn't know if anything he did mattered to her, he couldn't risk it, and he didn't *want* to risk it." Buffy blinked at the thought of the wise cracking Xander waxing sentimental to a gorgeous blonde who was trying to put the moves on him.

Buffy met Willow's eyes, and they both started giggling, the nervous tension of the past couple hours breaking. "Imagine Xander thinking about what he said! The horror!" Willow muttered a few more words, breaking the spell and the two girls walked home, a little lighter of heart and fairly glad to be themselves once more.


The End


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