Author: Elizabeth
E-mail: cyberwolf1@adelphia.net
DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the characters associated with "Angel".
DISTRIBUTION: Ask first... please.
FEEDBACK: Please!!!
AUTHORS NOTES: This was a response to a fanfic challenge. The challenge was:
Requirements:
***Must be D/C
***Kate must die
***Angel bashing
***Xander has to show up.
***Cordy has to be doing Tae Bo and she has to attempt to teach Doyle.
***Doyle - Uptown Girl
***Cordelia - That Thing You Do
***Angel - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
***Jonathan has to show up
Must have 5 of the following:
A rubber fish
A multi-colored scarf
A David Arquette movie
Someone watching Dawson's Creek
Britney Spears bashing
***A lava lamp
A Drew Barrymore reference
A cat named Quinn
***Someone drinking 7UP and Dr. Pepper at the same time.
***A dead rose
A pile of empty water bottles
The book "My Brother Sam Is Dead"
***A big stuffed bear
***Someone saying "I didn't do it"
***Christmas tree lights - but it isn't Christmastime.
Doyle saying, "What's in there - a tarantula?"
INT. ANGEL'S OFFICE - NIGHT
Doyle: Happy Birthday, Cordelia!
He holds out a wrapped gift. She grabs it quickly.
Cordelia: Ooo! Give it here!
She reads the card first. It says, "Remind you of anyone?". She gives him a
questioning look.
Doyle: Just open it.
She does so. Inside there is a little green stuffed monster. It has a snarl
on and a tongue sticking out. It also has a little black "leather" jacket
and blue spikes all over its face. Cordelia bursts out laughing and then
kisses Doyle.
Cordelia: I see the resemblance. Now I can have my sweetie with me even when
he's off fighting crime.
Doyle: What? Are you planning on not coming along sometime?
Cordelia: Oh, definitely.
Suddenly there is a knock at the door. Still clutching her gift, Cordelia
goes to answer it. Xander is there.
Cordelia: Xander? What are you doing here?
Xander: I was in town and figured I'd stop by and wish you a happy birthday.
He hands her a big stuffed bear.
Cordelia: Thank you! Well, come in.
Xander enters and sits down in a leather armchair when Cordelia motions for
him too.
Cordelia: Doyle, this is Xander. Xander, this is Doyle.
Doyle: Hey.
Xander: Hi. So, Cordelia, should I be jealous?
He cocks an eyebrow.
Cordelia: Oh yes. Very.
Cordelia sits next to Doyle and kisses him. Xander looks shocked. He didn't
seem to be expecting that reply.
Cordelia: So, how have you been?
Xander: Great. Well, as great as you can be while living on the Hellmouth.
Cordelia: Right. Do either of you want some coffee?
Xander: Sure.
Doyle: That'd be great.
Cordelia leaves the room.
Xander: You're a lucky man to have Cordelia.
Doyle: Very lucky, indeed.
Xander pats him on the back and suddenly Doyle grips his head in pain. He
half sits half falls into the chair. Cordelia enters the room at this
moment.
Xander: I didn't do it!
Cordelia: Well, duh!
Doyle removes his hand.
Cordelia: What did you see?
Doyle: A vampire.. Attacking you.. Didn't see where.
Cordelia: Isn't that just great! What a wonderful birthday present from the
PTB!
Doyle: Well, we're going to be with you tonight for your birthday, so you
don't have to worry.
The door flies open, and Angel comes in. He sits down and puts his hands up
to his head, looking depressed yet angry at the same time.
Cordelia: Jeez! Are you in another of your mood swings? Because NOTHING is
going to beat my little vamp problem here!
Doyle: Cordelia, I don't think it's that. What happened, man?
Angel: I was fighting a Relicer demon, and.Kate showed up. I didn't have
time to.get to her before.
Cordelia: Oh god. Angel. I'm sorry.
All of them look down at the floor. Angel pulls out a dead rose from his
jacket.
Angel: Apparently someone sent her this, with a note to be there at that
time.
Doyle: Was someone setting her up to be killed buy the demon?
Angel: Maybe.
Cordelia: She didn't think there might be something weird about that?
Doyle: Of course she did, but that's why she went. She is a cop.
Cordelia: Oh.
They all stared at the floor, once again.
Cordelia: Well, maybe when we go out in a little while we can give a toast
to her.
Doyle: That's a great idea, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Hey, Xander? Want to come along?
Xander: Sure. Where are you going?
Cordelia: Karaoke Night!
Angel: I don't know if I want to go anymore, Cordelia.
Cordelia: Angel, It'll be good for you.
Doyle: And I think you're just trying to get out of singing.
Cordelia (sarcastically): Come on, you HAVE to hear Doyle's STAR
performance! It's going to be worse than the time I tried to teach him Tae
Bo!
Angel tried to hold back his laughter, but couldn't.
Cordelia: I can't wait to hear what it sounds like for you to sing in your
lit.
Doyle: Well, sorry to disappoint you Cordelia, but 'I don't sing in me lit'.
That last part he added in his most heavy Irish Accent. Cordelia pouted at
the statement.
Cordelia: For me.please?
Doyle: All right. You know I can't take it when you give me those eyes.
Cordelia: Let's go.
Angel: I'll catch up with you later, maybe, okay?
Cordelia (frowning): All right.
Xander, Cordelia, and Doyle leave.
EXT. DARK ALLEY - NIGHT
Cordelia: God, Doyle. Why do we always have to take your short cuts? They're
eerie.
Doyle: It's quicker, that's why.
Xander: Not if we get eaten by some demon.
Doyle: Oh, both of you. quit whining. We're almost there.
Cordelia: This is probably where that stupid vamp attacks me.
Doyle: Don't worry, my sweet, I won't let any vampires get you.
Cordelia: Why isn't that comforting?
A figure is visible in the alley.
Figure: Cordelia?
Cordelia: Jonathan?
Jonathan: Wow. It's great to see you. What are you doing here?
Cordelia: I'm headed for a birthday party.
Jonathan: Oh, I'm so sorry, I don't have anything for you. Well. maybe I do.
He vamps out, and lunges at Cordelia. Doyle jumps him and pulls Jonathan off
her. Jonathan now turns his attention to Doyle grabbing him by the neck and
trying to bite him.
Doyle: Now, that's not very nice.
Doyle transforms and smashes Jonathan in the head with his own. Jonathan
grabs at his face in pain, and is then staked by Cordelia. Doyle changes
back and puts his arm around Cordelia. They stroll off in the direction of
the Club, leaving one surprised Xander standing there. He eventually comes
to his senses and runs to catch up.
INT. CLUB - NIGHT
The Club is a pretty tacky place. Lava lamps adorn every table, and
Christmas lights are all over the walls, despite the fact it isn't anywhere
near Christmas time.
Cordelia and Doyle are dancing to the music. The Karaoke hasn't started yet.
They see Angel enter the Club.
Cordelia: Angel! So glad you could join us!
Angel: Yeah.
Cordelia: Quit being so scared. It'll be fun.
Angel looks around worryingly. He stops at the image of Xander pouring 7UP
and Dr. Pepper into the same glass.
Xander: What?
Angel: That's gross.
Xander: Well, excuse me 'Mr. Everything I drink is labeled O-Positive'
Cordelia: Angel is right. I don't know how he knows. but he is right.
Someone gets on the stage and announces that the Karaoke machine is now
open.
Cordelia: Ooo! I'll go first, okay?
Doyle: Break a leg.
Cordelia: What should I sing?
Xander: How about 'That thing you do'?
Cordelia: Hmmm.
Doyle: Yeah, do that one.
Angel: I agree.
Cordelia: Fine.
Cordelia gets up and sings 'That thing you do' sort of somberly. Everyone
claps when she is finished. She returns to her table.
Doyle: I need some alcohol now.
Cordelia: Very funny.well it's your turn, little Irish man. You're doing
'Uptown Girl'.
Doyle: No way, I want to pick my own song.
Angel: Just do it.
Doyle sighs and reluctantly gets up. As he starts singing you can tell he
isn't taking it seriously, which makes it even better to watch than Cordelia
's. He finishes.
Cordelia: Do you have any of that Aspirin you carry everywhere?
Doyle: I did better than you, princess.
Cordelia: Sure. Just keep telling yourself that.
Xander: Angel's turn. I think we should make him sing 'Girls just wanna have
fun'.
Cordelia: Yes!
Angel: No!
Doyle: Sorry, Angel, you've been out voted.
They push Angel onto the stage and he starts to sing. He very nervously goes
through the entire song, vowing to scare Xander out of his mind for doing
this to him. He'd have to enlist Doyle later to help him think of something.
~FIN~
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