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~Invitation~

deleted, not fixing i done update this page anymore
By: Megan S. 1999

I took this at Sands Point August 2001

~My Escape~

When I am having a cloudy day, with no rainbow
The last thing on my mind is to find one
But I fear to let my emotions show
Or maybe there are none

When life gets tough, I need somewhere to go
To find my escape, my way out
I turn to my notebook, in which many don't know
There my face is on every page

Here is where I can hide
And write down how I feel

Because my notebook will never lie
I can put down all my secrets inside,
that will never die
It can never betray me

This is my secret place
Where no one can hurt me
Only my poems fill this space
This is my escape from reality

I took this sometime in the summer of 2001

By: Megan S. 1999

~Falling~

The leaves fall from the trees
Death is all around me
I am all that is not dead

The only one living
But it seems like I
should be the one dying

The pain would be gone
I would be at peace
No one would notice

The ones I love
Don't love me back

The leaves continue to fall
Suddenly I am falling too
This is the way it should be

By: Megan S. 2000

~Me~

I cry
but what for?
for things worth nothing but tears
all alone, deep in my soul
my emotions are burning
filled with hurt and anger
the rest of my thoughts and feelings,
lie lost on the floor
I am locked behind bars of pain

By: Megan S. 2000

~Soldier~

I have been losing and winning battles,
since the day I was born
getting wounded in the fights
Battles of hate and pain
Battles of love and attachment
so many feelings and thoughts
unable to let them out,
afraid of being attacked
you see the strength I have,
but not the tears I am hiding
as the years pass by,
I sink deeper
my emotions buried
beneath the sand, locked away
I live underground, with no light
the sand fills quickly
soon there will be no escape
I am scared
of living and of dying
Life is power,
but you never know what is going to happen
Death is silence,
puzzles of mystery that can not be solved
life is full of problems, death causes pain
people come and go
some see with their hearts, others see with their eyes
not always searching for the truth
I am falling apart
and forgeting who I am
my heart is burning with mixed emotions, it hurts
feelings bleeding out
I can not tell my thoughts aloud
thoughts of death
none of them are safe
I try to fight like a soldier in a war
with a strong gut within me as armor
to protect me from my enemies
but sometimes I need a safe, quiet place to rest
somewhere to get myself together, before my enemies kill me
soon I must start to believe
that being honest, does not mean the bad will stop
and a friendship will grow
But that hiding my secrets
more suffering will rise
I am terrified of being defeated
and even more hurt when people I know care
and like me just the way I am
that end up leaving me for many reasons
behind all the armor, crying
the soldier is still a little girl,
just trying to find the way to who she really is

By: Megan S. August 25, 2000

~Untitled~

another day has reached the end
the sun goes down
night quickly arrives
bringing cold and darkness
and her nightmare begins

she thinks of hate and pain
lying in her bed
holding her blanket
tears fill her eyes
fear crawls through her

careful of not making a noise
cuddling with a pillow
feelings of emptiness
and thoughts of death
soothe her hurting head

no more strength to stay awake
slowly closes her eyes
she is afraid
hes haunting her dreams
and burying the truth

By: Megan S. January 18, 2001

2001

~Endless~

thinking, crying and hurting
i lay on the
cold, hard floor
feelings of emptiness
and thoughts of death
racing through my
depressing head
trapped in this trance
taking a blade
and slowly pushing it against my
bruised, hurting body
letting the blood drip
releasing the pain
the anger
and
the guilt
i laugh, as
tears trickle down my
cheek

By: Megan S. May 18, 2001

~Loaded Gun~


lonelyscaredangrydepressedstupid 
worthlesscrazyloserisolated alone 
tiredhurtbadabusedpainanxietysad 
fearcryingdangernumblostilluseless 
scarsdirtygrossunloveable tortured 
brokendisappointmentbruisedtears
oddupset    e 
hopeless    d 
bluecold    i 
forceful   c 
troubled  i 
paindie u 
reckless 
darkhate 
emptymad

By: Megan S. August 24, 2001

~I was...But now...~

I was silent
tiny and delicate
alone in the world

I was angry
isolated and scared
looking for an escape

I was numb
cold and empty
with nothing but sadness

But now...

I am heard
free and alive
wanting to be needed

I am here
trying to survive
with everything I have

I am me
content with myself
seeking whatever life beholds

By: Megan S. December 15, 2001

~Hands~

alone in my room
his hands come after me
big and strong
they touch me all over
I close my eyes
and pray to make them go away
but his hands stay
and come after me
pulling me towards him and
hurting my body
I can't tell anyone
his hands make me
feel so dirty

By: Megan S. February 18, 2002 12:04am

~Bleeding Out~

taking a blade and
slowly pushing it into
my body, faster and
harder getting out my
anger, crying and
laughing, finally opening
my skin and releasing the
numbness, dripping out my
tears

By: Megan S. February 21, 2002

Poems Page 3

Email: nutmegz16@mailcity.com