When Hell Freezeth Over
Dedication: Lauralai, a reader who left a beautiful little review for my first fic. I used one of her inspiring lines in this fic, and another as the summary.
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When you feel all alone,
And the world has turned it’s back on you
Give me a moment please
To tame your wild wild heart- Savage Garden, "Crash and Burn"
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Part One
"Buffy? Buffy? "
Willow Rosenberg looked at her friend across the table, whose eyes seemed glazed over in thought.
"Hell-ooo? Earth to Buffy, this is Earth speaking. "
Buffy suddenly took a sharp intake of air, as if awakening from a trance.
"Did you say something, Willow? "
Willow sighed, a smirk on her face. "No. I said a lot of things. Were ya been to? "
Buffy smiled, still looking a bit lost in thought. "Sorry. I guess I have a lot on my mind. "
Reaching across the piles of books splayed in front of them, Willow examined the one Buffy had been leaning on.
"I don’t suppose one of those things happens to be the Mexican war, huh? "
She shook her head. "Nah. Is that were we left off? "
"Mm-hmm. Although I’d have to say you started drifting probably around the same time gold was discovered in California. "
Buffy shook her head again, this time in mock-shame of herself. "Great. Probably didn’t get an ounce of that into my head. "
"Mind sharing what’s going on in The World of Buffy? May help get your mind off it. "
"Eh. It’s nothing much. I think I just need a break, we’ve been going at it pretty hard. You mind if I bail on you for today? "
Willow mimicked a scolding tone. "All right, I’ll let you off the hook, but only if you promise to show at least a few times next week. You’re never gonna get it all done without my help. "
Buffy smiled appreciatively at her friend. "Thanks, Will, you’re the best. I’ll see you later, " she said, eagerly packing up her stuff.
"We’ll be waiting, " she answered as Buffy struggled out the door, obviously we meaning her and her book-friends. The young Slayer chuckled amusingly at her friend as she left the library, but soon her cheery smile evaporated as she made her way off campus. There had been much on her mind, indeed.
She had been mulling over last night, of course. She had the weirdest time last night on patrol. Spike had gone with her and they ended up talking about the stars and pointing out constellations and…Buffy shook her head. Not things you’d normally expect the two to discuss. She didn’t know why she couldn’t get it off her mind, it just kept coming back to her.
And then there was all the brooding she had been doing lately about her life. It wasn’t like there was anything in wrong in particular right now-quite the contrary. It was a rather peaceful time in Buffy’s life; she had nothing to worry about. Maybe that’s why it was bothering her so much. She spent so much of her time worrying about the next big thing, she forgot how to live without that hanging over her head. Worry and constant action, never resting, seemed to define her life. And lately she had been brooding over it more and more, really working herself into a depression spell. She felt distant from everyone, because although they could offer a sympathetic ear, it would never be enough. They really didn’t know what it was like. They were great friends of hers, yes. They couldn’t help not being able to fully understand. It was just the way things worked.
So it seemed the only thing that distracted her from her busy moping was last night’s events. You know how the mind will turn something over and over in the head too many times? You can start to twist and distort and exaggerate events very easily. Buffy decided her tall-tale was getting way too freaky and she had better find something else to do. Go out, get outta the house, try and do something fun. Yeah.
Sure.
Instead as default her mind turned to her other current best pass-time; moping.
----------------------------------------------------------
"Buffy, you wanna talk about anything? "
Buffy tried her best to hold back the anger and defensiveness rising in her veins.
"I’m fine, Xander. Why does everybody keep asking me that? " she snapped. He looked a little taken aback. "Woah, girl, sorry I asked. I was just-"
"I know, you were just trying to help. Everybody’s trying to help. " She said tersely, pacing the length of her dorm.
"Well that’s kinda what people do when they sense there’s something wrong-"
"I know it! " she snapped, glaring at him. Hearing herself, she repeated it softer.
"I know it…Xander, it’s just that…. " She teetered out, wanting to explain but she just couldn’t to him. He wouldn’t understand either.
"Hey. It’s not on the list, Buf, so you can talk about it. C’mon. "
"What list? "
"You know, " Xander said, still in the doorway,
"The three things to never get in a debate over. Religion, politics and love. "
"That is not the list. "
"Yes it is. "
"No, no, that’s not the last one! It was…"
Buffy scrunched her nose. "I don’t remember, but that wasn’t it. "
Xander just shrugged. "Ok, whatever. You da boss. "
The Slayer glared at him again. "I’m not makin’ it up, ask anyone. " She muttered.
"Jeez! You don’t need superpowers with a look like that, Buffy. " He said, referring to the death-glare he was still under.
"Then why not take a hint, " she snipped, walking off into the room as if he wasn’t there anymore.
"But-"
"No, " Buffy answered. "No buts. I’m sick and tired of people stalking me like this. Just-just go! "
Xander was finally getting angry. "Buffy, we’re not stalking you. We’re your friends. We just want to help. "
"Well, you can’t. " she said shortly. "So you might as well leave. "
"How do you know if you don’t try? "
"I just do! Why are you still here? "
Xander ground his jaw and there was a dangerous glint in his eye, but rather then yell like he wanted to, and Buffy deserved, his voice came calm and low.
"All right, Buffy. I’m leaving. "
And simply turned and left like that. Buffy watched the blank space in the door frame a moment. Regret panged through her, but soon anger devoured and replaced it.
"S’ own fault. I can’t talk to him about this. Should of taken a hint, " she muttered angrily, trying to justify herself. Her mood did not improve much that day after that horrid encounter with her friend.
~
Night fell slowly upon Sunnydale tonight. Or at least it felt like it for Buffy. She eagerly watched as the cerulean blue skies faded and dyed to a rich navy blue and slowly, the darkness crept around and consumed the entire world, claiming it as the nighttime.
As the night fell, she felt comfort return to herself. This is were she still had some power, some control in her life; this was her element. She may not be able to fight her own internal demons but she sure as heck could go and dust some real ones.
Eager and restless to get out on the patrol, she geared up and left early, much earlier than usual, by herself. She didn’t feel like being with her friends tonight, especially Xander, who was probably still angry…
So, as soon as dusk began to settle, she took off for her usual rounds. She walked much of it in silence. Her mind crackled of the day’s events and tormented her with the argument she had with her friend. She ought to apologize. She ought to-
No! She had no reason to. He wasn’t being fair, they all had to leave her alone. None of them could ever understand. The anger at herself and the indefinable reason for her brooding still coursed through her veins. She needed some vampires to stake, damn it.
"What’s the matter? Nobody want to take me on? " she yelled into the night.
"Sure, I’ll have a go. "
The Slayer whipped about at Spike’s voice to see the vamp smirking nearby.
"Oh, that’s real cute, Spike. " She said gratingly, and turned to continue her fast-paced walk. The peroxide blonde caught up behind her.
"What? I was serious. I will. Sounds like you don’t have any other takers. "
She sneered at the vamp’s mocking, at the same time knowing he was right.
"Sorry, Spike. No can do. You wouldn’t be much a match for me with that chip in your head. "
"So it is a slow night then, eh? " he said, ignoring her previous comment.
She sighed, rolling her eyes. "Vampires. Always show up when you don’t need them, not a single in sight when you do need em’. "
Spike seemed amused by this. "So the Slayer needs vampires? Hmm, good thing I came along. "
"Spike-" she said warningly.
"All right, I’ll be good, mum. Just lemme stay up past my bed-time. "
Sighing again, the Slayer continued on as if not noticing the chipped vampire following close behind.
But as the night wore on, Buffy was frustratingly disappointed. The vampires she wanted to slay were nowhere to be found. She took it out on the logical place-
"Spike, what it wrong with you vampires? " she growled.
"We don’t take enough showers, I think. And we really ought to work to keep on top of the new fashion age. I see so many dumb-"
"Shut up. I don’t mean that. I mean, is it like you’re all conspiring against me right now? We haven’t run into a single one tonight. What did ya do, warn everyone? "
The vamp gave his usual smirk. "Luv, if I tried to do that I’d have my brains beaten in by the lot of em’. "
"Don’t call me that, " she snapped.
"You rather I call you baby? "
The Slayer wielded her stake with a dangerous gleam in her eyes.
"Shut. Up. "
He just watched her, rather than retort, so she turned and continued to walk again. He followed a few paces behind.
"Well aren’t we touchy tonight, " he muttered.
"I’m not touchy! " she snapped back. Spike smiled to himself in automatic response. Definitely touchy.
Truth was, he had waited for her tonight to start out on her usual patrols. He often watched the Scoobie gang’s vampire hunts but waited ‘till Buffy had gone on the patrol herself before offering to join in as well. He had been hoping for a repeat of the last time they went out, as it seemed remotely possible he was finally melting down the hard shell she had built around herself, the vicious and deep-run hatred she had for him. But tonight was not her usual rough verbal treatment of him; she was downright inhumane. Something was eating at her.
The Slayer started to complain again.
"You’re just stupid, the whole bunch of you. Spend all my life hunting you down and I swear sometimes it’s like it’s not even worth it. You so dumb anybody could do this job…"
It was an angry muttering, but Spike’s vampiric senses could pick out every word. He was rather peeved at the pointless digging at his kind, but knew she was just blowing off steam. Still, he found it impossible to hold his tongue.
"Now, Slayer, give us a chance here, huh? "
She shot a glare at him. "And you just shut-up over there, " she added to her list of things to complain about.
"Why should I? "
"Because you’re as harmless as a bluebird, smartass! Why don’t you go suck your pig’s blood, " she snapped, trying to abuse him enough to get him to leave.
Spike looked at her, shocked. The Slayer kept marching on without turning, waiting for the smart-aleck rebuttal from him or angry threat. But she never got any. Instead his voice behind her came cautious, concerned.
"Cor, something’s really buggin’ you, Slayer. "
She kept silent, knowing he had hit the mark.
"You want to talk ‘bout it? "
She stopped and turned on her heel so fast, the vampire nearly ran into her.
"What is with everyone today? ! Why would I want to talk to you anyhow? It’s not like you’re my friend or anything! "
The vampire looked hurt. "Hey, who gave you the right to yell at me all night? I was only tryin’ to do you a bloody favor, " he yelled back with matched anger.
"Well don’t! Why, why do you want to do me a favor? You think I’ll just open up to you and cry out my heart, is that it? ! What is wrong with you? "
"Well excuse me, " the vampire huffed with fury, "For being considerate to you. Excuse me for thinking that maybe some of the talks we’ve had mattered to you! Ex-"
"What are you talking about? We haven’t-"
"Oh, ok, sure, " he said, his voice picking up a strong mocking tone to it,
"I see. You’re saying, that Doya know any constellations, Spike isn’t a damn bloody attempt at a conversation, it’s just a slip of the tongue. All right then, "
Buffy started to scream at him, his last comment hitting home.
"Just GO AWAY! Get the hell out of here! No, no-don’t say ANYTHING. Leave, before I change my mind about staking you! NOW! "
Then she spun around and stomped off into the night without looking back.
Spike just stood, watching her go. He was shaking with anger, wanting so badly to rip her throat out, but that bloody chip….
"Uuuugh! "
Shoving the stake he carried around for patrolling into the tree, it was effectively buried into the bark six inches deep. Then he stomped off as well in his own direction.
-------------------------------------
What the hell just happened?
Buffy suddenly stopped, listening carefully. While she scanned for signs of vampiric activity, her mind carried on elsewhere.
Well, we had an argument. Big deal. We do pretty much every time we see each other. We’re mortal enemies, after all.
Ah-hah-ah, her mind replied. Not true. Lately you’ve actually been getting along.
So what? He hasn’t been as annoying lately. He’s been…almost polite, considerate. Doesn’t mean he is, just means he has been….
He’s been good to you. Good company on the lonely nights. This is how you show your appreciation.
Were was that coming from? Good company? Hah! He’s….
Oh, just shut up, ok? He’s a vampire.
Exactly.
What the hell is that supposed to mean? ! No, don’t answer that. I’m not listening to you anymore.
Buffy continued to banter back and forth mentally, the argument had quite shaken her up. Going through the routes she knew so well, she didn’t even see a sign of demon.
Her mind was a storm of angry and troubled thoughts. It was probably for the best that everyone was gone because so lost in thought was she, that most likely a whole parade of vampires could of gone by without her notice.
Buffy finally sighed and turned in bitter defeat to head home, in the same morbid silence as she had traveled in from the start. She knew she would have to pass it on the way home-her heart raced as she felt it’s approach…and then there it was. Rather than walk by as fast as she could, she stopped. She couldn’t help it. She just stared at it for the longest time, torn. Spike’s crypt.
~
Angrily pacing was the bleach-blonde vampire, puffing at a cigarette and cursing to himself.
"Damn bloody Slayer, " he spat, even though he knew it probably was his fault. Should of kept his big mouth shut just a damn minute. She wasn’t in the mood and now he’s scared her off.
"Bitch. I bend over backwards for her, she doesn’t even see that. "
He flopped onto his leather couch, dropping the cig to the floor and stomping it out. He wasn’t in the mood for being very angry tonight. Maybe later on-
He jerked as his door creaked open and the Slayer simply walked in, shutting the door behind her. For a moment he just gaped at her, and she was blinking, her brow furrowed, as if concentrating very hard on something puzzling.
"Spike, do you know the list? "
He continued to gape, not quite able to forum words yet.
"The…" he started, uncertain if he heard.
"The list. The list of three things to not get in a debate about. Or at least I’m pretty sure it’s three. "
The vampire shook his head, confused as hell.
"Slayer, what are you doing here? "
"Asking you a question. What’s it look like? "
He tilted his head at her. On any other given day he probably would have been furious at her, having the guts to come back here and toy with his mind. He’d yell and try to verbally abuse her as much as he could. But-she was making him damn curious as well.
"You know. Religion, politics and something else. Xander says it’s love. I don’t think it is. "
Spike still was uncertain of how to react to all of this. He kept taking a breath of air as if about to yell, but then just let it out, shaking his head. He chuckled.
"I have to ask, Slayer. What makes you think you can drop by here like we’re old chummies and ask me cryptic questions? Every time I try to do that you just get pissed off. "
She nodded as if he had made a valid point. "Y-yeah. I just-" she bit her lower lip.
"I mean, by every right I should be mad at you. I should be screaming bloody murder. That’s what you’d do. "
She nodded again.
"So why are you here? " he repeated, getting up from the couch to approach her. She kept her eyes even with his.
"I-I dunno. I just figured you’d know. I mean…"
As she faltered again, Spike finally realized. She wasn’t here to toy with him. She had actually come here for a reason.
"You wanted to talk, " he supplied for her, struck by the truth of his statement, and she looked back up at him.
"No! Well…kind of. I mean…"
She sighed in frustration, quickly loosing her nerve.
"I don’t know, Spike. Things have been crazy lately and for some stupid reason I thought-it’s dumb. I’m sorry, I’ll just-"
"Death, " Spike said, cutting her off.
She stopped, completely loosing her train of thought at what he said.
"What? "
He paused a moment, mostly for effect, before smiling at her.
"Death, luv. The third thing. That’s what it is. "
"I knew it! " she yelled. "I knew I was right! I told him and he wouldn’t listen, but I knew it was something else! "
He watched her with amusement. When she was finished with her triumph, she seemed to realize were she was again. Before she could say anything more, Spike spoke for her.
"Well…since you’re here then…you want somethin’ to drink? "
She grinned in dark humor. "Don’t really have a taste for blood, Spike. "
Spike rolled his eyes as he walked past her. "Not blood. I do have a few other things around here, you know. "
"Sure. And do your friends know about this? " she said, finding comfort in falling back into their usual banter.
"All ready told ya, luv. Don’t got any friends no more. "
Coming back from the corner of the room (I suppose it could of counted as a kitchen, in crude terms) were he had a mini-fridge, he had a bottle of beer in one hand and a bottle of something else in the other.
"Wait…is that iced tea? "
He grinned, opening the bottle and handing it to her. "Don’t believe it? Give it a taste, it’s real. "
Gazing at the bottle, the idea of poison momentarily flickering through her head-oh, what the hell, if he wanted to do that he could of a long time ago-she tasted it.
"I can’t believe it. Spike, this is real iced tea. You have…tea. "
He nodded, "I know. "
"Why? "
"Hey, there’s plenty of things you don’t know about me, Slayer, " he said, taking his beer over to the couch.
Buffy sipped the tea. Heck, it was a good brand, too. How on Earth he knew it was her favorite drink, she had no clue.
The vamp popped open his own drink and she watched him take a good draft.
The Slayer suddenly wondered what she really was doing here. Jeez. She was in Spike’s crypt, drinking iced tea. This was insane.
"And now, " Spike said, grabbing the TV remote,
"For a bit of quality programming. You’ll like this, Slayer, " he said, sounding very certain of himself.
She raised a brow. "Judging by your tastes? Not likely. "
But Spike was thrilled with himself for his smooth delivery of the plan. He had managed to keep her here this far and he wasn’t about to loose it now. Entering in a channel number, he reclined comfortably.
"This is the rare exception to the rule. I promise. Something I’d think we’d both find amusing. "
Buffy was getting increasingly curious. "Nuh-uh. Not a thing exists. I watch sappy soaps. You got to watch those mindless, plotless violent movies. How-"
Spike shushed her as the commercials ended. "Shh-shh! It’s starting. "
She fell quiet, watching in wonder. It looked like an old black-and-white movie was beginning. A slow pan-out revealed an ancient-looking and very creepy house on a hill. As the title was dramatically displayed, with crashing lighting and the whole bit, Buffy cried out, grinning in disbelief.
"No way! You’re kidding me! "
He seemed to hardly be containing his humor. "Nope. It’s the real thing, luv. What, you never seen Dracula before? "
Overcome by good humor of the situation, she came and sat down on the couch next to him. She couldn’t help it. Fighting to keep a straight face and not laugh, she answered.
"Oh, I’ve seen it. Me and Xander and Willow-we went and saw it in a drive-in theater a few years ago. Oh, God, we laughed so hard that night…" she shook her head to hide her grin.
"It was so ridiculous. I mean, the ideas these guys have about-" she stopped talking, in order to avoid a very embarrassing fit of laughter, instead shaking in silent mirth.
"Aheam, " she coughed instead, putting on a straight face again and regaining her posture.
Spike-can’t laugh around Spike. Jesus.
"Oh, you should see what some of my ol’ mates used to say about it. Hell, even the ones that didn’t say anything, their expressions were priceless. "
She grinned, getting a pretty good idea in her head of what that would have been like.
Buffy really didn’t want to have a good time. She really didn’t. But the idea of a Slayer watching Dracula with a real vampire was just too much. Ever watch a really, really old movie were everything’s terrible-acting, effects, lighting, storyline, everything-and are overwhelmed with all the things to mock? That’s what it was like; there was just too much to mock, it was all so ridiculous, the whole thing was just as funny as hell. Buffy nobly hung on for a while, keeping from laughing, but as the movie continued the humor escalated, until she just couldn’t help it, damn it! They ended up in near hysterics over it.
By the time the movie came to a "dramatic" close, Spike was listening attentively to Buffy reciting some story, as he took occasional swigs of his third beer, looking downright happy, which is quite odd for a vampire indeed, especially when it doesn’t require maiming, killing, blood, or gore. Huh, he wasn’t even drunk.
When she finished she noticed the credits rolling, flickering on the poor copy of the movie being run. It was sort of like a wake-up call.
"Oh, Jeez. I don’t suppose you have a watch, do you? "
"It’s 3:45 at night, luv, " he said as he drank from the bottle.
"How’d you know that? "
He tipped his bottle to the door. "Spend enough times wandering ‘round without a watch wonderin’ when the sun’ll shine and believe me, you get a remarkable sense of time. "
"Huh. Guess that does make sense. "
"Either that or it’s just the smart ones are the only ones left over, " he added.
She smiled a moment at that but then grew quiet. He watched her carefully.
"Got somewhere to be, huh? "
She shook her head. "Nobody knows were I’m at, " she stated.
"They don’t? "
"Nope. Far as they know I never came back from patrol. They’re gonna question me when I get back. "
Spike kept quiet.
"And I don’t care, " Buffy added.
"They all just need to let go. Give me a break for once. I mean…" she shook her head.
"They don’t realize I gotta just leave sometimes. It wouldn’t count if they knew were I was. They could come in at any moment and there’d be some demon or another to kill. I got to avoid that sometimes…feel like I can live a life outside of it all. Or something. "
She looked over at the vampire next to her who had been humbled by her honesty. He now spoke as she looked to him.
"It’s quite simple, Slayer. You need an escape. All that you do’s never gonna be enough. There’s always more. So there’s no way around it. " He said simply,
"Except to leave it all for a while. "
She nodded in agreeance. "Right, exactly. "
The demon smiled lightly, knowing that their time tonight was coming to a close.
"Best not worry your mum too much though, huh? "
She nodded again at his prompt. "Right, of course. I should be getting back. "
She rose, his blue eyes following her as she walked to the door.
"’Night, Slayer. "
She gave a half-smile before the door shut, leaving Spike alone.
He continued to sit there, gazing at the door, and looking over to the muted TV, and then into his beer. He shook his head with disbelief. It seemed so surreal still. He gazed at the spot on the couch she had been only a few moments ago, right next to him. Finally he allowed himself to admit it really had happened, reaching out to feel the couch was still warm. Warm from her.
He just sat there, hand on the couch, absorbing the depth of what this all meant and the occurrences of that evening.
Then a smile creased on his handsome features and he chuckled, understanding.
"I’ll be damned. Hell’s just become the newest ice rink in down. "
----------------------------------------------
"Ok, one question-I don’t think I even need to ask. "
"Then don’t and let’s say you did, ok? "
"Buffy! "
The blonde Slayer turned to look at her concerned friend, Xander.
"C’mon, Xander. I already went through this with my mom and Giles. "
Buffy had already apologized for their previous argument, and things were still a little taunt between them, but for the most part, they were ‘cool’, as Xander put it.
"We were all really worried. " He stated simply. He didn’t really need to say much more.
"I know, I’m sorry. "
"So where were you? "
"Somewhere safe, don’t worry. Not out fighting demons, " she assured him.
"I just wanted a little break, you know? Been kind of uptight lately, as you’ve…noticed. "
"But were did you go? " Xander repeated, not satisfied with her explanation.
She looked at him, and then just said,
"Somewhere safe. "
The bells on the Magic Shop jangled as she walked out. Anya came up from behind Xander. "Who was that? "
"That was Buffy, " he said.
"Oh! So she’s alive then and…fine? "
He smiled at her. "Yeah. "
"Well…were was she? "
"Somewhere ‘safe’, apparently. "
~
The urge to approach Buffy and talk to her again was strong. Spike was a man, or I suppose demon, of action, and he hated to wait. But the vampire had plenty of time before to think of this day, when his patience had finally paid off. And the Slayer he had sought the trust and friendship of finally accepted him as a possible friend. He knew that he was in a delicate situation, and that the trust he had worked so hard to earn could be shattered like glass in a heartbeat if he made the wrong move. So he did the smart thing. He waited for her to make the next move. The ball was in her court. Until then, he would carefully lay his plans.
~
The depression spell that had been plaguing Buffy was lifted for a time, to her immense pleasure. Despite the fact that she had been questioned by her friends and mother, they soon let it slide. Her friends all thought that was it; she had been uptight a while but now it was fixed. It was just a fluke.
But as the days went on, she seemed more and more preoccupied in thought again. Not the broody kind about life; just…daydreaming. Or something.
And finally, she started to disappear again.
-------------------------------------------------
"I toldya, Rambel, nobody’s ho-Oh. Hey, Slayer, didn’t realize it was you. "
Buffy eyed the club Spike was armed with. "Who’s Rambel? Doesn’t sound like you like em’ very much. "
The vampire grinned at the club and slung it nonchalantly about his shoulder.
"Oh, we used to be pals. Before the whole chipping and demon-hunting thing, that is. "
She nodded in understanding. "Mm. I see. "
Spike ambled over to the corner of the room were he stock-piled a bunch of odds and inns, including several wooden stakes, and gave the club a good test-swing in the air. It was Tuesday-she usually came ‘round on a Friday or Saturday. Huh.
Yes, to answer your question, that night had not been a fluke. Or at least, it turned out to be a fairly re-occurring fluke. Since then Buffy had dropped by several more times, late at night, full of conflict and demons in her head and wishing to sort them out. Spike gladly obliged, of course, and the two mortal enemies would sit and talk. Tonight she seemed to Spike to be in a more lighter mood, or something.
Carefully replacing the club to a resting position against the wall, he said,
"So how goes it up there among the living? Anything new I should know about? "
"Mm. Not much. In fact, very not much. "
Perching on a stool by his rat-pack stockpile, he smiled.
"You sound bored. "
"I am bored. "
He raised a finger as if to scold. "Ah-ah, a Slayer should never say that. That’s when somebody drops a nice new demon on her doorstep to tangle with. "
She smiled, knowing he had a point.
"Mmph. " She wined, rubbing her empty stomach.
"What’s with all the mm’ing? "
"Aah. I didn’t have dinner yet. "
The vampire raised a brow. "What’s the matter, didn’t like what mum was serving? "
"Shut up, " she said good-naturally,
"I was out late and didn’t feel like going home to get yiped at. Not worth it for micro-waved casserole, I’d say. "
Spike thought a moment, then smiled smoothly, digging through his pile of junk. Opportunity was there at last for him to make use of something he had been saving.
Tossing the tan-colored pamphlet of paper to her with a flick of the wrist, he asked,
"You like Chow Mein? "
Looking at the little To Go menu in wonder, Buffy chuckled.
"Spike…"
"What? "
She bit her lip.
"Actually, I love Chow Mein…" she admitted.
"So what’s the problem? "
Looking through the menu, she seemed hesitant.
"It’s just…I don’t want to eat anything that’s been, you know…stolen. "
"Buffy! Whatever gave you the impression I’d steal something? " he said in mock horror. She rolled her eyes.
Pulling an old pencil box out of the pile, which inadvertently splayed other small objects about, (which were completely ignored), he flipped it open and took out some bills.
"Don’t you worry, luv. I got it covered. I’ll even give you the receipt to prove it. "
She looked at him and back to the little menu, still amazed he was actually planning to pay for this. The vamp went to find his wallet.
"Wow. A vampire who actually buys stuff. I’m impressed, " she said, half-humorously and half-seriously. Spike flopped on the couch on his back and reached out to take the menu from her and flip through it upside-down.
"Crap, crap, garbage…ok, here we are. I’d suggest the Cashew Chicken, and little bit of this Sweet and Sour Pork, oh, you gotta get the Broccoli Beef-thing too. That’s the best stuff they got. "
"And the Chow Mein, " Buffy added.
"Of course the Chow Mein, " he agreed, handing the paper back to her.
"So it’s decided? "
She hesitated a moment, only because it still seemed a bit funny to her, but what the heck. She was hungry, so why not?
"Ok, sure. "
Smiling, he got up and grabbed his coat.
"Be right back, " he said, and then paused at the door.
"Oh, and one thing. Don’t go poking around in my stuff. Personal, private stuff. "
"Ye of little faith. "
"Pffft! "
The door clicked shut. The Slayer just stood there a moment, mulling over the fact that she was now alone in Spike’s empty crypt. Hmm.
"Time to go poking around in personal, private stuff, " she muttered, suppressing a wicked grin.
~
Spike was perched on one arm of the couch, and the Slayer was perched on the opposite one, both turned in, as he carefully passed out the little white boxes from the brown paper bag.
"Now, " he was saying,
"There’s only one hard-fast rule of dining at Spike’s. "
He gave her a serious look.
"Anything falls on my nice couch here, and you gotta lick it off yourself. "
She fought to keep a straight face. "Oh, really? "
Nodding, he said, "Yep. Ok, here’s the Chow Mein, " and passed it over to her, going back to digging in the bag.
"I don’t suppose you’d have utensils, huh? "
"No need. " He said, presenting the two paper-wrapped pairs of chop-sticks.
"Another advantage for ordering chinese, " he said as he tossed a pair Buffy’s way.
She ripped open the package and watched Spike as he opened his and started digging into the box greedily. Frowning, she looked down at her pair of chopsticks, and back up, trying to copy how Spike was using them. Groaning in frustration, she gave in.
"Ok, I give up. How do you use these things? "
Spike laughed, nearly choking on a cashew. "You don’t know how? "
She stuck out her bottom lip in a pout. "So? You don’t need to eat and you know how? "
Showing off, he expertly clipped a single grain of rice with the sticks and ate it.
"Kay, it’s really simple. Look, you put the bottom one down here between these two fingers, and hold the top like a pencil. "
Buffy adjusted the sticks in her hand, looking over at her example, not quite sure if it was correct.
"No, those’re the wrong fingers. Here-this one. "
She frowned. "No, no, you’re mixing them up-here, " he said, getting up from his spot and after examining, adjusted the sticks in her hand to the proper position.
"There, like that. "
She smiled up at him. "Thanks. "
Loosing vocal functions for a moment as their eyes met, Spike quickly went to sit back down before he’d do something regretful. They both ate right out of the boxes, a few minutes passing of comfortable silence.
The Slayer, picking out all the beef from the Beef n’ Broccoli to eat, asked,
"So what’s it like? To eat as a vampire, I mean. "
Spike looked thoughtful a moment, trying to figure out the best way to explain.
"All right, you know when you go out with a bunch of friends to eat a meal, right, and you’re all finished, but still sitting around blabbing-you’re picking at it still but only because there’s nothing else to do while you talk, right? "
She nodded.
"It’s like that. You’re not too full, but you’re not hungry either, you’re just eating because it’s sitting there. I mean, it still tastes the same as when you started. But it’s not satisfying. It’s just…there. "
"Yeah, " she said, thinking about that.
"Mostly it’s done for the gesture-sake. Sort of lost meaning, " he said.
"But, " Buffy said, pulling on an unusually long Chow Mein noodle-
"You still can get drunk. "
"Yep. Drunk, stoned, an’ anything else you fancy. "
"Ok. Here’s one-how often do you like, take showers? "
"Well, most vampires? Never, " he said, as Buffy made a face.
"That’s why they always stink so much. Live like animals, " he said, shrugging.
"Tell me about it, " the Slayer murmured.
"But I make sure to take one at least once a week. " Spike added proudly.
Buffy snickered. "Uh-huh. "
"Hey, don’t laugh. You know how hard it is to find a decent place to shower? It’s not like you can go knock on anybody’s door in the middle of the night and ask em’. You got to rent a whole damn hotel room or something. "
"Wow, that must get expensive. "
He nodded. "It does. But I got an image to keep up, you know? Not gonna go ‘round smelling like a sewer rat like the rest of the lot. "
"Even if it costs you your smoke money? "
"It’s a tough call sometimes, " he admitted.
"Maybe you can just set something up here. "
He scoffed. "Like they’d run plumbing down into a crypt. "
"Not plumbing. Something simpler, like a…bathtub. "
"A bathtub, " he repeated. She shrugged at him, and he snorted.
"Sure. Like I’d be the kind to take bubble-baths. With…rubber duckies and…. shower-caps and those back-scrubber thingies, " he said, looking quite disgusted.
She laughed. "What? I have no problem picturing you like that. "
His eyes lit up at that remark.
"Oh, is that so? "
Realizing what she had sounded like, the Slayer felt her face involuntarily flush.
"Shut up! I didn’t mean…" she started, holding the chopsticks as if to fling some Chow Mein onto him. He shielded himself as if she had a flaming torch.
"Woah, steady, Slayer! You have to admit you walked right into that one. "
"You want chinese take-out in your hair or not? " she threatened.
He shot back his clever remark, wagging his eyebrows. "Only if you remember the rule, gotta lick up whatever you drop. "
"Aaaaa! " she yelled, quickly halting her catapult of the food in mid-swing.
Seeing none had fallen, she let out a breath of relief and carefully replaced it in the box, while shooting him a glare.
"Another remark like that’ll earn this chopstick through you, " she said, sounding truly vicious over it as she licked the stick.
He smiled, obviously having a good time. "Mm. Like to see you try an’ pull that off. "
The rest of the night carried on in similar fashion.
---------------------------------------
"Hey, Will. What’s up? "
Willow looked up, smiling at her friend.
"Hey Xander. Buffy and I are studying, " she said seriously, nodding to the empty chair next to her. Xander gave her a funny look.
"Well, technically, she’s not here, but she’s supposed to be. Were is Buffy, anyway? "
Xander pulled a chair out and sat on it the opposite way.
"Oh, she’s off in la-la land. " He said with conviction.
Willow’s eyed widened. "Again? You’re kidding me, right? That’s, l-like the third time this week! "
Xander nodded. "I know. "
Giles appeared from behind a bookshelf, shoving his glasses up the bridge of his nose.
"I’m afraid I’m quite confused, you two. Were did you say Buffy was? "
Xander waved at Giles, even though he was only a few feet away.
"Hey Giles! Didn’t know you were here. Yeah, um, I said la-la land, right, Will? "
She agreed with her friend. "That’s right, la la land. That’s were she is. "
"And…were exactly is this la-la land you’re referring to? "
"Well, see, that’s what we call it. Former or other popular names include ‘A safe place’ or ‘Out’ or ‘By myself’ or even ‘Somewhere’. " Xander explained.
Giles wrinkled his brow. "I see. So I’m assuming you really have no clue? "
"Oh, but we do. We know that’s she goes out by herself to somewhere safe and that she’s been going there a lot lately, " Willow summarized.
"A lot, you say? I was just assuming she was preoccupied with homework and…similar things. "
Willow shrugged. "There’s her homework right there, " she said simply, pointing to the abandoned book.
Giles looked troubled. "Hmm. This is not good. I’m going to have to have a talk with her. "
"That is, if you’ll be able to find her, " Xander chipped in.
Giles looked over at him, nodding and murmuring, "Yes, if I can find her…. "
"Lemme talk to her first, Giles, " Willow butt in. He regarded her and she gave a begging look.
"Please? I know she’s been drifting lately, but I think she feels like she can never take a break and be completely away from the whole slayage-thing. Everyone needs vacation days, even Slayers, you know. "
Giles frowned. "Yes, I suppose so…"
"Good! Ok, so you agree then. Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll be able to sort this out. "
Giles sighed in admission. "All right. "
~
The two girls were on a walk. It was an overcast day, casting a cool darkness on the whole world below. A breeze shivered through, dipping the trees and ruffling the bushes, and sending the odd leaf scurrying noisily on concrete.
Buffy sighed. It was a nice day. The kind of day that easily allowed your mind to wander.
"So what I’m saying is, even though you got to feel like you can go and do stuff like that on your own, you still have your duties. I mean I’m sure you know that. But-"
Willow was attempting to explain to her friend and was stuttering pretty bad.
"Giles. He’s getting bothered and I’m sure the last thing you need right now is one of his responsibility lectures. So I guess it’s better to sorta get it from me? "
Buffy nodded, gazing across the landscape, listening but not saying anything. Willow tried yet another angle.
"Ok, if not for your slaying duties, what about for your health? I heard you didn’t even have dinner last night. If-if you start-well, skipping a meal isn’t-isn’t good. "
"Actually, I kinda had dinner out, " Buffy said, wincing.
"Oh. " Willow said. Then,
"Oh! "
"What? What was that Oh for? " Buffy demanded.
Willow smiled.
"You met a guy, didn’t you! "
"What? " Buffy scoffed,
"You’re insane. No, of course not. "
But Willow didn’t seem convinced. "You had dinner with him, didn’t you? " she prodded, grinning suggestively.
"No! Willow, it wasn’t like that. "
Her friend gaped at her, smiling.
"A-ha! So it was a guy! "
"What? No! Wait. How did you-how’d you gather that? "
"You said it wasn’t like thaaaat…. but that means it was like something…. therefore it’s true! "
Buffy blinked.
"Oh, just cut it out, " she said, picking up the pace in her step.
"This is so great. You’ve finally met somebody new and are moving on and all that good stuff. But you’re still too unsure of it to tell the rest of us, " Willow fleshed out her story.
Buffy just rolled her eyes. "Will, I didn’t meet anyone. "
"You sure? "
"Yes. "
Willow watched her a moment, and then smiled.
"She met someone, " she murmured to herself.
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AUTHOR NOTES: Um, I’ve never actually seen Dracula, so nit-pickers, don’t yell at me if I did something wrong. And yes, there was one ep were Buffy meets Dracula, ignore that. I haven’t seen it yet. :P Do let me know how well I did the Scoobie’s characters, as I still haven’t seen many episodes, even, heee. :oD