By Jody E.
May 2006
It had been an epic battle, Buffy thought, staring into her untouched glass of wine. Everybody opposed our marriage. But we proved them all wrong, didn’t we? We had 4 years of happiness, and Emily Joyce. Strange, despite our age difference, I always thought that I would go first..but here I am still alive, and Giles is...dead. Buffy looked around. The crowd had thinned a little, but people were still crowding the small living room of the house she and Giles had bought two years ago. Xander and Willow had been hovering over her all afternoon, and she had finally sent them away to get something to eat and leave her alone before she screamed. The funeral had gone well, and there seemed to be plenty of food, thanks to the gang. So many people had come. Customers of the Magic Box, and the Espresso Pump…even Angel, Cordy and Wesley had come from LA The Council of Watchers was here in full force, bloody hypocrites! Now that Giles was dead, they were acting like he was a hero. A little of that support might have been nice while he was alive, thank you very much. She wiped a tear form her eye, as she watched them huddled around the buffet table. She looked into her wineglass again watching the light refract off the liquid. Suddenly, a man was standing before her. She saw polished shoes, an elegant charcoal gray suit. She looked up into a pair of blue eyes under a mop of curly golden brown hair. He looked so familiar but..those cheekbones..The glint in those eyes...My God!
"Spike? Is that you?"
"Hello Buffy. "
"I almost didn’t recognize you. You look so…different. "
"It’s been a long time. Uh...Sorry to hear about Giles. He and I weren’t exactly best friends, but...well, he took me in when they chipped me, and I’ve always respected him."
"Thank you Spike."
"Actually, I go by William these days. Spike is just my professional name."
"Professional name! Yeah...I heard that you were a hotshot New York Detective these days."
"That’s right. Here’s my card." He took out his wallet and extracted a business card.
"Whoa. You have an actual wallet? With actual money in it? "
"Of course…I’m pretty near legit these days. Surprised?"
"Shocked." Buffy looked at the card, smiling at the logo. "Big Bad Investigations?"
"Just the usual thing...fighting demons, rescuin’ damsels in distress, getting’ kittens out of trees, you know."
Buffy raised her eyebrows. "Sneaking around getting evidence on unfaithful wives."
"Well...yeah. Part of the job description. Pays the rent. But I much prefer the demon fighting part."
"I’ll bet." She looked up at him curiously. "Is that your natural hair color?"
William looked down at Buffy’s artfully streaked hair. "Is that yours?"
Buffy gave a little snort of laughter, much to her surprise and chagrin.
"You know, believe it or not, I actually missed your banter."
"Well, that’s encouragin’. That your tadpole over there?" He indicated a small blonde girl who was playing Legos in the corner with a slightly bigger boy.
Buffy smiled fondly, "Yes that’s Emily Joyce. With Alex Harris. They’re inseparable."
"She looks like you." Suddenly Emily whacked Alex over the head with the building they were working on. He started to cry and both children were quickly spirited away by Anya over to the buffet table. "Yep...she’s your daughter all right! And little sis is going to Berkley?"
"She didn’t want to live at home. She’s doing very well. She’s over there talking to Xander."
"I saw her. Actually, she’s the one who invited me in. She’s grown up to be real pretty. And she’s still just a normal kid? No more of that key stuff?"
"Well so far we haven’t come upon any Dawn shaped locks. So I guess she’s as normal as any kid who wants to be an actress. An actress…can you believe it?"
"Well, she’s got the looks for it. If she comes to New York, have her look me up. I know some people in the theater."
Buffy looked incredulous. "You know people in the theater! You really expect me to tell her to look you up? " Buffy shook her head.
"New York City’s a dangerous place. Wouldn’t you feel better knowing that the nibblet was being watched over by Big Bad Spike?"
"You just get that thought right out of your mind, Spike!"
"What’s the matter, jealous?" Buffy glared at him and William suddenly remembered that this was her husband’s funeral. "Sorry, pet. Force of habit. Uh…You know I fought a Fyarl demon the other day that reminded me of Giles. "
Buffy shook her head with a sad smile. "I remember that. God, I almost killed him with a letter opener. Luckily it wasn’t real silver."
"Yeah, I had to kill mine with a cake server. There aren’t many silver weapons out there. It’s too soft a metal."
"Well, you could have used silver bullets I suppose."
"Well, yeah, but first you have to know that you are going to be dealin’ with a Fyarl, and then you have to get the bullets, and a gun to shoot 'em with.. I don't use guns much, as a rule."
"In the book, It, they shot the monster with a slingshot and a silver button."
"A slingshot. Not a bad idea, Slayer. " William smiled. It was so good to talk shop with a fellow professional.
"Uh oh. Here come Xander and Willow. Beware. Xander is in full protecto-mode."
Xander walked over to Spike. "Well, well, well, if it isn’t Spike, as I live and breathe. And you don’t."
"Hello Xander. Willow." Spike said mildly.
Xander took in William and his new look. "That’s some suit. What did you do, eat the undertaker? "
"Actually I went right for Georgio Armani himself. He was yummy."
Xander bristled, "Still got your chip?"
"Think I would tell you if I didn’t? "
Willow interceded. "Xander!" she said in a loud stage whisper, " Remember where we are."
William and Xander both looked at Buffy, who glared at them.
"Sorry Buffy."
"Sorry Buff."
Willow said, "I think you look terrific, Spike. Cordy said that you were doing very well in New York."
"So you two have been talking about me, huh? How’s the adoption deal goin’? "
"What, has news of that traveled all the way to New York? It’s not going. We’ve been on a waiting list for almost two years now."
"Oh. Reason I ask is I know some people at an agency who kinda owe me a big favor. I could put in a word for you. Here give me a call." He gave Willow one of his cards.
Xander said, "So is this a legitimate agency, or are these babies stolen or something?"
"Well, they were stolen, actually, by a demon but I got ’em back! Which is why they owe me the favor." William retorted.
"Thank you so much, Spike," said Willow, "I've got to find Tara." She left.
Buffy stood up and looked at William coldly. "So who are you now, Santa Claus? You have connections in the theater. You have connection at the adoption agency. Tell me, do you have connections with the Powers That Be to bring back my husband?" With that, she walked away into the crowd.
Xander spoke angrily," So why did you have to come back, anyway, Spike?"
"I heard that you were teaching a course in manners, and wanted to take it. Excuse me, Xander, this has been pleasant, but I think I’ll go mingle. " Spike strode off towards Dawn.
Spike stood a little apart from the group of mourners, observing them. He had spoken to Angel, Cordy and Wesley before they left to go back to LA. It was good to see them again. He looked down at the glass in his hand. When his old pal Dracula had said "I don’t drink—wine," he sure knew what he was talkin’ about, Spike thought. Insipid stuff. He hardly ever drank hard liquor anymore, but would have loved a good beer. But it didn’t suit the image. Or the suit. He smiled to himself as the Council of Watchers hit the buffet table like a plague of locusts. Didn’t anyone feed them in England? He had spoken to most of them and not one of them recognized him...even that silly twit who had written her thesis on him. She was batting her eyes at him right now, the silly cow, looking for an excuse to come over. He ducked out of her way, only to run into Buffy who was emerging from the bathroom, her eyes red from crying.
When William had decided to come here, he had wondered how he would react to seeing Buffy again. He knew that after five years his feelings for her might have changed and he feared being disappointed. But as soon as he saw her, in her rumpled black suit, her eyes red and her hair disheveled, he knew that nothing had changed. He still thought her the most beautiful woman on earth and still loved her as much as ever. Of course he had managed to screw it up again. But at least she hadn’t tried to stake him yet.
"Buffy, you okay?" He figured he might as well give it one more shot.
"I’m okay, Sp-William. I didn’t mean to snap at you back there. This has been a long day."
"I know. I’m really sorry, pet."
"When do you go back?"
"Tomorrow night. Flying works if I take the red eye. The hard part is when I land, I have to hang around the airport all day, before I can get a cab."
"Where are you staying?"
"The Bates Motel, or whatever it’s called. You know the one."
"That ratty place? Where Ethan stayed and Faith? I don’t think your suit would approve."
William chuckled. "Okay...I guess the suit was a bit over the top. I forgot how casual it is here in California."
"Anyway. I don’t have a spare room at the moment, what with Dawn back and all, but if you wouldn’t mind the couch, you could stay here."
"Are you sure, Buffy?"
"Absolutely. Giles took you in once. And you came....all the way from New York. I do appreciate it, despite how I’ve acted. I really want you to stay."
"Thanks Buffy. And I don’t mind the couch."
"Unless, of course you’d prefer the bathtub?"
"Only if you still have that Kiss The Librarian mug."
"Uh..You do still have that chip, don’t you?"
Spike sighed. "Yes, Buffy, I still have the chip. I’ve pretty well come to consider it a permanent addition."
Buffy looked at Spike’s face. When he wasn’t being all attitude, he looked almost like a little boy. It suddenly occurred to Buffy that Spike probably hadn’t been all that old when he was changed. Maybe even younger than she was now. Why had she never noticed that before? Spike looked at her curiously.
"I am still trying to picture you with an actual apartment. I suppose you have one of those sleazy bachelor pads with a round revolving bed and mirrors on the ceiling!"
"Actually, I don’t but it’s not a bad ides. Especially the mirror bit...I bet that would be real interesting!"
Buffy suddenly got what Spike meant. She started to laugh. She laughed so hard that the tears came to her eyes. William saw Xander headed their way, thinking that Buffy was hysterical. William quickly pulled Buffy to his shoulder, and patted her head awkwardly, saying "There, there, Buffy…it’s alright. Let me get you into the kitchen and get you some water." He smirked at Xander as he led Buffy to the kitchen.
Once there. Buffy had sobered. "Thanks William. Xander means well, but if he saw me laughing, I would never have heard the end of it." She looked at William, "How could I have laughed like that? You must think I am awful. I loved Giles, you know. I mss him so much. He’s been a part of my life since I was fifteen years old. "
"Buffy, love, laughin’ is good for you. And I’ll never tell."
"I think people are finally starting to leave. I’d better go say goodbye."
William opened his eyes and saw a small face staring into his. It was late afternoon, and he had been asleep on Buffy’ s sofa. An elfin face with a mop of blonde hair. Seen up close, she looked so much like her mother, that William was totally enchanted.
"Hello tadpole." He said.
"Hello. Are you Willyum? " She regarded him solemnly.
"Yes. I used to be a friend of your Mum’s." Well, that was stretching it a bit.
"Why are you still sleeping? It’s after lunchtime already. Are you sick? My daddy was sick. And now he’s dead. "
"I’m sorry Emily. I used to know your Daddy too, a long time ago."
"Why did you call me a tadpole? Tadpoles are baby frogs."
"Oh. I guess I thought that you were a baby frog."
Emily giggled. "I am a baby frog. Watch." She hopped around the room.
"Well, then I was right, wasn’t I?"
"Can you read me Sam I am?" She produced a large Green book from under the sofa.
When Buffy peeked into the living room a few minutes later to see if William was up yet, she was astounded to see him reading Green Eggs and Ham to her daughter.
" I see that Emily has found you. I’m sorry about that. I told her to leave you alone. Are you hungry? I see you left some of your, uh, special food in the fridge."
"She’s not a problem pet. And I’ll be in as soon as we finish the story. Never read this one. Got to find out how it ends."
Emily said, "You have special food? Can I have some?"
"You wouldn’t like it, pet. Besides...as a tadpole you have to eat baby frog food. Maybe we’ll get you some of these green eggs and ham."
Emily giggled. Buffy went back into the kitchen shaking her head in amazement. Was this the same Spike who had tried to kill her so many times? Was he just sucking up to her for some nefarious purpose? But what? Surely he had gotten over his obsession with her. That was years ago. Angel had moved on, surely Spike had also. Could five years really have changed him that much? She saw much of the old Spike in his interaction with Xander, but Xander had started it. Giles had once suggested that Spike’s chip, by keeping him from killing had made it possible for him to consider a different way of life. He was certainly unique. Right now he was wearing the jeans and sweater that he had slept in, and looked downright human. Buffy yawned. She actually felt almost human herself this morning. She had gone to bed as soon as the company had left, leaving the gang to clean up. She had expected to lie awake all night, as she had for the previous three nights, but had fallen asleep almost immediately. Thank goodness. She had so many things to face, Insurance, pensions, hospital bills, The Magic Box, which Giles had owned with Anya. Plus the problems of raising Emily on her own. She was going to need all her strength.
As William drank his mug of blood fresh from the microwave, he looked around the small kitchen. Somehow he couldn’t picture Buffy cooking or doing domestic type things. We’ve both changed a lot in the last five years, he thought. This isn’t the feisty girl who gave me such a run for my money. This is a woman who has faced things most people never see in a lifetime, and has not only survived but has triumphed. No slayer had ever lived as long as she had. No Slayer had ever had a child. He thought of Emily hopping around the living room and smiled. He would have loved to have seen Buffy at that age. He sobered at the thought. If he had seen her in those days he would have eaten her for breakfast, not read her a story.
Buffy came in. "I’m sorry I left you guys to clean up last night. I was so exhausted. I hope Xander didn’t give you too hard a time."
"Nah...we bonded while loading the dishwasher."
"I wish I could have seen it. Just the image of you loading a dishwasher is beyond my comprehension."
"I might say the same about you slayer. Don’t remember you bein’ all Betty Crocker."
"Very true. I learned a lot while my mother was sick though, and after Giles took us in, I learned a lot more. I can actually cook now."
"Yes, you warmed up this blood like a pro."
She shook her head. He was incorrigible..."So when do you leave?"
"As soon as the sun sets I have to leave to get to LA in time for my flight. Have to return the rental car. I should be able to make it. Listen, Buffy, you got E-mail?"
"Doesn’t everybody? I don’t use it much though. Giles was always hopeless with computers. Ours is kind of a big paperweight."
"Well, give me your address. I’d like to keep in touch, uh, if that’s okay with you. "
She considered. "I guess that would be okay. But don’t expect much from me, though. I’m not a letter writer, and my life is going to be very hectic for a while. The council is giving me a hard time about Giles’ pension and…" She suddenly began to cry. "I’m sorry. I forget for a moment that he’s dead, and then it hits me…"
"It’s okay Buffy." He felt helpless before this kind of grief. Had he ever felt like this about anyone? The closest he had ever come was when Joyce had died. And his father, when he was 15. He wanted to hold her, but didn’t dare. They had actually talked like friends, and he didn’t want to spoil it. He patted her shoulder and left her weeping in the kitchen and went looking for Emily and Dawn. It was getting late and he had to say goodbye.