"Time cools; time clarifies; no mood can be maintained quite unaltered through the course of hours."
--Thomas Mann
He smiled softly at her, the same crooked smile that had always forced her heart to speed it's beat. "Buffy. You're looking . . . . . accurate." He rubbed ruefully at his chest and gave a theatrical wince..
Buffy forcibly closed her gaping mouth and glared at him. "So what now, you've taken to haunting around MY cemetery to check up on me? How many times do I have to tell you I don't NEED to be rescued, I'm a big girl, I take care of my-"
"Buffy!" Angel forcibly interrupted her tirade with a slight smile. "I'm not checking up on you. I'm not even here to see you." Seeing her narrowed gaze at that statement he quickly amended it. "Not that I'm not happy to see you!"
"Oh, so you run all the way to Sunnydale from big bad LA, check into one of my regular patrol areas in the middle of the night, and then pretend you're surprised to see me? And what's up with the skulking? Most people would have come out and said 'hey, how are you, need some help with that pesky vamp?' but not you, you lurk in the bushes and watch then jump out and look shocked when I kick your lights out!"
Angel sighed. "Well, I guess it doesn't sound all that plausible when you put it that way, but I'm really not here for you Buffy. I'm not surprised you're here, you always were good at your job. But I have other business to take care of." He spared a glance for her, blonde hair tousled from her fight, leather clad legs still in fighting stance, purple tank top slightly askew. "You look . . . . . . good, Buffy."
She finally relaxed her ready stance, automatically reaching to adjust her hair. "Thanks, so do you. Still pale and broody, but good."
He smiled. She was tougher than she had been last time they'd met. "Yeah, I've been meaning to get some sun, haven't gotten around to it yet."
They stood there in awkward silence for a moment before Buffy remembered Angel wasn't supposed to be here. "So if you're not here to warn me of some imminent approaching evil, what are you here for?"
"Here's here to see me, luv. Jealous?" Angel and Buffy both whirled at the intrusive voice. "Quite the reunion we have here, I'm almost teary."
Buffy and Angel spoke in irritated unison "Shut UP Spike."
Spike took a drag from his cigarette before flicking it carelessly to the ground at Angel's feet. The moonlight reflecting off the mausoleum he stood next to turned his platinum hair to a grayish color. "Angel here came running to chat about a little love note from the past that I suspect he got in his mail bag as well. Isn't that right, ya big cupid?"
Angel leaped forward and pinned Spike against the mausoleum wall with one hand, his other holding a stake at his chest. "Where is she?" His voice was rough, angry . . . and a little worried. Buffy stared at him, irritation becoming concern.
"Angel, what is going on? Who is 'She'? What are you doing here? And why would you be looking for SPIKE?" Her voice was tinged with disgust as she spoke the blonde vampire's name. Spike shook himself free of Angel's grip and adjusted his ever present leather coat. "I'm hurt luv, really I am. Why wouldn't Angel come to see his old buddy Spike?"
Buffy gave him an irritated glance. "Because he hates you Spike, just like everyone else who's ever had the displeasure of meeting you." She returned her attention to Angel, who was avoiding her gaze. "WHAT is going on Angel!" She wasn't asking now, she was demanding, and Angel knew it. She had a right to demand the truth. She was very involved, even if she didn't know it yet.
Angel stepped forward, putting the stake back somewhere in the recesses of his jacket. "Buffy, gather everyone together at Giles. I've got Cordelia and Wesley with me. I'd rather not have to tell this story more than once, and it concerns Giles too." He threw a hard look at Spike. "Go with her. And make sure you make it to Giles, or you won't like what happens when I find you again.
"I'm real scared mate." Spike sneered, but made no move to leave.
Buffy hesitated, than nodded. "Alright. I'll meet you at Giles in twenty minutes. But this better be good." She hesitated again. "Angel . . . .. should I bring-"
Angel interrupted "Bring him, if you can control him. If he's a loose cannon we all might be better off without him."
"Riley does NOT need to be 'controlled'!" Buffy bristled at him. "And I'm bringing him. He's been a help many times to us. And he deserves to be brought into whatever the hell this is." With that she turned and left, Spike tagging along after her.
Angel watched them for a moment, his thoughts and emotions in a bit of a turmoil. He'd been alive too long to flit from love to love. Buffy was, truthfully, his first and only love. And a part of him would always believe her to be his. He'd known Spike too long to not see that Spike's feelings for the petite slayer were decidedly mixed. And THAT was going to drive him crazy, if he thought about it too long. He smiled to himself a moment. Spike had always like strong women. He didn't think Buffy would ever return the vampire's affection, the girl did have some standards, but he really wasn't much happier with her current boyfriend. The former military lab rat just seemed unstable to Angel, who had heard quite a bit about him in long phone conversations with Giles.
As Buffy and her platinum-headed follower disappeared from sight, Angel turned with a sigh and began to head back toward the coffee place where'd he left Cordy and Wesley. He wasn't looking forward to explaining what was going on. It may not be his fault, but he was involved. He didn't think Buffy would take kindly to that. And then there was Giles and Wesley, who may be in danger . .. . or not. He cursed beneath his breath and hurried a bit. God he wished he knew a little bit more.
As Angel hurried toward the waiting Cordy and Wesley, a pair of swirling silver eyes watched him go. They were odd eyes, the figure of the creature they belonged to cloaked in deepest shadow, but those silver eyes glowing like earthbound moons. They watched Angel in silence, until he too disappeared from sight. They closed a moment, a soft sigh, easily mistaken for an errant brush of wind, sounded, the eyes opened once more, blinked, and were gone.
"Unless we remember we cannot understand."
-- Edward M. Forster
Giles sat and surveyed the motley crew assembled in his living room. If anybody had told him a few years ago, a few days ago even, that he, a Watcher, would be sitting in a room with a slayer, two vampires, two witches, a half-demon, a former demon, a soldier, another watcher, an actress, and a . . .. Xander, he would have laughed it off, it sounded like the beginning of a particularly lame joke. He sighed heavily, making a mental note to try to put Anya and Cordelia in different groups, should the need for splitting up come up.
Buffy was perched on a stool, carefully distancing herself from both Angel and Riley, staying close to Willow and Tara instead. Angel's face was impassive, as always, but Riley looked slightly bewildered and hurt, his eyes turning resentful whenever they settled on Angel. Spike lounged on the couch, ignoring everyone, concentrating on the television, which Xander kept muting, despite Spike's loud objections.
No one seemed to want to speak up, though the initial reunion of old friends, and the meeting of new ones had been quite noisy, now the noise had faded to an awkward silence, punctuated by occasional bouts of noise as Spike once again turned the volume on. Finally, with typical grace, Cordelia broke the quiet. "Geez Angel, you drive us all the way back to Sunnydale, a place I was studiously trying to avoid, all so you can talk to Buffy and Spike and Giles about some 'mysterious thing' you didn't see fit to let me and Wesley in on. So now we're here and you stand there like a big dope. So talk! I'm very quickly getting fed up with sitting here."
Xander grinned at his ex girlfriend. "Some things never change, all hail the princess of tact."
"Oh shut up Xander, at least I wasn't sitting there wrestling with Spike for the remote control like a big loser."
"Children!" Giles interrupted what promised to be a long and pointless exchange. "Whatever Angel came here for, we're not going to hear it if your squabbling. So do be quiet. You're giving me a headache.
Buffy sat up and stared at Angel, Spike gave up on the TV and came to stand next to her stool, a vague proprietary aura about him that had both Riley and Angel scowling. Buffy intercepted Angel's scowl and raised an eyebrow at him. "So?"
Angel sighed, slumped unto the back of the sofa, and ran a hand through his hair. "It's a long story . . . . "
Spike rolled his eyes. "Bloody hell, you make things so hard. Yeah, it's a long story, but why don't you tell the short version. I'll do it for you." He turned to face Buffy, pretty much ignoring the rest of them. "Seven hundred years ago a slay-"
"Spike! I'll tell it my own damn way. You don't know what your talking about, so just be quiet!" Angel was obviously furious at having his story taken away from him. He began quickly, in case Spike tried to butt in. "A few days ago I, and I suppose Spike, got a note. All it said was 'Old Friends are Hard to Find. Hello Angelus. I found you, come find me.' It wasn't signed, but I know who it's from"
"WHO?!" Buffy asked, completely out of patience.
Spike once again interrupted, though this time Buffy rather welcomed the interruption. "It's a note from the Slayer who came before you, luv. Long before you. A slayer turned vampire." His voice quieted slightly. "Her name is Katerina. People call her Kat."
Angel glanced at Spike for a moment, sharing his thoughts. "But history, and some rather obscure Watcher books called her Twilight."
"I've read her, or I mean I've read about her. I haven't actually read her. She's not real though! Or at least she's not supposed to be, but then again neither was the Gem of Amara, and that turned out to be real enough so I guess. . . . " Willow cut herself off as she saw everyone staring at her. She cleared her throat and smiled nervously. "Well, anyway, I did read about her. She could be a scary thing, if it's all true."
"It's not!" Spike was emphatic. "Nothing they said about her was."
"How do you know? You weren't even alive when she was turned!" Xander was curious why the vampire was so protective of this girl . .. slayer . .. vampire . .. whatever.
"Because I know, alright? She told me."
"She could have lied."
Angel interrupted before Spike could say anything. "She doesn't lie. Spike's right, the history books are wrong." He turned to Giles and Wesley. "What do you two know about the supposed Watcher wars?"
Giles paled slightly, Wesley narrowed his gaze and thought a moment before answering. "Not much actually. I only began reading about it just prior to my dismissal from the Council, and information about them are difficult to find outside of the Council library. Why?"
Giles shook his head and walked toward the bookshelf, pulling out an old book with a faded red leather cover. "I know enough to know I don't know anything. The council destroyed most evidence of their . . . less than savory acts, the Watcher Wars are all but erased from their records. Asking questions about the few facts that remain in the records about them will get you very quickly dismissed."
Willow raised her hand to ask a question, Giles saw her out of the corner of his eye. "Oh for heaven's sake Willow, this isn't a classroom, speak your mind."
Willow flushed and stammered a bit as she spoke. "I remember reading about something called 'The wars of those who watched, and those they watched.' in something, though I can't remember what. The footnote called it the Watcher Wars. It didn't say what it was though. I remember a line that said something about 'and with them rode the eternal Twilight.' They weren't related to the stories I've read about the mythic slayer/vampire named Twilight though."
Giles nodded at her, as Buffy spoke up. "What were the Watcher Wars then? And what does this Twilight have to do with them?"
Giles sighed and leaned against the bookcase. "The Watcher Wars were . .. a dark time in the Council's history. A time they prefer not to speak of. When the council first began, it was founded by powerful wizards, warlocks, sorceresses, even a few of the more humanity friendly demons. The most powerful people uniting to help the slayer, that was the council's original aim. But along the way, things got . . changed. Somehow the council discovered the secret of calling multiple slayers into duty at the same time. The result became watchers taking slayers as their "pets" Training these girls to do their bidding. They would wield them against kings, queens, merchants -anyone with power or money- like trained guard dogs. If they failed to pay a Watcher's protection fees, then he would send his slayer to destroy them. Eventually the slayers rebelled, led by a vampiric slayer named Twilight." Giles glanced at Buffy. "We don't know much about her, only that when she began the rebellion, there were over thirty active slayers alive. She was the best of them, the most feared slayer of her time." He looked toward Angel and then at Spike. "The Watcher council claims that she was turned by a nameless vampire, and the council had to unite to destroy her because the slayers were too busy revolting to do their job. Somehow, I doubt that's the case. That's all I know." He took his glasses off and absently cleaned them with his shirt collar. "That's all they let us know."
Angel nodded. "That's partially right, but it's a much longer story. When Kat was-"
A new voice sounded from the doorway. "Angelus, you shouldn't tell someone else's story for them. You're apt to get the details all wrong." Everyone leapt to attention, a stake instantly coming to Buffy's hand, Spike and Angel whirling somewhat slower, a look of worry, perhaps even fear in Angel's eyes, and pure joy in Spike's.
A small figure stood in the doorway. Huge silver eyes stared out of a small, pale face surrounded by a floating sea of wild nearly blue black hair. She was tiny, five feet maybe, and slender built, she looked like a frail, fragile child, until you met those eyes. Her gaze was that of a hunter, assessing, cool, powerful. Buffy stared at her and instantly saw something of herself in the small figure. The girl stepped forward into the room, her movements graceful, vaguely predatory.
"But! She's a vampire, and no one invited her. Did you invite her Giles? She can't be in here. Go back out, you can't be in here!" Willow seemed unusually upset over a little thing, considering the circumstances.
Spike laughed and leapt forward. "Bollocks! The normal rules don't apply here, do they Kitten?" He flung his arms around her and swung her around in a warm embrace. "I tried to find you Kitten, where'd he hide you? We didn't know what would happen when Buffy killed him, we hoped you'd wake up, but couldn't find you!"
The girl smiled and hugged Spike back. "We who? You and Drusilla? Oh yeah, I'll buy that one. Dru wouldn't want me to wake up, and would rather dig out her own eyes that try to find me."
Spike grinned. "Okay, so maybe it was just me trying to find you. Where've you been?"
"In hiding, trying to adjust to this world. After all, there weren't any computers, multiplexes, or microwaves last time I was awake." Her voice was odd, it held strange echoes and seemed to carry traces of many accents, yet settle on having none at all. Her silver eyes turned to Angel, who stood warily nearby. "You don't seem happy to see me Angelus, or Angel now, isn't it?" Her eyes flicked about the room, lingering on Buffy. "And neither do your friends. Why don't you introduce us?"
Angel stared at her a moment. "I'm not sure if I want to. How are you Kat, any latent violent tendencies coming to the forefront?"
The girl seemed surprised by the question, than suddenly began to laugh, the rich and throaty sound bringing another grin to Spike's face. "Is that what's got you so worried? That silly rumor?"
"So it's not true?"
She sobered a bit and looked at Angel. "No, it's not. The Master's spell didn't rob me of my soul when he died, or "awaken the beast within" or whatever such nonsense the Watcher's Council began to spread when I disappeared." She glanced at Buffy, than at Giles, and Wesley. "I mean none of your friends harm. The Watcher's Council is still an organization that does many things wrong, but these are not the cause of that." She grinned slyly. "Isn't that right, Rupert? Or how about you, Wesley?" She stared at Angel, her eyes darkening, her expression suddenly somber. "That's not all that has you worried, is it?" Her eyes lowered a moment. "I'm sorry, I thought you'd be happy to see me. Perhaps I was wrong."
Angel snorted in annoyance. "Oh don't give me that beaten dog act Kat, that stopped working on me the first time you knocked me on my ass while wearing that face. You knew very well I didn't want to come back to Sunnydale, and you knew I would be worried. You just wanted to play. You always had a tendency to alarm others for your own amusement."
Kat made a face. "At least I HAVE a sense of humor. I expect your face to crack whenever you smile."
Spike burst into laughter at that, even Giles smiled a bit. Buffy however, was thoroughly fed up. "Alright, that's enough. This, I take it, is the infamous Twilight. Someone, however, is going to tell me WHAT she's doing here, HOW she got in without being invited, and WHAT you all are talking about, and your going to tell me RIGHT NOW."
Spike raised an eyebrow, "Demanding little bugger, isn't she?" He asked Kat in a loud whisper.
Buffy raised her stake threateningly, looking completely exasperated. Kat raised a hand to quell her. "It's alright Buffy. I'll be happy to answer any questions you have, just calm down and listen. I bear you no malice." Spike walked over and plopped back onto the sofa, pulling Kat down on his lap. She gave him a quick glare and elbowed him in the ribs, standing up to perch on the arm instead.
"What do you want to know again? Ahh yes." Kat's voice held a slight purr, like the beast her name resembled. "I am here because I wanted to see some old friends, and also because I wanted to meet the current slayer . .. although I understand there's more than one. How that happened I'd like to hear sometime. How I got in here is unclear, even I don't really understand. It's tied into a very long story that I'm sure you'll want to be bored by in a moment." She smiled. "Does that cover your questions you want answered right now?"
Buffy hesitated. "Yes . .. . but I want to hear it all. And I also want to know why Angel's so worried."
Angel started to say something but Kat quieted him with a look. "All in good time. There are
serious things afoot, but to arm yourself for the future, you should first understand the past."
She quieted a moment as everyone settled into seats, looking at her expectantly, with a deep
breath, Katerina Twilight began to tell her life story, though not in words. Suddenly a life not
there own began to unfold in the minds of all those in the room. They saw scenes from a time
long ago, and faces long since dead and returned to the dust they came from, and through it all
the heard Kat's voice, narrating and showing them a world they knew only through history
books.
I lost track of time long ago, but I was born somewhere in the neighborhood of seven hundred years or so ago, give or take a few decades. I was born a slayer into a world of vampires, and killers. Slayers were ruled with an iron fist by a Watcher's Council gone corrupt, and viscous. Founded with the intention of aiding the slayer in her attempts to control the evil of the world, the Council had wandered far from it's roots. A powerful wizard joined the Council, and together with some of the other powerful casters, invented a spell that would raise more than one slayer at a time. The intention of the spell was to call additional slayers who could fight from different parts of the world, however, the spell was discovered by some of the less . . . . charitable members of the Council, and the spell quickly became a means of raising one's status within the Council. They would cast the spell, locate the girl with another spell, and then take her, training her to be obedient only to him, and to be ignorant of everything except what he decided she was allowed to know.
In the beginning, only one or two councilman did this, than gradually it became the norm, rather than the exception. When I was born, the council was made up of around 50 men, women were no longer allowed, and of those some 40 kept active slayers. Some were scattered throughout the world, we had one in China I believe, and one in America. But most of them were centered in Europe. The Watcher's had branched out from simple extortion to darker things. Many had aspirations of world domination on the strength of their slayers.
My Watcher's name was Stephan. He was low on the Council's hierarchy. He already had a slayer serving him, a young red headed girl called Gabrina. She was mostly the reason for his low status. He was powerful himself, a conjurer of great strength and ingenuity. He had found Gabrina and trained her before he realized that, though she was still a slayer, she was weak. Not very bright, and a little timid, Gabrina was destined for an early death. Stephan knew it, and was none too pleased. He began work on a spell that would not only call another slayer, but would isolate the most powerful one amongst all those girls who had the dormant call.
The result was me. I was barely out of infancy and remember nothing of him coming to claim me. He raised me and trained me to be the ultimate perfect, obedient little slayer. He told me that my powers were rooted in evil, and came from the demon within me. He said that I was kindred with the vampires I killed, and that only his power, and my obedience, kept the evil within me at bay. He taught me to fear the power within me . . . . and to look to him as a savior. He told me that he had taken me from my home to help me, because the village was going to kill me. He told me that I had killed my own parents barely hours after my birth. Years later I learned the truth, that HE had killed my true parents, so that there would be no one left who knew who I was. Around the same time I learned that to train a slayer to believe she was evil was a standard practice for the council.
Stephan taught me that my true name was Katerina, but that I must never reveal that name to anyone, or it would give them the power to release the demon within me. He began calling me Twilight, the name that would eventually become my own.
Gabrina died when I was barely seven years old. She was only 15. Stephan told me that she was weak, and disobedient, and that she had earned her fate. He said that because she had failed him, he had been unable to save her from the darkness within her, and she had died in sin, destined to burn in hell. Gabrina had been my only friend, and when he told me that she had been evil and weak and doomed, I began, for the first time, to doubt him.
I began active slayer duty then, at only seven years old. I was never given a chance to be a child, and by the time I turned ten, I had seen more carnage and death than most people ever see. Stephan had risen to nearly the top of Council, and was highly pleased. At his orders I had slaughtered several slayers, those he told me had gone rogue and given in to the demon within them. The kernel of doubt I had begun the day Gabrina died resurfaced again and again, but Stephan was all I knew, and I did as I was told. I did things at his order than still haunt me. Done under the guise of ignorance, the fault for those things still rests on my shoulders, and I will always feel their weight.
Stephan's first and last mistake came when I was ten years old. An old woman lived in a nearby village. She was a powerful healer and a seer, and had come in useful to Stephan on more than one occasion, so he allowed her to live. Most powerful people, or creatures were either destroyed or banished, this woman was the exception. Many times he sent me to her for a quicker healing, or a reading of the runes, but always with him at my side, never alone. Finally one night, loathe to leave his research, for a healing. I would have healed quickly enough, but Stephan wanted me healthy for a raid on another slayer the next day, so he sent me to her for quicker healing. It was the first time I'd ever been sent there alone, and I sensed a difference in the woman as soon as I stepped through the door to her tattered old hut.
The old woman's name was unknown, though everyone called her Aggie. As I stood there, my arm held limp and broken in front of me, my body covered with bruises, she studied me. Her gaze held power I had never seen, not even in Stephan. She asked me where my Watcher was, and when I told her I was alone, she seemed to transform before my eyes. The change wasn't physical, but suddenly where before had stood a tired old woman there now stood a wise and ancient sorceress. She handed me a potion and watched as I drank it. I felt myself healing almost immediately. I turned to go, thanking her never occurring to me. I hadn't been taught anything of life outside of combat and obedience, even basic manners eluded me. She stopped me with a hand on my shoulder, and a sentence in my ear. Her voice was old and cracked in odd ways, but I sensed truth in her words. She told me, "he does not protect you child, he destroys you."
I asked her what she meant, and she said only that I already knew. I was confused and afraid, and I fled her hut, but I couldn't escape the last thing she said. "Men lie child. In dreams and darkness, there is your truth. Dream, and remember."
That night I slept like the dead . . . . excuse the pun. And I dreamed of the beginning of the council. I dreamed of their fall, their corruption, and of the slayers who had gone from hunters to victims. I dreamed of Stephan, and saw his motives and what he truly was. And when I woke up, I remembered, and I believed. For the first time in my life I left without Stephan's permission or order. I went to the old woman's hut and I told her what I had dreamed. She told me that it was all true, and she told me the truth of where I came from, and what Stephan had done to my parents. As I listened I became more and more angry. Anger was new to me, I had always been trained to control not only my actions but my emotions too, and the fury welling up inside me was exciting, potent, and frightening. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore and leapt to my feet with the growl of a predator, deep and animalistic. Aggie stared at me a moment. "What are you going to do?"
I told her that I was going to kill him, and she stopped me again, with a hand on my arm and asked what good it would do. I didn't understand. Killing was easy to me, there had never been consequences. I didn't understand that it would be different this time, because the kill had been MY choice, MY decision. I also didn't understand that the consequences of those kills would catch up to me in time.
"There are greater things in your future than a rampage of revenging death before being hunted down by the other slayers at the bidding of their Watchers. You will lead them out of the darkness." She smiled then, revealing teeth I really would rather not have seen. "You were misnamed child, you are not the last light before the dark, but the dawn after a long midnight. But you are named, and it is yours. I will teach you, I will make you stronger than you ever imagined. I will give you the strength to do what must be done. And you will give me the one thing I've searched for throughout my long life. You will give me hope."
Aggie took me away to an isolate place that I could never have found again if you paid me. I half suspected it wasn't even on this world. Using arts that I hadn't even suspected she possessed, Aggie kept Stephan from finding me, and I stayed with her for five years, learning the arts of magic. Illusion, conjuring, summoning, I learned it all. I also learned how to read and write, how to fight with more than just my body, how to use my mind and my cunning as well. I studied the art of War from ancient books in foreign languages. Five years passed on the outside, and I grew five years older, but within the meadow our hut was in, time had no meaning. I was there for a day, a week , or a century, learning what I needed to know.
Finally came a day when I knew what I wanted, and had, to do. Aggie knew before I told her. She told me that she had been waiting. She gave me many things, some magical, some not, to take with me, and surprised us both by hugging me goodbye. Than she waved a hand in the air and murmured the words of a transport spell. Suddenly she disappeared and I was standing in the ruins of what had once been Aggie's old hut, where she and I had first met. In the distance I could see Stephan's house, still huge and imposing. And I sensed his presence, and the presence of the new child he had taken as his slayer. A strong child, not as strong as I had been perhaps, but strong enough to be a problem.
A part of me, the part I had worked so hard to learn to suppress, longed to go there, to destroy Stephan and take the child away from him. But the rest of me knew that it was too soon. Stephan was strong, and his slayer would aid him, if I attempted to kill him now. So I left, hoping to avoid either the slayer or her Watcher sensing my presence.
That night I prepared a spell, one of the strongest of those Aggie and I had created. Using the spell I was able to connect with the minds of all of the active slayers. I used it to send them the vision Aggie had shown me, and to call them to come and join me. It was a call to arms, simple and straightforward. I prayed that they would answer, but I suspected it would take more than a simple dream.
I was both right and wrong. Several joined me, but they were young, and the strongest of the slayers stayed with their watcher's, too old and tamed to leave. With the slayers came others, young and full of potential, but still untrained. As I watched them, I began to understand what I truly needed to do. With ones such as these, I would rebuild the watcher's council, and restore it to what it had begun as.
Years went by with little true success. For every slayer who went to our side, another was called, and the cycle began again. The watchers began to use the infant slayers they called to replace their errant girls as hostages. No matter how we searched, we couldn't find a counter spell that would prevent them from calling more slayers. I watched many, slayers and regular humans alike die, and it seemed that it was for nothing, as no real progress had been made. And as we waged our war, the war we had been called to fight, the war against vampires and other such evils, were left unfinished. It was the darkest time in the history of the Council, and of the slayers. But it was a golden age for vampires and demons and other such horrors.
The Council sent thousands of assassination attempts against me, both mundane and magical. They all failed, but I came to the realization that should one succeed, all we had worked for, and all hope of future victory were finished. I had tried to train one to follow me, but I hadn't the time, and I had no one with the inclination to lead. I was twenty years old now, and faced with the fact that should time continue to march onward for me, I would grow slower, and eventually I would be too slow, and I would die. I couldn't afford that, I couldn't afford to lose the flush of youth, it was one of our only advantages. The slayer's resistance would fall apart if I died. An arrogant assumption on my part, it seems, but it was the truth. The younger girls hadn't the training or experience, and the older ones had been under a Watcher's rule for so long they no longer knew how to make decisions for themselves. Without me, all our efforts were doomed and all the pain and death would have been for nothing.
It was another year before I came to the realization that I had to do something. I searched endlessly for a spell to end the production of new slayers, and for a way to stop my own aging until the war was over. I wasn't successful. Another year had brought me no closer to ending the war, and I had no options left. I did the only thing I could think of.
In that time, most vampires lived in family groups. They hunted together and did the bidding of the oldest of them, the one who had indirectly spawned them all. Most such groups did all they could to ensure the continuation of the Watchers' Wars. One did not. Led by a vampire called simply the Master, this group took their cue from their leader. He was very selective in who was admitted into his family, and loathed the majority of other vampires, his own clan aside. He wished an end to the war, so that slayers would again weed out the ranks of unworthy vampires. His arrogance, and power, prevented him from worrying about the slayers eliminating him or his. His clan traveled a bit, but most of them were based near my former home, and in my youth I had encountered fledgling and younger members of it several times. Those meetings always ended with a pile of dust, or a rapidly fleeing vampire. Each of those had been random encounters and quick dusts. Never had I been sent after either the master or his more powerful servants. It hadn't occurred to me to wonder why all those years ago. Now I knew Stephan was most likely being paid to look the other way.
Now though, I left again for the place I had grown up, leaving a young slayer named Rose in charge, ordering here to take as little action as possible to maintain where we were. I went back home, though I'd never thought of it as such, to where Stephan and his young slayer still lived. And nearby I found what I was looking for, the Master's nest.
The place was ridiculously poorly guarded. I found it's center, and it's heart, with ease. I wasn't sure what to expect. I had heard little of The Master other than that he was inhuman looking and very intelligent. He, however, knew me very well. Both by sight and reputation, and he welcomed me with enthusiasm, and without a hint of fear. I was fighting a war against my instincts, which were crawling with the desire to stake not only him but the dozens of minions who were slowly emerging from the shadows. Instead I spread my open hands, showing him that I was weaponless. He waved his family away and asked, in an insanely polite voice, what he could do for me. I told him that I wanted to be Changed.
Changing a slayer was not a new concept. It had been tried several times, with disastrous results. I knew of only three at the time, as I hadn't had access to the Council's library. The first had been young, only eight years old when she was called. She had been turned by a young vampire. They say that the two demons within her, that of the slayer and the vampire, warred for three days, driving her to madness and an impossible pain within her own head. On the third day she drove a stake through her own heart. It was assumed that the vampire demon had been unable to conquer the slayer within because her sire had been relatively weak. The next slayer was older, and well trained, strong in her gifts. But she was tired after an endless battle with a seemingly endless number of vampires. She was weary and tired of fighting when at last a master vampire came forward to fight her. She lost, and rather than kill her he turned her. The result was a slower descent into insanity, and eventual catatonia. Her maker staked her when she ceased to move or speak. The last had been recent, and the most chilling. Madness came quickly, but death came slowly, and before it claimed her she had killed nearly a hundred creatures, some vampires, some human. It took nearly twenty vampires to destroy her. It seemed that the instincts and power that created a slayer could not co-exist with the demon within a vampire.
It was a chance I had to take. I was strong, stronger than all other living slayers, and most likely stronger than most that had gone before me. And I was willing. It was a narrow chance, but I thought that it might make a difference. The other girls had been turned without their permission. Forced to coexist with the demon. I was willing, and I knew more about myself than most people. I knew that many people lost their soul without ever becoming a vampire. I thought perhaps, it was possible to become one and keep it still. It was a desperate choice, but the only one I could make.
I had managed to surprise him. He asked what I would offer in return. I promised him that should I survive, and should the slayers win our war, I would promise him and his family immunity for 100 years. I expected him to at least haggle, but he didn't. Instead he motioned me toward him, and I felt his eyes on my neck. Everything within me screamed to run, to fight, to do ANYTHING except walk toward him, pulling my hair to one side. He offered his hand and I clasped it. "Partners then. United in a common cause." I nodded in response, and then I felt a sharp pain, and my life draining away. I felt myself slipping away when suddenly he loomed over me, his face hazy and uncertain in my delirium. "No turning back brave little slayer. Drink or die." He scraped a tiny dagger across his wrist and held it to my face. I cried a bit, for the first time in my life, and began to feed.
It was revolting and intoxicating, all at the same time, and as I drew from him I felt myself regaining my strength, and then I felt myself becoming more than I had been, a stronger creature. And then I began to feel a part of myself leaving. I felt my concerns for the war, my loyalty to my slayers, all of that slipping away. I drew harder on his wrist as he began trying to pull it away, and at the same time I REACHED. I pulled at myself with all the power of my well trained mind and suddenly I was me again, but a new version of me. I let go of his wrist, he collapsed to his knees, staring at me in something akin to wonder and close to fear. I threw back my head and clung to the truth of what I was, sweating and writhing with the pain of it. The demon swam wildly through my mind, demanding release and control. Slowly I began to overpower it. It felt like hours, but was in truth only moments before I looked up, gasping for air and trembling in exhaustion. But I was me, and the demon was secure within. For the first time I understood what a true evil was, and at last realized what I had known for so many years. I was NOT a demon. I was a slayer, and they were NOT the same. Or at least I had been. Now I didn't know what I was. But I knew that I was ME, and that I had a soul. The other, the demon would always be there, waiting for me to drop my guard. But I had won, I retained my soul. As the Master and his other children watched, I laughed, honest laughter without a hint of madness.
The Master smiled back at me. "It worked!" Again I saw that look of awe and fear in his eyes. I knew then, without a doubt, that in 100 years I wouldn't hesitate to destroy him. I saw, also, that for the first time since I'd walked into his nest, The Master believed I was capable of ending his long life, or un-life. But for now, we were as he had said, united in a common cause.
I left that night, and went to the house of my former Watcher. I stood outside his house, considering my options. I had forgotten I wouldn't be able to go inside. Frustrated, I reached for the door and swung it open, sliding my arm into the doorway in the process. I frowned when I met no resistance and stepped forward, moving slowly until I realized that there was nothing stopping me. This was when I first began to realize that I was more than what I had thought I was. I touched a cross on the wall by the doorway, expecting my hand to sizzle, but there was nothing. I began to understand. My slayer blood had mixed with the vampire in a way that was unheard of. I had the strengths of a slayer and a vampire, and none of their weaknesses . .. . or at least none so far. My discoveries were interrupted by a noise. I looked up, ashamed to be caught standing unaware, something I hadn't done since childhood. Before me stood a very pretty petite brunette girl, a stake in one hand, a cross in the other. Her eyes were wide as she stared at me, my hand still lingering on the cross. "But you're a vampire . . . ." she was confused and a little afraid. But I sensed something else in her. A desire for escape. I recognized it, because it was what I had been, living under Stephan's rule.
"What is your name?" I asked her, watching her carefully. She was young still. Fifteen or so perhaps a bit older.
"Lenore." She was beginning to remember who she was . . . . and what I was. I wanted that to stop. I didn't want to have to fight her, and wanted even less to be forced to kill her.
"Do you know who I am Lenore?" She shook her head, taking a step toward me, still uncertain, but trusting the instincts that told her I was a vampire. "I am a slayer, like you. I used to live here. You sleep in the room in the attic right? The one with the blue stained glass window looking out from the front. My name is Katerina. Some people call me Twilight."
She gasped, halting in place. "You lead the slayers! You're the one Stephan said betrayed him and is trying to kill the Council!"
I looked at her carefully. "Do you believe him?"
She shook her head slowly. "Stephan . .. . I think he is a bad man." She hesitated a moment, than her lips thinned into a face of resolve. "I KNOW he is bad. Evil even. I met a slayer a few months ago, she was named Sabine, or something like that." I nodded. I knew her, she had joined us not long ago. "She told me about what the Watchers had done. She wanted me to come join you . . . but I didn't. I was afraid."
"Afraid of the war . . . . or Stephan?"
"Stephan. Fighting, dying, I've lived under those threats all my life. They hold no terror for me. But Stephan . ... Stephan can make death last for years if he wants." She shuddered slightly. "Are you going to kill him?"
I looked at her, seeing her expression. It was filled with eagerness, tinged with guilt, and a little anger. "Are you going to stop me?"
She shook her head vehemently. "No . . . . but I'm not going to help you either."
She was almost shaking, and in her I sensed an eagerness to kill. "Why not?"
She met my eyes then, and I saw how old she was in spirit. I knew she would not last much longer, she was already dying. Most slayers held on a few years longer before their spirits began to go dead. Hers was already well on its way. "Because I want to. I want to see him dead so badly. My body aches with it, it's all I ever think about. That's why I can't. I can't let that part of me win." She looked away.
I nodded at her, and she left without a word. Both of us knew what she would do. Find a nice nest or group of vampires and attack. And then die. She was finished, and she knew it. I wanted to say something to her, but I had seen that look so many times, nothing could change it. She would die doing what she had been born to do. No one could stop it. Her spirit was too weary of this world to continue living in it. So I let her go, silently bidding her farewell.
I began making my way up the stairs, silently moving toward the man who had set my feet on this path so many years ago. Because of him I was called into duty, because of him I became a slayer, and because of him I became a leader of an army of others like me. Indirectly perhaps, but still he had begun it. And as I looked within myself, I found none of the eagerness Lenore had been so afraid of. Instead I found resignation and a strange sense of completion, and somehow I found that comforting.
I moved through the eerily familiar house. Nothing had been changed, or moved, it felt as if I was a child again, about be punished for a mistake made. Almost unconsciously one hand slid up my back, as if to feel the long thin scars I knew were there. Remnants of my youth, and the frequent whippings Stephan had deemed necessary to controlling the demon within me. Avoiding the squeaking second step, I came to the top of the stairs, and came eye to eye with Stephan.
He stood frozen, his eyes locked on me. His gaze was blank and lacked recognition for a moment, then his gaze changed to one of fearful disbelief. He looked absurd, slippered feet and a long nightshirt. For a moment I hesitated, wondering if maybe I had made this man into more of a monster than he was. Maybe my childhood memories were false. Then his face changed, and his hands rose into the air. His eyes filled with fury and he began hissing the words to a spell I'd heard a hundred times. A spell to summon a fire demon that would attack until it's victim was dead, then disappear. For the right to summon the elemental demon, a newborn boy had to be sacrificed on the new moon in winter once every five years. I remembered then what Stephan was, saw the hate and horror on his face. I leapt forward, moving faster than even I had dreamed was possible. And with barely an effort kicked his legs out from underneath him, grabbed his head and twisted it harshly, his neck snapping. He fell limply to the floor, and I stood, half stunned. It was over, and so easily. The monster had died with barely a whimper, and I felt empty.
I burned him on a pyre outside, watching long into the night, and waiting for sunrise. When it began to creep over the horizon I waited, my newly vampiric instincts howling at me to go inside. Instead I stayed, and tensed as the first rays of sunlight touched my face. I felt nothing save the warmth of sunlight. I was stunned, and overjoyed. I hadn't been relegated to the night after all. I could go out in the daylight.
I waited outside till the last embers of the pyre had died, than I went back inside the huge house and began methodically searching. I went through every book and component, every scroll and note, looking for something new. And, almost to my own surprise, I found it. It was a spell to block the call of additional slayers. It was almost ridiculously easy, save for one element. It must be cast by a slayer turned vampire. It had been created by Stephan, undoubtedly he'd planned to call another slayer, have a Vampire turn Lenore, then have her cast the spell. She should have had lucidity long enough to do that, based on the other instances of slayers being changed. Instead, it had been found by me. My entire life had been because of this, led by the nose to be the one person in the world who could cast this spell. For a moment I felt like Aggie was looking over my shoulder, nodding as the pieces of her puzzle fell into place. I was so angry then, feeling like my own lifelong struggle had been planned and plotted by others. Like none of it was of my own choosing. It was hours before I could calm myself enough to cast the spell. And when I did, I was unconscious for nearly two days. When I awoke it was with a ravenous hunger. Almost without thinking I went to the kitchen and hunted up some food. Mostly dried fruit, as he had little else in stock. I was halfway done when I realized what I was doing . . . and that the food WAS satisfying my hunger. Suddenly my world brightened a little bit as visions of draining farm animals for a bloody meal faded away. The final mark of a vampire, the need for blood, had not taken. I had the strength of one, the immortality, the increased perception, and, when stressed, the ability to shift into the face of a vampire, but I need not fear daylight or crosses and did not need to feed on the blood of living creatures. Time would teach me that though I did not need blood to survive, it would give me boosts of added strength, and was necessary to facilitate quick healing after a severe injury.
I collected the books I thought we could use, and then left, setting the house ablaze behind me to prevent anyone from making use of any secrets Stephan and I had left behind. I returned to the forefront of our war, and began to plan in earnest for success.
For nearly fifty years the wars raged on. The council as it had been began to slowly die out. And we began to build a new one. We found men and women devoted not only to the elimination of evil, but the protection of mankind and of slayers. We drew from scholars, warriors, all walks of humanity, even a few magic wielders. And finally one day, the council's new leader was destroyed, and what remained of the slayers were united under one banner, with our new council firmly behind them, working WITH them, instead of against. The backbone of the original council was broken, and so were they. Though they continued to cause trouble for a bit, circulating rumors of the slayers and their "vampire leader, the eternal Twilight, who destroys all who stand before her" and other such nonsense. Our scholar's and mages created a new spell, one that would weaken the call of the slayer's blood, so that when they slayers began dying of natural causes, replacements would not be called. Within a few generations things would again be as they should have been. One slayer, and a council of Watcher's to assist her, as it had begun so long ago, and as it should have been.
I drifted for a few years, slaying what vampires I wasn't sworn not to, doing my job. In the meantime the Master and his family were growing in power, quickly becoming one of the most powerful vampire sects in the world. They had a group of human followers who worshiped them, allowing them to feed on them in hopes of being granted eternal life. Many times I met up with the Master, or his servants, and was forced by my promise to let them walk away unscathed, though I was able to rescue whoever their current victims were. And many times I sought the Master in his nest, seeking information about what I was. It was an odd relationship we had. Each of us knew that were things at all different, we wouldn't hesitate to destroy one another, yet in the midst of the forced truce a strange kinship was struck. I learned much from him, and bore him a respect I'd never had for a vampire. He, in turn, grew fond of me, treating me as he did his favored children. It was whispered among his family that of all his children, I was the most beloved. I scoffed at that. As the time grew ever closer when I would be able- and obligated- to kill him, he began to draw away. Finally, barely a year before my bargain was up, he sought me out. He asked if I would continue our bargain, and when I refused his ugly, inhuman face grew sad. "Pity." Was all he said, but a moment later, I heard the sound of chanting, and turned to see two priests of a some demonic order I had never seen. As I stepped forward to stop them, they finished their chant and I was hit by a wave of magic so strong I was thrown back and knocked breathless. I lay there, paralyzed, watching helplessly as The Master came to stand above me. His face was sad, yet a bit gleeful too. An odd mix, made odder still by his utterly inhuman looks. "It's a shame that you couldn't have finished your task and then come over to our side little slayer. I've searched for a daughter such as you for centuries. Sleep now, you will eventually learn of your fate."
And sleep I did. For fifty years. When I awoke, a minion of the Master was waiting, and told me what his Sire had done. Unable to bring himself to kill me, he cast instead a spell that would cause me to sleep for fifty years every time I saw his face. At the end of fifty years I would awaken, and remain awake until I saw the Master's face. You see, the Master had come, in the time he saw me, to fear me. He knew very well that I would hunt him when the time was up, and he feared he would lose. With this spell, he prevented me from even searching for him. And so my life became sleep, interrupted by small periods of wakefulness. The Master feared my finding a way to break the spell, and so would only allow me to stay awake for a brief time. Sometimes a week, once as long as three years, and then would seek me out and appear before me. I would fall instantly into a deathlike sleep and he would take me back to an ancient underground temple in the heart of England, where I would sleep in a glass coffin sealed from harm by powerful spells.
During one of my awake periods I met Spike and Drusilla. I recognized them as distant descendants of the Master, as I always recognized my own Sire's kin. I approached them with the intention of finding out where the master was, but I found myself swept up in something I hadn't been involved in . .. . ever. Fun. Spike and Dru were simply having a good time. When we first met, that night happened to not include any killing or anything, and I found myself enjoying my life for the first time in my memory. Almost before I realized it, Spike and I were fast friends, and Dru hated me with a passion. Never one to share, Dru disliked Spike and I's instant friendship, and hated it even more when she found out I was double time her enemy. A vampire with a soul, and a slayer besides. Spike didn't care at all. It was already his friend, and as long as I didn't stake him or take away his EVERY meal, he was fine with it. I, on the other hand, found myself in a moral dilemma, after all making friends with the enemy is against the rules. Spike was with me when the master made his appearance. That was a nice period, that one. I got a little over a year. And all of that was spent with Spike. He went away to feed, and always assured me that's he eaten a murdering rapist, or some other such scum. And I went away to hunt evil, and told him I hadn't done anything. We both knew the other was lying, but we couldn't let it matter. And though I knew what I should do . .. I never did. And because he loved her, I never went after Drusilla either. But when the Master appeared and I fell back into my familiar sleep, it was Spike who insisted on taking me back to my see through coffin bed. And fifty years later when I woke up, it was to see him sitting there waiting for me. I'd never had a real friend before. Spike was the first. To a vampire, a year is nothing, barely a whisper of time. And yet that was all I'd known him for. And still he waited for me to wake up, and helped me avoid the master. We gallivanted around the world, doing nothing of importance, but having a grand time. Drusilla was with us most of the time, silent and disapproving, or loudly insane.
When I'd been awake for half a year, Spike took Drusilla on a trip by themselves for a few months. I knew he didn't really want to, but he did it for her because she begged. Barely days after he left I found another vampire I knew was of my same line. Tall and dark and serious, he was as different from Spike as night to day, but I was drawn to him anyway. We were kindred. Haunted by our own deeds. I learned that he was the infamous Angelus, Drusilla's sire and Spike's one-time idol. I felt the different in him myself, more so even than Spike, who had more of a soul than any other vampire I'd come across. He came to me for help, to learn to live with his soul. How he knew where I was, I still don't know. But in the remaining months we lived and worked together.
Where Spike brought light and laughter with him, Angelus brought meditation, thought, and opposition. In trying to help him, I had to focus on my own sins, and try to help him see how I'd lived with them as long as I had, and to help him see how to live with his as well. Our time together ended with a fight. He was determined to brood and feel guilt for what he'd done, when the guilt was crippling him and keeping him from doing anything useful now that he had a chance to do good. He was furious with me for not understanding, and accused me of being a hypocrite since I'd let Spike live so long. We argued so loudly, neither of us heard the door open, and only when I looked up and saw a figure standing behind him did I realize we weren't alone. I tried to tell him goodbye, but I didn't have time. The last thing I remembered as I slipped back to sleep was the last thing I'd always seen. The Master's face.
The room was silent, and it's occupants blinked in confusion as the images in their minds faded and they returned to the present time. Each glanced at the clock, expecting hours to have passed, but only a few moments had passed. In that time, they had relived a lifetime. Kat spread her hands wide, gaining back their attention. "It's been thirty years since then. I woke up nearly two years ago, when Buffy killed the Master. I've spent that time acclimating myself to this new world." She smiled at Buffy. "Thank you for that."
Buffy returned her smile. "I'm sorry I was so rude I just. . . . "
Kat held up a hand. "No need for apologies. I understand."
Angel cleared his throat. "When the Master showed up and you fell at my feet, my first thought was to attack him. He wasn't alone, but I thought I could at least destroy him before they got to me. I stopped because he told me to go ahead and do it. He said that I wouldn't like what you woke up as." He hung his head a bit. "I assumed that meant you would wake up without a soul."
Spike wrapped an arm around Kat's shoulders. "He was just gassing. Kitten hung onto her soul 'cause she was too stubborn to give it up when the rest of us did. Fat chance of anyone taking it away from her now." Kat smiled at that.
Giles nodded. "Your story explains a lot of what I've read, and I'd love to get an accurate accounting of it all from you sometime . .. in the future of course."
Buffy shot Giles an exasperated glance. "Okay, I understand you wanting to see these two, and I understand how you got in here and all of that. But I don't understand WHY you went with cryptic little notes and brought them all here. AND I don't understand why Angel was so worried. I mean, granted, you without a soul would be VERY bad news, but there seemed to be more behind that than a worry for the state of your soul."
Kat interrupted Angel before he could answer. "I brought them here because I wanted to meet you, all of you. This whole little dynamic. And I knew about all of you. That's how I know all of your names, not from mind reading."
"But, how. I mean, Buffy, Angel, yeah lots of people know them. But me, Xander, Cordelia? How could you know about us." Willow seemed oddly pleased about being known.
"Because the Watcher's Council does."
Giles made a loud "Ah" noise and everyone glanced at him momentarily. Angel just looked at her. "Out with it Kat."
Kat pulled her long hair out from beneath the weight of Spike's arm and settled back against it. "When I woke up, I didn't know how long I'd been asleep. There had always been someone there waiting for me. Spike the one time, the rest of the time some lackey of the master who had the assignment of sacrificing himself to bring me up to speed on life in that time. This time was no different. It was only AFTER I learned that it wasn't fifty years later, it was thirty, and no one had told him to be there, he'd come on his own that I started to wonder about it. Turns out he had worked with the master for only a very short time, and had been turned for a specific purpose. His computer skills. Old vampires often have a trouble adjusting to changes, and the master wanted someone who could handle modern technology. This boy hadn't had the stomach for it though, and so he had left, but not before he found out about me from some loose lipped vampire. When he heard the Master had died he came to try to find me. As it turns out, I didn't wake up for several weeks after the Master died, and this boy, Tim was his name, was waiting. He offered to teach me how to survive in this world, if I promised to stake him when the lessons were over. I agreed, and he began to teach."
"I learned a lot from him. Though far from an expert on computers, I can work one. I know how to drive, I can order food from a drive through, dial a phone, all those other good things necessary for survival these days. He also showed me a surprise legacy the Master had left me. A bank account in the world's oldest bank that was worth millions. He got me id and set me up with a credit line and all. One of the last things we did before he insisted I do what I'd promised him was invade the computer data base of the Watcher's council. In there are records of all of you. Things you wouldn't dream of them knowing are there for anyone with the know how to find."
Kat looked at Willow. "Willow Rosenburg, practicing Witch, one time romantic attachment of a werewolf. Xander Harris, dubious military training, former victim of bestial possession. Riley Finn, Lieutenant in special demon military division. Possibly contaminated with enhancing chemicals."
Each of them gasped in turn, but Kat continued as if she hadn't heard them. "I could go in for each of you, and go into much more detail. Suffice it to say that the Council has been keeping very close tabs on you. They are wandering dangerously close to becoming a force of evil once again. We also found an allusion to what they are planning. It wasn't specific, but I had my suspicious, so I flew to England (An experience I could easily have done without. My medieval mind was not ready for flight.) and snuck into their headquarters. Their security is really laughable for such a puffed up bunch. I found the proof I needed there."
"Proof of what, exactly?" Wesley looked distinctly uncomfortable with yet more disapproval heaped on the heads of his former employers.
Kat looked at each of them in turn, but in the end it was Buffy her gaze lingered on. "The council believes that you are a tool of evil. They think that you will become like the other slayer. Faith? Is that her name? They have decided to eliminate you before you have such a chance"
Buffy smirked slightly. "How do they plan on doing that? They can't even defend their own headquarters, you just said it yourself!"
Kat glanced at Angel. "Someone has convinced them to cast the raseri av fortid on Buffy."
Angel went pale. "Where did they learn about that? I thought you destroyed all the books."
"I did. But I didn't destroy the knowledge. The first council must have passed it on somehow."
Giles interrupted a shade before Buffy had a chance to. "Who or what is this raseri av fortid? And what does it have to do with Buffy or the council?
Angel answered. "It's an ancient Norwegian spell, roughly translated it means "fury of past". Said, by most legends, to be handed down to a powerful mage by Loki, the god of mischief so the mage could punish a Viking king who had mocked Loki. Once casts, it summons . . .shades, demon shadows of your past. All enemies you've faced, these shadow representations of them come from your own memory, and attack you. Their attacks SEEM physical, but in reality are only illusions, and they are destroying your mind not your body. In the end you become a mindless shell, and the caster can offer your soul to Loki as a tribute." He glanced at Kat, who took up where he left off.
"The spell was used once, during the Watcher Wars. A Watcher named Kenneth cast it on a Boonagath demon that he was feuding with. Kenneth wasn't a true disciple of Loki, and thought that once the spell had done it's job he could claim the soul as his own, and thus have his own personal mindless and perfectly obedient assassin, which was a Boonagath's specialty. The spell, however, had some undocumented results. It rendered the Boonagath mindless, as it was supposed to, but rather than remaining mindless, the demons that had destroyed the Boonagath, enemies from it's own past, took control of it's body. The result was a demonic killing machine with all the strength of it's species, and the wisdom and magic of it's former enemies, which happened to include a powerful Illusionist, and another Watcher . . . . . one that I was more than familiar with. I never discovered what it was Stephan and the Boonagath had feuded over, but it was irrelevant."
Kat's strange silver eyes fastened on Buffy. "The . . . demon was a weapon for the Watcher's council, and a powerful one. His defeat was probably the true end of the Watcher Wars, though they lingered on for several years after that. It took a dozen slayers, and several magic wielders to subdue him." Kat's eyes seemed haunted. "Of the dozen that battled him, only I and two others survived. Stephan's cunning controlled the demon, and it was a truly awesome foe. One that any single slayer would not have been able to stop." Her penetrating gaze remained on Buffy, seeing the blonde girl's face pale beneath her tan. "After the war, we searched through every book and document we could find and removed traces of the spell. Anyone alive whom we suspected may know of the spell was read by our mind readers, and the knowledge erased from their memories. It wasn't until my time with Angelus that he told me of the spell he had found. The spell we thought we'd destroyed was still out there, and Angelus while still soul-less had found half of the spell. He had been searching for the other half until he regained his soul. We destroyed his half. And we hoped." She turned to Angelus now. "Our hope was in vain. The spell exists. There is no longer an army of slayers, and if the spell is cast on Buffy . . . . ." The room remained silent.
Slowly Buffy gathered her thoughts and sat forward. "Sooo . . . . if they cast this spell . . . then I'll be attacked by all the nasties from my own past. The Mayor, The Master, The Judge . . . . all the "The" people pretty much."
Kat nodded. "And then some. The enemies you forgot about. The weakling vampires, the subtle enemies who pulled the strings in the background, your high school rival . . . .living or dead their shadows will destroy you." Her voice quieted. "And then they will have the body of this generation's strongest slayer at their disposal. I've done a bit of research into your past. You faced a demon that ascended into it's true form, yes?"
Buffy nodded, Xander's words preempting any response she might have made. "Yup. Big Bad Mayor became big smelly pile of giant snake meat. We sorta blew up our high school in the process, too."
Kat nodded. "These demons would return . . .. both of them. In the form of the man and the snake. And it would likely bring to your body attributes of it's own. Possibly the ability to morph into the "giant mayor snake" though I doubt it. More likely it would have the previous mayor's impervious nature."
Giles took off his glasses, cleaning them on his shirt. "So what you're essentially saying is that if the Council is allowed to perform this spell, than Buffy will be destroyed, or a, at least the um, essence of her will be. And that the creatures that take over her body will be unkillable?"
Kat nodded. "I'm afraid so."
Wesley stood, beginning to pace fretfully, ignoring Cordelia's rolling eyes. "If you knew all of this when you invaded the Council headquarters, why didn't you stop it then?"
"There was too many of them. I have the ability to broadcast thoughts and memories, as you just witnessed, and I can read some thoughts, with great difficulty, but I am no true mind reader. I may not be human, but I am also not Wonder Woman. Even I can't raid the library of a Council filled to the brim with spell casters, and then erase all knowledge of the raseri av fortid from their consciousness."
Spike interrupted, a grin on his face, though beneath it was a worry that had Kat puzzled, and slightly amused. "Where did YOU learn about Wonder Woman, Sleeping Beauty?"
Kat smiled. "My tutor was a comic book fan."
Buffy stood. "So, what? I guess we fly to England and make some Englishmen cry while we rip up all their pretty books? And this doesn't make sense to me still. Why me? So they SUSPECT I may turn evil? Why not cast this spell on Faith, not that it would be any better if this happened to her, but why not cast it on the one they KNOW was evil?"
Three mouths opened to answer all at once, but it was Giles who got it out first, beating Angel and Kat by a millisecond. "Because they know you defeated Faith once. They, ah, know you're the most powerful, and thus the most dangerous."
Cordelia snorted. "By their warped logic anyways."
Buffy walked to the center of the room, her eyes glinting with determination. "Okay, now we've got the whole story. Here's what we're gonna do. Kat, Angel, Giles, Wesley, and Tara; you guys start researching. Kat and Angel can fill the rest of you in on the details. I want to know WHAT they're waiting for before casting this spell. If they could have cast it by now, they would have. I want to know everything I can about it. Willow, I want you to get into the Council's files. Find out anything and everything you can. Cordelia, get on the phone, Willow's laptop, whatever. Find the fastest way to get us to England. No expense spared if it'll take less time. Remember, we have to accommodate Angel . . . ." She glanced at Spike, who raised his eyebrows at her and folded his arms stubbornly over his chest. Buffy sighed. "And Spike. So no sunlit plane trips or convertibles. Anya and Xander, get a list of spell components or anything Tara and Willow . . . and Kat may need. Run to the magic shop and get them, take Riley with you in case you run into trouble. Then go to my house, and your own houses and pack. Dawn and my mom will help you pack for me. I'll call and let them know. If you can, go and pack for Tara and Willow too. Giles can get his own stuff together here. Don't forget weapons, communication gear, anything else necessary." She looked around. "I'm going to go patrol. There's still a nest of vampires that need taking care of, and rumors of something big and ugly down near the old Initiative caves. Everyone okay with this?" Everyone began nodding, moving off toward their various tasks. Riley looked like he might protest, but thought better of it.
Spike stepped in front of Buffy. "Forgot about me luv. What's left for Spike to do?"
Buffy glared at him. "Just help whoever needs helping."
Spike seemed about to protest, obviously wanting to go with Buffy on patrol. Kat came and stood next to Buffy, giving Spike a soft smile and a shake of her head. He grumbled and went to pick up a book for research. "I'm not needed here, the others can work in my stead. I'd like to come with you, if it's alright." Kat told Buffy, her voice oddly shy.
Buffy nodded. "Fine, let's go." She pawed through her weapon bag, pulling out three stakes, stashing two in her coat and handing the other to Kat. She smiled her thanks and pocketed the stake. Buffy shoved her favorite small battle axe through her belt and left, Kat at her heels, and a flurry of activity buzzing through Giles' living room behind them.
They hunted in silence for a time. Three random vampires fell before their strength. Each gauged the other's abilities with the trained eye of a master. The younger found a creature whose talents surpassed her own by a margin so wide she was awed. The older found a slayer whose natural powers were nearly unmatched, and whose control was remarkable for one so young. It was Kat who finally broke the silence as they stood in an empty graveyard, devoid of anything but gloom and corpses.
"The stories and accounts of you are under-rated."
Buffy turned to her. "What do you mean?"
Kat smiled. "You are remarkable. You're strength, your control, your instincts. They are amazingly well developed for one so young. I've seen hundreds of slayers, more than anyone else alive I suspect. Of all of them, you are the most gifted I've known."
Buffy stood for a moment, her stance awkward, unsure of what to say. "I don't think about it much I suppose. I just assumed that all slayers were like me."
Kat shook her head, her black hair shaking in a dark halo around her face. "No. Slayers are not
created equal. I was the strongest of my time because strength of that degree was necessary at
for me to do what I was fated to do. I suspect it is the same with you." She was silent a
moment. "You destroyed the Master Buffy. For one hundred years, no slayer attacked him, but
do you think they left him alone after that? Do you think slayer after slayer didn't attempt to
destroy him? When the Judge first walked the earth, don't you think the slayer of that time
attempted to destroy him? Do you think a slayer never challenged Angelus in the days when he
bore no conscience and no soul?"
Buffy shrugged. "I never thought about it. Part of the time I think I'm just lucky. That I'm on borrowed time. I don't know. It just seems like . . . like I'm never strong enough. Like I'll never have enough time to do what I want to do." She looked away, her eyes automatically scanning the graveyard. "So much of what I do is instinct. Every time I try to pin it down, it slips away again. I train harder and harder, and study, and discipline myself . . . and it never gets any easier. I get better and better . . . and there's more and more of them. More evil, more vampires . . . . more chaos turning my life upside down." Her voice quieted a bit, grew sad instead of angry. "The scariest thing is that I look at Faith, I see the path she went down, and then I look at myself, and I see how EASY it would be for me to follow that same road, or one that runs parallel to it." Buffy grimaced a bit. "And what's even scarier is that I'm waltzing through a graveyard with a stranger telling my deepest secrets."
Kat smiled a bit, a wistful smile, tinged with sadness. "I felt the same way. Do you think I always show strangers a narrated slide-show of my life? You and I are alike Buffy, and I think we both feel it. As for your deepest secrets . . . . I've heard all of this so many times Buffy. The path you speak of, the one your friend went down, it is there for all of us. And many of us HAVE chosen that road in the past. It is easy for us to turn to darkness, easier than regular mortals. Not because we have a demon within us, but because we have power. There are so many more temptations for you when you have that power than when you don't. And in some of us, The Powers That Be granted us power, but not the strength of will to control it." She trailed a hand distractedly through a nearby bush, her fingers idly shredding small leaves as she spoke. "You have both Buffy." She flicked the pieces of leaves off of her fingers, lifting her silver gaze to lock with Buffy's sea green eyes. "I fought a war for a hundred years. I watched slayers die around me, one by one they fell. And all the while, I wondered if what I was fighting for was possible. If slayers were capable of becoming what I wanted them to be. I watched them die, and wondered if it was all for nothing." Kat's purring voice was thick with emotion, her eyes clouded and distant as she remembered again what she had witnessed. "Now, hundreds of years after that war . . . . I find you. And in you I see everything I ever wanted to allow my slayers to become. You're strong, self-reliant, brave. You do your job and you do it well, but your job isn't WHAT you are. You have a Watcher who does what I wish the Council would always do, protects, assists . . . . loves. And you have a life! Friends! Love!" She reached up in an oddly maternal gesture and brushed the hair back from Buffy's neck, her gaze falling to the familiar bite scar. "You've sacrificed everything you have, everything you are, at one time or another. Yet you remain you, and you remain strong. It's taken hundreds of years, but finally The Powers That Be got it right." She smiled. "Perhaps it is odd for you to know this, but you, you are the validation of all I worked toward for so long."
Buffy looked at her, uncertain of what to say. "You- you're wrong you know. I mean, I've done lots of good stuff, but I've made so many mistakes . . . . Angel and I, I mean, it was my fault he . . . do you know about that?"
Kat nodded. "I know. It wasn't your fault. It wasn't anyone's fault. You couldn't have known."
"But I should have. And there's things you don't know. I mean, so much I've done has been the wrong decision at the wrong time. And Faith . . . . I was there and I didn't stop her, and what she did, what she became. I just-"
"Buffy!" Kat's face was a touch angry now. "We ALL make mistakes. We all do things that are wrong. You can't blame yourself for every wrong. It won't help you, it will only cripple you. Guilt and self-doubt will weigh you down. Accept what has happened, and then move on. Learn from what you've done. It was an old cliche, even in my time, but it's true. Every trial we survive makes us stronger." Kat smiled. "Faith made her own choices, and you made yours. For better or worse, they are over and done with, and other times and challenges lie ahead."
Buffy hesitated a moment, than spoke, her voice uncertain. " When I watched your story . . . I saw so many things that reminded me of me. You always did what you had to do, despite the consequences. I haven't always been able to do that. But I want to know . . . Going to England . . . trying to stop this . . . . is this going to do any good? Should we even go, or should we . . . . do something else.?"
"What are you asking me Buffy?"
Buffy made a soft sound with her mouth and pushed her hair away from her face. "I don't want to become . . . . what you said I could become. If there's no way to stop this, I don't want . . . I don't want to come to that end. I'd rather . . . . die doing my job. Faith is back on the right path, even if that path IS in a prison cell right now. And you're here . . . . if I had to let go now, the world would survive a while." Her voice lowered to an almost whisper, her eyes filled with tears. "I just don't want us to wait a little too long. And if there's really no chance of stopping this . . . I want to say goodbye and go."
Kat frowned. "You've given up before we've begun. You are wrong. This world needs you Buffy. Not me, not Faith, you. We will stop them. The spell has never been cast on a slayer, even if it is cast maybe your own will can overcome it. There is always a chance Buffy. Don't lay down and die now."
Both women seemed uncomfortable with the intimacy of their conversation, but oddly, each also seemed content with it. Buffy shifted gears with startling abruptness, resuming her trek through the graveyard, heading for the old initiative caves. "So why did you announce your presence by replaying that fun little movie of the week that was your life? I mean, I know you said you felt kin to me and all, but still. Personal stuff hello! Why did you feel I needed to know all of that right away?"
Kat smiled a bit at the girl's phrasing. "I just felt you needed to know. There are certain, ahh, parallels between us . . . . there are signs. I hesitate to say more until I know more. But Buffy, you are what I once was, a rogue slayer. And the council is becoming what it once was . . . . a controlling and malevolent force. It may be that another war is brewing . . . and that your purpose is to lead another wave against the Council. And . .. . I wanted to get the telling of who and what I am out of the way. It's not an easy story to tell . . . or an easy memory to relive. I wanted to be done with it, so that you know what I know. No surprises."
Buffy nodded distractedly. "I understand that . . . . but me lead a war? That's not what I do . . . . I mean, strategy has never been my strong suit. I'm more of a muscle your way through, bash and crash sort of girl. It's easier that way."
"Easier perhaps, but not always better. Or less painful."
Buffy grimaced in answer. "My mind is not on this patrolling. I think I'm gonna go home and check on Dawn-my sister." Kat gave a slight nod, acknowledging that she knew who Dawn was. "I might as well pack my own stuff while I'm there. Do you ah, want to come?" Buffy silently hoped the other girl would refuse. She needed time to think. And she wanted some private time to talk to Riley about Angel . . . and this whole mess.
Kat shook her head. "No . . . . I think I'll stay here for a few minutes and then return to your watcher's home." Her smiled turned rueful. "After all . . . . this is a nice homey atmosphere for our kind." Buffy smiled and bid the other girl goodbye, heading for her house with a wandering step that wasn't anywhere close to the quickest route home.
Buffy walked slowly and distractedly toward her house. Her mind ran over all the things she had seen and heard today. Her already chaotic life had abruptly spun completely out of her control and she was still reeling from it. Seeing Angel was always a shock, and this time more than usual. Not only did he emerge suddenly in her territory, he brought a dire threat, another untold story from his past, and a beautiful and awesomely capable slayer from the past. No matter how many times she tried to focus on something else- Riley, Dawn, the approaching crisis, anything- her mind kept going back to Angel's face as he looked at the other slayer. It was a look Buffy had never seen before. He looked at her as kindred, as someone who understood him. With Buffy he had been loving and protective. He had looked on her as an equal, but also as something he wanted to protect and save. He had always tried to shield her from the side of him he hated. She had never seen him look at her with that utterly open expression he'd given Kat. He trusted her to see the worst of himself, something he'd never done with Buffy. She couldn't understand that, or why he was so open about it. Buffy knew she wasn't the most perceptive person on the planet, but it had been so obvious that she could see it without trying.
She came into sight of her house, and was unsurprised to see Riley sitting on the front steps,
waiting for her. She tried forcibly to pull her thoughts away from Angel and Kat. As she
walked into her boyfriend's widely opened arms, a final thought came to her, one that wouldn't
fade no matter how much she wished it would. She didn't say it aloud, but it hummed
persistently in the back of her mind. <She's better for him than I could ever be.> She held off on
confronting Riley for ditching Anya and Xander and simply let him fold her in his arms for a
moment, pushing the world away for an instant.
*******************************************************************************
Kat stood silently in the cemetery, her eyes moving languidly over it's surprisingly broad expanse. She spied a small bench beneath a gracefully sweeping willow tree and made her way over to it, sitting softly down and reveling in the silence of the place. She spoke aloud after a moment. "Odd isn't it? Centuries of life and this graveyard, any graveyard, is the closest thing I've ever had to a home. A silent graveyard, the mark of a slayer's town." She directed her attention to the tree beside her. "You should know by now Angelus that hiding from me behind trees never works for you. Either go away or come out."
The silence remained for a moment, and then with a soft rustle of parting leaves, Angel stepped out from the trees enclosure and stood before her. He looked down at her with a slight smile. "You and Buffy are one of the few who can do that you know."
"Not surprising. You are pretty stealthy for a great hulking brute of a vampire." Kat smiled a bit. "Turns out I'm much better at watching you than you are at watching me. I was here watching when you and Buffy had your reunion earlier tonight." She grinned now. "Skulking around graveyards is becoming something of a habit of yours I see."
He sat heavily beside her, leaning forward and clasping his hands together. "Some things never change."
She turned to face him. "But others things do." She stared searchingly at him. "You are very different from the vampire I argued with the day the Master came from me."
He avoided her eyes. "I've been through a lot of things."
"So I've read." The silence stretched out, became heavy and awkward between them. Until finally Angel couldn't stand it. He stood up nervously again, needing movement.
"I'm sorry Katerina."
She looked up, her expression startled. "For what?"
"For not finding you, for arguing with you. For letting HIM find you that day."
She shook her head. "None of that was your fault, except for the arguing. We never did finish that discussion. Do you remember what it was about?"
He looked away from her penetrating stare. "No, I don't."
She sighed. "Yes, you do Angelus. And for all you've been through, and all you've changed, you still know nothing of your own true nature, do you?"
His face darkened. "I know enough."
She shook her head. "Yes, you do know. But you refuse to believe it." He started to interrupt but she stopped him with a raised hand. "I'll not argue this again with you. We debated this over and over again and you never once gave in. I understand you better than anyone else alive ever will Angel, I know of the demon that gnaws at your insides, because the same one lives inside me. But I will never understand your refusal to admit the truth. That the demon IS YOU, just as the demon within me IS me. Until you admit that to yourself you will never truly conquer the dark side of yourself." She too stood, one hand coming up to cup his chin, forcing him to look at her. "And until then, you will always live in fear that the darker half of you will gain control of you, as it did for so long." Angel jerked his face from her hand and turned away.
"You don't know everything Kat."
Her face turned sad. "I know enough."
"You're mocking me." Angel's face was taut, his eyes dark with anger.
"No. Just taking a leaf from your book."
He smiled a bit, the tension of his body easing. "Copycat."
She smiled back, letting their former topic fade into the past. "Why did you follow me here Angel? Afraid I wouldn't come back?"
He shook his head, the slight smile on his face growing genuine. "No. I knew you'd come back. If only to see Spike."
She laughed. "Ah! Jealously rears its ugly head again! What's the matter Angel? You afraid I like blonde and brassy more than hulking and brooding?" Their teasing had a familiar feel to it. Like something they'd done many times before.
"Please we all know you only hang around Spike to get close to Drusilla."
Kat made a face. "Yes. That's it. I've been after Dru all along. Baby talk babble is just so erotic."
Angel laughed loudly, the echo in the empty graveyard surprising even him. He quieted after a moment and they both settled back onto the bench, sitting in companionable silence. Her eyes turned toward where Buffy had disappeared. Angel followed her gaze to the empty space where Buffy had been. The look on Kat's face was odd. He hesitated a moment and then spoke, gesturing toward where she stared with one hand. "What do you think of her?"
Kat smiled wistfully. "She's what I've spent hundreds of years hoping for."
Angel clenched his teeth a bit in frustration. "No, I mean . . . what do you THINK of her?"
Laughing silver eyes glanced at him merrily. "Are you asking me if I like your girlfriend Angelus?"
"She's not my girl-"
"But she was. And you wish she was still." She shook her head. "Two hundred years old and he still worries whether his friends will like his new girlfriend. Honestly."
Angel sighed and sat back. "You make me tired." He'd forgotten how trying she could be, with her pointed remarks, constant teasing, and sudden bouts of deafness that seemed to occur whenever she didn't want to talk about something. He'd also forgotten the simple comfort of being with her, of being with someone who could understand him. He hadn't realized how much he'd missed her. He reached forward and pulled her back for a brief, fierce embrace. "I've missed you Kat. I'm sorry I didn't say that before."
She hugged him back until he awkwardly pushed himself away. She gave him a beaming smile and reached up to brush the hair from her eyes. "And I've missed you. Even while I slept, I missed you and Spike." He grimaced at Spike's name. She ignored it and continued. "For all the chaos and possible horror we face here, I'm glad to have this time with you, with Spike . . . and with Buffy. I wish I had a chance to meet Faith before we faced the Council. Tell me, what is she like?"
Angel frowned perceptively, studying her intensely, ignoring her question. "What's going on Kat? What aren't you telling me?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Listen, I may not have known you as long as Spike or the Master or anyone, but I KNOW you. There's a lot of things your not telling me, but there's something that you're hiding that you KNOW I need to be told. What is it?"
"Don't ask Angel. You don't want to know. And if you keep asking, I WILL tell you. So let it go."
Angel wished he could read minds. So much of what was happening was shrouded in mystery, but he knew with everything in him that Kat was hiding something about this from him. Something that affected not only him, but her as well. And then, as her eyes skipped away from meeting his again, he knew. He didn't know how, but he knew. "You're leaving?"
She flicked her gaze toward his and nodded silently.
"Why . . . . how? What are you doing?"
Kat leaned back, sighing tiredly. "It's time for the changing of the guard Angel. My purpose was to free the slayers and to ensure that the master was dead. I did my job, and the Master is dead through no fault or aid of mine. The war that is brewing now . . . . I will help finish it. And then I will go." She stared sightlessly ahead. "I've seen so much death, so much destruction Angel. I've lived beyond what any slayer is expected to and done things that even you know nothing of. I'm tired of the fight. I was tired the first time the Master sent me into that sleep, and though I've slept for the better part of 600 years, I am still tired. Buffy is all I ever wished my slayers could be. My purpose is done and I no longer have a place here. Buffy . . . . you . . . . even Spike I suspect. YOU are the warriors fate has chosen now. I am a relic from a time long since passed. My war has been fought and won. Yours is just beginning. There is nothing left for me to do that I have not already done. I am not needed."
Angel exploded off the bench. "I need you! Buffy needs you! Hell, even Spike needs you! Your place is with US! And you've done NOTHING. There is EVERYTHING left for you to do. You've fought and warred, but you've never lived! You've never had friends, or gone to school, or done anything that humans have a right to do. This isn't your end, it's a chance for you to LIVE." He quieted a moment and stepped back toward her. "Katerina, you lived an endless lifetime without joy. The only fun and love you had in your entire life came from a soul-less vampire . . . and a soulful one, who was too caught up in his own misery to be anything but a brooding burden. Don't give up before you've begun."
She smiled sadly. "You know, I told Buffy almost the same thing. I told her not to give up before we even began."
"And you were right. And so am I."
Kat's silver eyes stared downward, swimming in tears she would not shed. "Since the day I walked into Aggie's old hut, I've had a purpose. I've known what I was supposed to do. Now, for the first time, there is nothing waiting for me. No homicidal Council or former Watcher, no Master, waiting to send me into nightmare-wracked sleep. I'm am lost." A single tear finally fell down her cheek. "I don't know how to live without fighting. Once this threat with the Council is over . . . . I will be nothing. No cause, no purpose, no battle. Just another slayer." She wiped the tear away. "And I'm afraid of what will become of me then."
He pulled her into another brief hug, feeling in that moment somehow older than this girl, who had lived centuries longer than he. She looked young, sitting there sniffling beneath a tree. Twenty-one she might have been when she was turned, but she looked sixteen. He released her. "You will always have a place and a purpose. There is always a fight to be fought and a place for you to be." He smiled slightly. "And trust me, in these times, and especially in this town, there is always room for another slayer." His smiled faded and his gaze searched her miserable face. "Please stay Kat. Will you?"
She sat up and he watched as she made a concentrated effort to collect herself. In a moment where the childlike woman had sat, the Katerina he was used to reappeared. Aloof aura and cynical gaze back in place, Kat gave him a grateful smile and a quick squeeze on the hand. "We should head back. Buffy will probably be back there soon too." With that she stood and began walking back toward Giles'. Angel followed, well aware that she had not really answered him. He knew as well as anyone how stubborn she could be. He doubted he had convinced her of anything, though he hoped he had. Angel said a silent prayer that someone would change her mind before this was all over and it was too late. As he silently walked behind her, his mind wandered to Buffy, wondering what she thought of all this. He thought of Spike's obvious infatuation with the blonde slayer, and Riley's puppy-dog like adoration. He had no right to dictate to Buffy who she could be with, but Lord that boy-scout irritated him. A single cheerful thought intruded on his brooding.<At least she's not with either of them right now.>