I flashed Zac a foolish smile as we walked onto our ever familiar beach, kicking off our shoes, digging our toes into the sand. I was amazed at how much time passed as we unknowingly ran over the beach, kicking up clouds of sand everywhere, waiting for something more than this to happen. When we were too tired to run anymore, we sprawled out on the ground, the sand feeling like a cloud. I breathed deeply and began to spread my arms and legs, in and out, pretending I could fly. I closed my eyes against the eerie darkness of the newfallen night, pretending like I was some angel. The waves and the gentle breeze provided the perfect soundtrack for the movie I was creating. I had never felt closer to Heaven.
“Abby?” I turned to Zachary, who laid beside me, laughing at me. “There’s no snow on this ground.” I smiled peacefully, satisfied. “That’s no excuse not to make snow angels. Learn to be a kid.” He sighed. “I am a kid. But you can’t make snow angels here, Abby, sorry.” I rolled over, onto my stomach. “Sand angels, then. But, hey, I can dream.” He didn’t say anything, just stuck his feet into the ocean and laid there. I looked up at the skylight, beaming.
“Hey, Zac? Have you ever tried to fly? Or at least thought about it?” He turned to me. “I used to think about it. When I was little. I haven’t done it in years, though.” I regarded my feet. “What do you think it would be like?” He buried his hands in the sand. “I think it would be like singing. It would be simple, and easy. What do you think?” I rose to my feet, enjoying the sight of the waves glistened in the moonlight. “I think I want to do it. That’s my dreaming. I watch birds, up in the sky, all of the time. They have an amazing freedom.” I began to wade in the shallow water, shivering with delight as the waves rushed up against my ankles. I felt Zac’s hand resting on my shoulder behind me, begging me to come back. “Where are you going? There’s nothing out there but a huge rock, Abby. What are you doing?” I turned to him as I felt the water melting me. I couldn’t hold my desire much longer. “To that rock. Just trust me, please?” He shook his head. “No…that’s suicide.” I held my breath. “It isn’t. Come on, it will be fun. I promise. I have a surprise for you.” Letting myself escape him, I submerged my body and began to flow with the steady current, becoming one with the ocean.
When I emerged from the liquid, pulling my sopping body onto the glossy rock, away from the water that seduced me, I turned to see Zac’s silhouette against the blackness of the night, making his way towards me. He hadn’t touched the water in years, not like this. He too pulled himself up, dragging himself along, behind me, as we scaled the large stone. The moonlight above us was blinding and beautiful as I reached the climax, making my weak, aching body stand. I leaned over the steep side, gazing down in splendor. Zac, still on his stomach, began to pant heavily with fear.
My toes hanging over the edge, I spread my arms out, teasing the wind. I was ready to jump. I knew I’d be all right; Zac didn’t. He threw his arms around me and tried to hold me back. I couldn’t give in to him. I pushed him away. “Zac. I’ll be alright, I promise. Just let me go. I told you, I want this.” He backed away, and didn’t try to stop me again. Something inside of him was holding him back. He was struggling with it, but, deep inside, he knew I had to do this. Holding my breath and closing my eyes, I pushed myself bodily away from the rock, into the sky, my arms outspread. I heard Zachary hollering at me as I hit the water, feeling rapture rip through my body like lightning. For a moment, I let myself sail away beneath the water, waiting for the bubbles surrounding me to pop. They never did. Zac jumped in after me, fearing the worst. Upon seeing my body, he took me softly and pushed me up, to the surface, for breath.
“Abby, oh my God, are you okay?” I laughed. I couldn’t help it. Here we were, breathless and free, and he was asking me if I were okay. I had just lived out my dream. At the same time that I was overwhelmed by joy, I was terrified knowing that, now, I could never go back. I had had my taste of true freedom. I needed to be like this forever. I couldn’t go back to my life, trapped, without Zac there. He had given this all to me.
As my laughter faded, I pulled away and began to swim away again, back to the shore. Like a puppy, he followed me until we were both back in the sand, wet and exhausted, lying on our clouds. This seemed like Heaven. He put his arms around me and hugged me tight, as if he were never letting go. It seemed like hours under the stars, in Zac’s friendly grasp, feeling safe. He made me feel happiness. When it was finally time to go, to bid my best friend goodbye, I was left with a newfound hope. Hope that I would be out of here soon, that I would fly again. I knew that I would. Maybe Zac was the only one who didn’t.
Chapter 13-Goodbye
