1. This little girl and little boy were b/f and g/f. Everyday during school the little girl would ask that little boy what do you have in your pants. One day he told his mom that she was asking him that and his mom said tell her you got a rat in your pants. So he goes to school the next day and sure enough she comes up and asks him what do you have in your pants. So he says I have a rat in my pants she lifts up her skirt and says "Gettim Pussy."
2. One day this little girl comes home and has a whole bunch of money. Her mother asks her where did you get all that money? The little girl says well I was climbing up the telephone pole for the boys. Her mother says to her don't be climbing up that light pole them boys just want to look at your panties. Well the next day the little girl came home and had even more money. Her mom asks her where did you get all that money? The little girl said to her mother I was climbing up the light pole again. Her mom said I told you not to be climbing up that light pole those boys just wanna look at your panties. The little girl said well mother those boys couldn't look at your panties I took them off before I went up.
3. One day this guy was laying in the sand at the beach and was covered up with sand except for 3 body parts. The little girl walks up and says What is that? He says that is my eagle. She goes to play in the sand and comes back and says What is that? He says that eagle's eggs. She goes over in the sand and comes back and says What is that? He says That is my eagle's nest. She goes over to play in the sad and he falls asleep. When he wakes up he is in the hospital. He asks the nurse what happen and she says ask that little girl over there. He tells the little girl to come over to him and asks her what happened she says I was playing with your eagle when it spit at me So I broke it's neck cracked it's eggs and burnt it's nest.
4. Ok there was these 3 guys. One had sex with a cow, One had sex with a horse, and one had sex with 18 women. The one that had sex with the cow got finished and said he felt like a cow. The one that had sex with the horse came out saying he felt like a horse. The one that had sex with the 18 women came out saying he felt like he had been playing golf and had just went in and out of 18 holes.
5. ok there was this man and woman. They went out on a date and had a real nice time. They were riding around afterwards in his car and he pulled over and they got to messing around in the car. He slipped his finger into her pussy and she said add another. Then she said add another. Then another. Now put your whole hand in. Now put you other hand in there. Try to clap. She says can't can you. Then she says "Tight ain't it."
6. Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Go ask your mother.
7. How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one. But it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to WANT to change.
Blonde Jokes
1. What did the Blonde say when she saw the sign in front of the YMCA? Look! The spelled MACY's wrong.
2.How do you make a Blonde laugh on Saturday? Tell her a joke on Wednsday.
3. What did the left leg of the Blonde say to the right leg of the Blonde? Nothing they never met.
4. Ok this blonde walks into a barber shop and sits down in the barbers chair. She is wearing head phones and the barber says if you want me to cut your hair you will have to take the head phones. She didn't so he pulled them off and started to cut her hair when he got done she was dead. He picked up the headphones and they were saying "Breathe in Breathe Out."
5. Why does a Blonde smile during a lightning storm? She thinks her picture is being taken.
6. Why can't a blonde dial 9-1-1? She can't find the "11" on the phone.
7. 3 blondes was in a car driving to Disneyland. After driving for 4 hours they see a sign that said "Disney Land Left." So they turned around and went home.
Redneck Jokes
1. Did you hear about the South Carolina redneck who passed away and left his entire estate in trust for his beloved widow? She can't touch it till she's fourteen.
2. What's the most popular pick-up line in Alabama? Nice tooth!
3. Emily Sue passed away and Bubba called 911. The 911 operator told Bubba that she would send someone out right away. "Where do you live?" asked the operator. Bubba replied, "At the end of Eucalyptus Drive." The operator asked, "Can you spell that for me? "There was a long pause and finally Bubba said, "How'bout if I drag her over to Oak Street and you pickher up there?"
4. How do you know when you're staying in a Kentucky hotel? When you call the front desk and say "I've gotta leak in my sink" and the person at the front desk says "go ahead."
5. How can you tell if a Texas redneck is married? There is dried chewing tobacco on both sides of his pickup truck.
