Once upon a time, there were two guys who wanted to pick up women on a beach. One was Italian (Vito) and the other was Russian (Vladamir). Vito had no problem picking up gorgeous women; he was the most popular guy on the beach. But Vladamir had no success. Vladamira asked, "Vito! How do you do it? How do you attract so many beautiful women?" Vito replied, "Well, I'll tell ya! But it's a secret....just between you and me. I don't want my system to become too public." "OK. Its a deal." "You see those potatoes over there? Well, every time I come to the beach I take one and put it in my Speedo. When the women see it they come running from miles around," said Vito. "That's it? I can do that," replied Vladamira. The next day, Vladamir went over to the produce stand and picked out the biggest, most perfectly shaped potato he could find. He then went into the changing room and slipped it into his Speedo. As he walked out onto the beach he immediately noticed that women AND men began to take notice of him. "It's working!" he thought. But soon he began to realize that they were not looking interested but rather upset, almost disgusted by the sight of him. He rushed over to Vito and asked "Vito, what's the problem? Why isn't it working?" Vito replied, "Because you're supposed to put the potato in the front!"