***Morning *** I woke up to Justin’s strong and comforting hands running through my hair. The sun was shining in the window, and I wanted this moment to last forever. "I love you" Justin whispered. I turned to look him in the face to kiss him,and say, "I love you, too." He smiled and returned the kiss. "Is it really morning?" He asked, looking out the window. "Yeah. I wish it weren’t though." I answered, rolling over to the other side of the bed. I sat up, and looked around for my robe. "Who said you could leave?" He said, holding me tight. "I did." Answering him with a sly smile, before kissing him on his nose. "Well, I won’t let you. You’re mine, and I say you can’t leave me." He ordered. "Oh, I’m yours am I? What if I don’t want to be yours?" I asked. He frowned and gave me a puppy dog face. "Oh, Justin. You know I can’t resist that face." I said, closing my eyes. "I’ll prove you want to be mine." He said, pushing me on the bed, and climbing on me. "Uh, Justin, we have to leave soon." Just then, the phone rang. "Whoever it is will die, I could have done it quickly." He said, before picking up the phone. "Hi, Lou." He said rolling his eyes. I decided to let him talk, so I took a quick shower and got dressed. When I got out, Justin was still talking, but had put on a pair of shorts. I handed him a shirt, before packing everything up. I suddenly remembered the ring, and I put it on a chian, as Jusitn got off the phone. Justin pulled my hair back as I clasped the chain. He then turned me around and looked deeply into my eyes. "I love you." A loud pounding came on the door. "Let’s go guys!" J.C. called. "Yes, daddy." I say, openeing the door to him. "Very funny." He said, with a scowl. When I got into I immediately headed for Krystl, who was still half asleep on Chris’s bunk. “We need to talk.” I said, with a muffled smile on my face. “The glow.” She said, quietly. “What?” “The after-sex glow. You have it.” She whispered angrily into my ear, grabbing my arm and leading me to a non-inhabited part of the bus. “How on God’s green earth can you tell that?” “I’m a woman. We know these things. Besides, I probably am beaming from all the sex I’ve gotten in the past two days.” “Not really.” “Well, when you get older, you’ll understand what I mean. But, for now, just for now, act like you’re still happy from your birthday. God, I can’t believe you did that.” She trailed off. “What?! You can’t believe what?” “Sex before marriage. I’d never trust a man enough to do that until we are married.” “You can’t honestly tell me you are mad for what we did.” “Yes, I am, Amanda.” She said sternly. “I thought you’d be smarter than that.” “We are in love.” I returned forcefully. “Yes, but now the relationship has changed. He’s not completely tied down to you, but you are basically tied down to him. Emotionally you will never be the same if something happens.” “Nothing will. You don’t understand. He promised me everything, see.” I answered as I took the necklace from under my shirt. “That means nothing. I have a ring.” “Yes, but a wedding ring and a promise ring are two different things. You are old enough to be legally tied to each other. Me and Justin are not really old enough yet to make the permanent tie, but we are tied.” “Still, means nothing.” She retorted. “When things settle down we will get married.” “Oooh, the final commitment. ‘When things settle down’ basically means ‘I want your body now, but I will wait for your heart’.” “Justin’s not like that he loves me.” “Whatever. Did you ever think what might come along with your dumb decision?” “Huh?” “You know? Kid. Little screaming one that would ruin a pop star’s image.” “It won’t happen to me.” “You so sure?” “Yes, because it’ll just be that one time. We won’t do it again until we are married.” “You can keep him away that long?” “Yes.” “I don’t think so.” She finished, walking away. I didn’t say anything after her, because there was the little voice in the back of my head that said she might be right. For the rest of the ride, we said nothing to each other. It wasn’t until J.C. tried talk to me that she spoke again to me. J.C. wanted to know what was wrong, and I couldn’t tell him. I made up some lie how she thought I was rude to my parents, when I wasn’t. As much of a peacemaker he was, it wasn’t going to help Krystl’s anger. She lightened up, just so it wouldn’t be a cloud hanging over us the rest of the tour, but I knew the truth. On the first stop on the last hunk of the tour J.C. found out what was the matter. He was the only one Justin told. Justin just couldn’t keep it in. I guess I was better to him than I thought. He was bragging about me so much to him, that J.C. told me never to do that again, because he didn’t want to hear about it anymore. Eventually the tour was winding down, and Justin got really weird. There were times when he couldn’t get enough of me, and times I was the grossest thing on the planet to him. I didn’t understand what was wrong. Lou held many meetings with the guys to discuss ‘business’, but I wasn’t quite sure what all was discussed. The guys always left with troubled faces. He wasn’t the only guy who was acting weird. Chrissy got fed up with Joey, because he wasn’t treating her the way a normal person would be. She told me once that he wasn’t flirting with anyone else, but he wasn’t even talking to her. They spent barely any time together, and finally decided to call it quits. But, Justin told me that was not what Joey wanted. He would not shut up about her after the breakup. Lance called Marta at least three times a day, only to talk. Marta called me once after she got off with him, and told me they were discussing the way in which the group was going. Lou was totally mad with Chris and Justin, but the other guys were getting yelled at, too. Lance, just got yelled at how quiet he was at interviews. That was the only problem Lou could find with him. Joey was too flirty and needed to settle down, but for some reason Lou didn’t want to see it with Chrissy. J.C. needed to get his nose out of the contract, according to Lou. They signed it, and there was ‘nothing wrong with it then, so there shouldn’t have been one now’ said Lou. For Justin and Chris the only problem was the women. There was nothing Lou could do about Krystl, and he really didn’t want to split us up, but for the sake of the group, Justin had to make a decision. Lance was pretty sure that Justin wouldn’t dump me, which was a huge relief. We had a week’s stop in Florida, and I think I caught too much sun, because I was pretty sick from then on. The tour ended two weeks later in Ohio, and we were home. I had to have caught a bad virus or something, because the first thing I did when I got home was go to the doctor. I thought it was nothing, because Krystl was also sick. “Amanda, I’m glad to tell you, that you don’t have a virus.” My doctor said, walking into the room “Oh, great. So, I’ll get some medicine and be ready in a few days right?” “Not so easy. You’re pregnant.” My jaw dropped and my heart stopped. “What?” I asked in a barely audible voice. “I’m......what?” “Pregnant.” “How?” “I think your old enough to have gotten the sex talk.” “I know that, but I only did it once.” “That’s all it takes.” I took a deep sigh, and thought I was going to be sick. My head was spinning with a gozillion thoughts. Krystl’s words, Justin’s career, stretch marks, my future, baby booties, my parents, money trouble............... “Sit back, relax. Don’t give yourself heart failure over this. If you don’t want this, there are.....” “No. There’s no way I would do that.” “Ok, then there’s still other options, if you don’t want it.” “No, this is my child. I’m keeping it.” “All right, but before you leave, you need to set an appointment with an obstatrition. I could have the receptionist do it for you, if you wish.” “Sure.” He left the room, and the thought came rushing back. First and foremost was Justin. Everything about him, like what was he going to think, was he going to be happy, and oh, Lord, the worst of all, how do I tell him. The door opening shook me from my trance. “There’s a doctor free now, if you would like to go today.” The receptionist said. “Anything. But, could I use the phone please?” “Ya. Right there on the wall.” She left and I quickly dialed the only number that I could think of. “Hello?” The voice asked. “Chris, is Krystl there?” “Ya, what’s the matter?” “I just need to talk to Krystl.” “Sure, no problem.” “Amanda, what’s wrong?” “I need you.” I cried. “Where are you sweety?” “Deaconess hospital, Dr. Firachi’s office.” “I’ll be there in 10 minutes.” The phone quickly clicked off, and I returned to the examination table. “It’s all set up Amanda. Dr. Alatron is waiting when you’re ready.” “Could I stay here for a while?” “Sure. I understand.” The room was silent and I just started crying. By the time Krystl got there, I was crying uncontrollably. “What’s wrong?” I explained the whole situation to her. She was almost crying with me. “No matter what happens, baby, you’ve got me and Chris.” “Aren’t you going to say ‘I told you so?’” “No.” “Why?” “Because, I don’t want you to cry more than you already are. I’m just here for moral support now.” “Thank you so much.” I said, hugging her so tight. “Come on, let’s go see if that kid’s all right.” She said, taking my hand and leading me to the obstatrition. When we got there, he took a sonogram, so I got a picture of my child to take home. When I got home, Justin was waiting for me. “How’d the appointment go?” “Good, I got some medicine, and I’ll be fine in a few days.” I said, lying through my teeth. “I got bad news.” He said. “I can’t go out tomorrow. I know it’s our anniversary and all, but I’ve got a business thing I can’t get out of to go to. So can we move it up a night?” Even when he was talking, I knew there was something wrong with him. He avoided my glance, and when he did his eyes showed me that his heart was aching. “You mean like go out tonight?” “Ya.” He answered, trying to make his voice happier. “Ok. I just really need to lie down for a while. I’m still pretty worn out from the bus.” “I completely understand.” He said, walking to me, kissing me, and heading for the door. “I’ll see you later, beautiful.” “Ya.” I took a really long nap, and when I woke up, it was time to get ready. I took a shower, and got dressed. I was all ready to go out, when Justin walked into my room. “Amanda, wait. There’s something I have to tell you.” “Justin, there’s something I have to tell you, too. You go first.” “We’d better sit down. This is really hard to say.” We sat down on my bed, and I could tell he was about to say something that neither of us wanted to hear. “I think we should stop seeing each other.” I tried to respond, but he put his hand over my mouth. “I’m doing this for you. I don’t want to have to drag you everywhere, and make you sleep in places that aren’t your home. You need to have something stable in your life, and I can’t give you anything stable. I just came to say goodbye.” The tears were flowing down my cheeks when he finished. He picked up my head, just so his crystal blue eyes stared deep into mine as if he were trying to see though them. I felt my heart speed up as if it was going burst out of my chest. He pulled me closer to him a kissed me. It was a kiss so amazing as if I had never been kissed before. We pulled apart ‘Ugh’ I thought ‘Why did that have to end’. He stared at me again my eyes meet his. I felt my heart skip a beat he brushed his hand down my check and kissed me on my forehead saying “I love you”. He then turned and walked out the door. I longed to follow but I know I couldn’t. Epilogue: Dreams are a wish your heart makes. So be careful what you wish for it might just come true. It did for me. ( From Amanda)