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Well you are lucky! Today PantsCat has adorned her special green Y-Fronts, the ones with the red piping.
"What!",
I hear you cry,
"A cat with pants on her head?", Well ladies and Gentlemen, Yes here is the one and only PantsCat ©. She's a superduper KittyKat. PantsCat's interests are far from those of your average moggy. Every Saturday night Pants likes
to indulge herself with a film. Amongst her favourites is Martin Scorsese's 'Taxi Driver', Travis Bickle's desperate confliction with his inner loneliness has her glued to the set for hours. It's not all serious drama, Pants loves the
all about town comedy of squires Reeves & Mortimer, aswell as of course Mr. Eddie Izzard. |
Pants is an avid Eastenders fan, none of that boring Corry rubbish, she wants action and scandel.
What are her other interests I hear you howl, well she doesn't have any other interests.
Well intoductions over with lets get down to the Kitty Litter:
- NAME: PantsCat
- OCCUPATION:Mooing.
- FAVOURITE FILMS:Anything by Martin Scorsese or "Gangstery", K-PAX.
- FAVOURITE MUZAK:Practically anything except Coldplay and EuroPop
PantsCat would like to say a few hellos at this point: Hi to micm, Claire, Debbie, Anne, Pete and Helen, Heds and Helen and finally everyone on TOTH....
PantsCat mingles with all sorts of famous people, here are a few sightings...
Ben Affleck in a blue ladies dressing gown reading Lady Chatterly to a patch of talking daisies.
Al Pacino doing a Travis Bickle "are you talkin' to me" impression to an Action man figure in the window of Hamleys toy store in London.
David Beckham earning money on the side to support his family by acting as a ventriloquist's dummy on Tuesday nights down the Red Lion. Posh spice has been known to take his place when he has a football game and often makes more sense as a wooden puppet than when she pretends to be a human being.
Ewan McGregor teaching ex-blue Peter presenter John Leslie how to make fresh pasta on This Morning with Richard and Judy.
Michael Winner re-enacting the tricycle scene in the Omen with Caprice.
Andrea Corr actually covering up her KFC bargain bucket scrawny body with some clothes while not flicking her hair around or pouting as if she was god's gift to the world - YOU ARE NOT!
Pamela Anderson looking for her brain.
Kevin Costner making a film that isn't self indulgent and egotistical where he will not end up sleeping with a beautiful women that wouldn't touch him with a 10-foot barge pole if he wasn't famous and stinking rich. He is going to play third extra on the left in the first scene, the one that is killed within 2 minutes of the beginning of the film.
Sting painting a go faster stripe on his brown Ford Cortina.
Harold from Neighbours dancing the fandango with the page three model Jordan, while an orchestra of weeping clams provide the music
PantsCats Final Thought
I think you'll agree that:
- The little pockets that you get on jeans (the ones that sad people hang their thumbs on) were originally designed so that cowboys could house their Russian dwarf hamsters while they were out looking for their moo cows on the American plains.
- I would also like to point out that partings in your hair came about in the middle ages when lice would matt the hair into a path leading towards feeding stations for example your nose or maybe your ear.
You may not think that these things are true but I was shown photographic evidence from none other than Steve Guttenburg from such hit films as Police Academy and Three Men and a Baby while he was unicycling to see Meatloaf in his sugar castle.
If you would like to contact PantsCat please do so HERE
Last Revised: 07-07-2003
