November 10th, 2000 AD; it probably isn't very impressive, is it? Perhaps I should explain: it was a Friday. Hmm . . . yeah, that doesn't help either, does it? All right, I shalt begin at the beginning . . . . .
This day actually started off a little abnormally. Rather than going up to my wonderful History 12 class
[upstairs, Massey Wing,
] [not necessary] I headed down to the now-infamous N-dub band room. I then proceeded to
[?]"Baseball-change"
[?] into my concert band uniform; the frilly tuxedo shirt, the itchy wool pants, and the sparkling-blue vest (and yeah, I suppose it's really not
that shiny . . . really it's not shiny at all). Likewise, my fellow
[band-brethren
] [I like this] were also around, warming up instruments and doing up each other's bow ties. Once all of us were set, we headed out to the (ahem)
beautiful Massey Theatre Foyer.
[A little sarcasm can be good. However, try to use it more sparingly - it has more effect] And then we silently (kind of) waited for our signal to enter the Remembrance Day Assembly.
Now, I don't know which
[?]Ass-clown's
[?] idea it was to march us in, but lo and behold, that's what we did. We marched down the four isles of the newly painted Massey Theatre and played the National Anthem, followed be some "churchish" hymn. Then, we "about-faced" and left - all to no applause due to the solemness of the occasion. We all exited quietly and hastily and bee-lined to the waiting balcony to watch the rest of the assembly. Actually, I lied; I detoured and headed back to the empty band room. I had another task . . .
The band room wasn't empty after all. The three in the colour guard (cadets) were still doing up their uniforms; the piper was also getting some stuffs together. Well, regardless, I left the warm, warm band room and entered the cold, cold theatre backstage area.
I found a chair just off the main stage and took a seat to watch what I could of the slide-show. Eventually the thought came to me that the piper may have set up the chair for himself - his standing by the door helped none. That whole guilty mess aside, the choir ended, and I got up. I blew more warm air into my ever-cooling horn.
[Your story really starts here. You should drop us into the action and show us how you're feeling.] The vice-principal said some final words, and motioned for me to walk out. Damn it . . . . .
And there you have it; Jordan Troja's entrance before he played "The Last Post" on his trusty trumpet (hey cool, alliteration).
[Try not to congratulate yourself on word usage] I stood on the masking tape "x" at centre stage, took a comfortable stance, feet shoulder width - and then I saw the crowd. Total darkness; single spotlight. Don't get me wrong, it was cool and for the past four years or so I haven't had a problem with performing or presenting anything. However, my "laid-backedness" relied on the fact I was just having fun for the sake of having fun. Today just was not the right mood to be flashing smiles and spinning trumpets on ring fingers (and yes, I
can do that). I began playing . . .
[[So, after my third note or so I noticed a bad buzzing coming from my horn; crap. Then my legs started shaking; crap!
They've never shaken like that before. I must say, I really couldn't stand the quiet, echoing theatre . . . needless to say I flubbed royal. I flubbed royal big time! I felt like dying, it was so bad!
]]
[[This is your story. You just tell us what happened. Try to show us from your perspective using description of you, the audience, and your feelings - give us that feeling that it took forever to get through it all.]]
Well, I got out of the spotlight and sat down off-stage on the cold floor. Actually, I lied; I slumped onto my back with the gracefulness of a tumbling rock! I kid you not. I collapsed, holding my forehead, and laughed quietly to myself as the bagpipes blared on (and for the record, the piper kinda flubbed up too).
[[After the assembly I went back to the band room where I found my fellow band people getting their band stuff together in their standard band fashion. Myself, I was lying on the floor of the band room - still laughing at how "crappily" I had played. Sure enough there were the ones that comforting told me "you did fine," and I accepted that; on the other hand
[I also accepted that they were just being nice.
] [Show me this in their words and actions.] ]]
[[This is all pretty good. Use this kind of description for the rest of the story.]]
The whole ordeal left me with a lot of good experience for such an occasion. First off, I won't sit for twenty minutes getting cold; I will stay warm until I am needed. Second, I will stand legs together, so they'll have less chance to buckle. Yeah. If I have to do this indefatigable uncomfortable task again, I'll be fine.
Oh wait! I DO get to do it again! I get to repeat this whole thing in about twenty minutes!
The End
[This is a good choice for a story, Jordan. A few things to keep in mind. Your use of humour and sarcasm can be good for certain types of stories but they detract from the mood! You don't really seem to get going on this story until after the event happened.]
[If you would like you rewrite you are welcome to]
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