THE SCARMAKER
Chapter One: INSTANT KARMA

The Jenny Jones Show Soundstage
Chicago, Illinois 1995

"Where's Karma?" Linda asked repeatedly, like it was some kind of ironic mantra.

She interrogated anyone within eye- or earshot at the Chicago soundstage for the Jenny Jones show. "We go on in ten minutes, WHERE'S KARMA?"

A shrug here, a confused look there, a response of useless concern from most everyone else. Perhaps a few lecherous leers from the greasy stage techs.

Linda Pennyroyal was not a woman to be humored or ogled, especially at a time like this. Her young client, Karma Hartford, had the talent and the presence to be a huge star - the icing on Linda's cake - the Madonna to Linda's Liz Rosenberg. Unfortunately, Karma was having a hard time willfully paying her dues. Karma's problem was that she wanted creative autonomy NOW, and considered the climb to success to be lined with demeaning, insulting jabs to her spirit and intelligence.

Of course, Karma was right. But Linda knew that these things could be weathered, and that Karma would be stronger for it. Linda was forever reminding Karma that even the hugest superstars had to start out by appearing on horrible sitcoms, soul sucking commercials and gaudy variety hour shows. But Karma, of course, wasn't hearing it.

It could be worse, Linda continually reminded Karma. They had started out by fashioning Karma as frontwoman of a glam alternative band called Pomegranate Twenty. After two albums on a high profile indie label in Los Angeles, everyone involved finally succumbed to the fact that the record buying public had some kind of allergy to the band, and nobody would come near their albums.

The Pomegranate Twenty fiasco was followed by a brief solo tour where Linda packaged her client simply as "Karma," where the young musician went to campus coffeehouses and performed one-woman acoustic sets of the Pomegranate Twenty material. Again, nobody cared. She managed to get some good reviews, but no following.

Finally, Linda managed to snag an audition for Karma. The audition was for a lead singer for a bubblegum pop girl band called the Glittergirls. This band would not only make Top 40 pop music, but would be the official "spokesgirls" for the Glittergirls' Rockin' Make-Up Collection and other various sweetly-scented toiletries. On the day of the audition, Karma got really high behind Linda's back. She wiggled and giggled her way through the audition, dressed in a humongous pink feather boa and babydoll dress. Karma won the lead singer position - to the producers, she was a natural.

And now, here, on the Jenny Jones show, the Glittergirls would do a "test" performance before they went into the studio to record their first album. The tabloid talk show's audience would be the Glittergirl's dubious test audience, whose yays or nays would cement or undo the success of the group.

Linda finally found Karma outside the back entrance, crouched in the alley, smoking a cigarette down to the filter and dribbling mascara down her pale young face.

"I'm not going out there," Karma said with a shaking voice. "I'm NOT GOING TO PERFORM ON THE JENNY JONES SHOW!"

Linda tried to sound soft. "Karma, honey, we've come this far. Every performance you do is a rung on the ladder, and where's that ladder going?"

Karma rolled her swollen, smeared eyes. "The ladder's going up, up, up. I'm so tired of you asking me that. Blah, blah, blah. Linda, I AM SO SICK OF THIS."

Linda knelt down to be at eye level with Karma, whose glittery stage costume was already getting filthy from the dank alleyway. She grabbed Karma by the shoulders, and did all she could not to shake her violently.

"Look, Karma. You have a group of singers, a group of musicians, a cadre of dancers and the entire staff of the Jenny Jones show depending on you to go out there and give a performance. They might not like it any more than you do, and yeah, it would be GREAT if this were Saturday Night Live or...or...or...LIVE-AID, for that matter. But it's not. Still, your face is going to be on television, and you have a chance to represent yourself and your talent in front of the whole country. That should mean SOMETHING to you."

Karma pouted up at Linda. "People make fun of bands that are on Jenny Jones. You know that. I know you know that. Everyone's like, 'I saw yo mama rapping on Jenny Jones, ha ha ha.' It's so tacky, Linda." Karma hid her eyes in her fists. "This is the low point of my career."

Linda moved Karma's mascara-smudged fists from her face. "I'm prepared to make you an offer if you'll just suffer through this one performance," she said cautiously to her young starlet. Karma sniffed and crinkled her face at Linda.

"I don't know if this is a good idea, but Karma, if you REALLY want to be famous, I know of a...shortcut."

"Yeah?" Karma replied. "What kind of shortcut?"

Linda paused to gather her thoughts. How to explain this tastefully? "Okay, Karma. There's a man....a very talented man, in his own way...and what he does for a living is that he creates publicity for people. He does things that gets people noticed."

Karma lit up like a Christmas tree fire hazard. "Let's go! Sign me up! We are SO there!"

Linda put a gentle finger on Karma's glossed, sparkly lips. "Listen to me. It's not that simple. This man is paid to fabricate rumors. Ugly rumors. YOU know the rumors are untrue, and HE knows they're lies, and of course, I know they're lies. But for his work to be effective, the public has to believe what he makes up. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

Karma tilted her head like a puppy hearing its first high pitched frequency. "I...think I understand."

Linda rubbed her forehead. She was getting a migraine just thinking about the man. "Listen, Karma, this man has a really high success rate. About 95% of the people he writes rumors about become highly visable, just by virtue of getting a boost from him. But Karma, listen to me. The man is DISGUSTING. What he writes about his clients is equally disgusting. But that's what gets them noticed. If you're prepared to have an ugly rumor follow you around for the rest of your life, if you REALLY can handle that, then we'll pay him a visit. IF you'll just buck up and do the Jenny Jones performance. Deal?"

Karma grinned devilishly. "Deal. Let's go make some trash TV, Miss Linda."

Linda smiled for Karma's benefit, but not for her own. As Karma jumped to her feet and ran to the make-up assistant, Linda became weak and found herself actually having to prop her usually fit-as-a-fiddle body against the filthy brick wall.

Linda considered the deal she had just made with Karma, who was one of the most passionate and earnest young clients with whom Linda had ever worked in all of her years as a publicist and manager. Karma's energy and desire was so strong, Linda couldn't help but feel that she had just sold out her own child.

And that feeling wouldn't get any better as time went on.

But for this one day, Karma Hartford stepped on the Jenny Jones soundstage as Karma H., lead singer of the Glittergirls, and gave the lip synch performance of her life, smiling from ear to ear as she pretended to sing the formulaic, over-produced teeny-bop pop music that was designed to bring the calculated girl group its intended MTV popularity.

Karma worked through the performance, knowing something better was promised to be waiting right around the corner. Something bigger would be waiting, certainly. But if Karma's future would necessarily be better...that would become a matter of perspective.