Emilia: Oh Governor, Captain. Fancy bumping into you.

Captain: Bumping into you is always a pleasure, madam.

Governor: And what brings you to the docks, Emilia?

Emilia: Just seeing off one of my shipments, and you?

Governor: We are here to meet a most presidijust visitor.

Emilia: Oh! What does your guest look like?

Governor: There is little point in trying to describe him, you see he is the most famous spy in all of France.

Emilia: Oh! A famous spy, how useful.

Captain: He is a master of disguise, impossible to pick out of a crowd.

Emilia: This must be him now.

[Shot of a man that really stands out from the others around him]

Spy: Do not tell me your distinguished governorship has made a public appearance simply to greet a French servant. [laughs]

Governor: nonsense your reputation proceeds you monsieur Martin, if indeed it is your real name.

[Monsieur Martin laughs]

Governor: But wait where are my manners, permit me to introduce Madam Emilia Rothchild. She is one of our local exporters, and rumored to speak as many languages as yourself.

[Martin and Emilia speak in some weird language, that they say is Bushman the subtitles are as follows]

Martin: How's your Bushman?

Emilia: Wouldn't you like to know.

Governor: And this is Captain Brogard

Captain: Not to be rude, but perhaps we should continue our introductions in a less public place.

Governor: Quite right, you see one of our locals has taken to running around in his pajamas and frying our every attempt to civilize these people.

Captain: Not to worry, we've taken every precaution to insure your safety.

Emilia: Well we best be off then. Right this way Mr. Martin.

[Then begin to walk off the dock, when Mr. Martin walks into a trap and ends up hanging by his feet. The Daring Dragoon shows up and a fight starts up, the rope holding Mr. Martin gets cut but the Daring Dragoon grabs it and hands it to the Governor.]

Daring Dragoon: Could you hold this Governor [hands him the rope, more fighting]. Island Bellhop Service, let me take your bag.

[The Daring Dragoon steals Mr. Martin Briefcase that was tied to his wrist.]

Emilia: You'll never get away with this!

Daring Dragoon: Sorry you had to see this Miss.

[Daring Dragoon makes his exit, a horse shows up.]

Daring Dragoon: Right on time Nutcracker.

[Jumps down and lands on the horse, then makes a strange face which lets you know why the horses name is Nutcracker, and rides off]

Governor: Welcome to Pulau Pulau.

[Cuts to Jack and Emilia opening the briefcase]

Jack: Flip of the wrist and open sesame.

Emilia: The codes not here

[Searching the case and finds underwear]

Jack: You know this wasn't exactly the kind of de-briefing I had in mind. You're hiding something sister, now come on spill.

Emilia: My in formate thinks that this could be a list of local artists whose work is subversive to the French. If we don't get our hands on that code, the streets of Palau Palau will run red their blood.

[Opening Title]

Governor: I must apologize again for the loss of your briefcase.

Martin: Not at all Governor, I never keep anything classified in it.

Emilia: Then why wear it handcuffed to your wrist.

Governor: No doubt a diversion, eh Monsieur?

Martin: [laughing] Sadly no, I have a shall we say condition which requires me to wear special undergarments.

Jack: A jock strap no doubt.

Emilia: So what brings you to our island paradise, Mr Martin?

Martin: I am simply passing through on business. I will be in your quiat township for but one evening.

Captain: Enough time to paint the town rouge eh?

Governor: But this is perfect, I am having a little suiere this evening. It is my birthday today.

Emilia: How old are you Governor?

Governor: I am twenty-three.

Martin: I am afraid not Governor. You see it is my policy never to mix business with pleasure.

Governor: Nonsense Monsieur, you must come. I have already invited half the island, the better half that is.

Martin: Now, now Governor, we must never let our patriotism lead us to believe that other cultures are inferior.

Emilia: Here, here Mr. Martin, a noble sentiment indeed.

Governor: Forgive me. I mis-spoke, when I said the better half I meant the weathly half.

[Back in the lab]

Jack: Ah there's nothing like the sweet smell of a domesticated women. And I mean that in the most respectful way.

Emilia: Care to try?

Jack: Sure lay it on my baby.

[Emilia picks up a perfume sprayer filled with what she has been making, and spraying Jack in the eyes with it]

Jack: Ow! Oh! Holly Shipwrecked-son of a-ditch digger!

Emilia: It's my latest weapon I call it ginger spray.

Jack: Well congratulations cause I'm blind.

Emilia: Yes it works! Then now we should emerge the infected area immediately.

Jack: Emerge the infected...?

[Emilia dips Jack's head into a bucket of water before he can finish]

Emilia: Don't worry there shouldn't be any permanent damage.

Jack: Was it something I said?

Emilia: Now that I have your attention, let's discuss our party plans.

Jack: Ah no thanks, I've got better things to do with my evening then hang out with a bunch sandwiches.

Emilia: It's the perfect opportunity to get that code from Martin.

Jack: I don't even know where he keeps it.

Emilia: If it wasn't in his briefcase then he must have it on him somewhere. I can't imagine where he'd have it tucked away. Ah unless, he mentioned he wore special undergarments.

Jack: Ah.. he keeps it in the safe with the family jewels oh? Well in that case you're going to have to be the one to pull it off.

Emilia: Pull what off?

Jack: His pants, if you want to be specific. You'll seduce him and get the code in the heat of passion.

Emilia: Why me?

Jack: I don't like brunettes. Look I'm not saying you have to ride pink toboggan, just go far enough to get his clothes off.

Emilia: [Hesitates] Yes, I suppose I could do that for the mission.

Jack: Oh I see what's going on here. Someone's a little rusty. Haven't shocked the corn lately, eh?

Emilia: I beg your pardon?

Jack: Been awhile since you slapped the hog?

Emilia: My dear misguided Mr Stiles, it takes more that a few fifthly metaphors to get a rise out of me.

Jack: Really? I only need one.

Emilia: None-the-less Mr Martin is a male and so are you. So therefore I will listen to any advice you have to give, and if all goes well, I will convince Mr. Martin that I am more than capable of tenderizing the t-bone.

[Emilia walks away]

Jack: What a mouth on that women.

[Cuts to Mr Martins room, there's a knock at the door]

Martin: Enter.

Captain: I brought you some spare underwear until your briefcase is found.

Martin: How very civilized of you come Captain. [Pats beside him on the bed, the Captain ignores this and walks to the other side of the room.]

Captain: Our guests should be arriving shortly for tonight's events.

Martin: I can not stay long, I need a solid eight hours of sleep before I depart for the next port.

Captain: With all do respect monsieur. you are not exactly what we imagined when one thinks of France's greatest spy.

[Martin begins to laugh, then throws knifes at the Captain, but does not hit him.]

Martin: Allow me to introduce myself. I am ... , The Shadow of Death. No living soul has bettered me at my own game, until this morning

Captain: The Dragoon. I too have been mocked by his

Martin: Fortunately for us, the good Governor has presented us with the prefect cover at which to set a trap. Send word out that I am to meet your port at dawn. When the Dragoon stole my briefcase, he did so believing that I had something worth stealing. When he hears I am to be gone by morning he will have no choice but to try again.

Captain: My men and I will be ready.

Martin: And who knows perhaps I can ensnare the enchanting Emilia as well.

Captain: Emilia? What do you want with her?

Martin: Every little thing she has to offer. [laughs]

[Back at the lab]

Jack: There we go. A little something to put us in the mood. [starts some music] Okay first thing you gotta do is show a little leg. Ever see gams like these?

[Shows some of his legs]

Emilia: Is that suppose to be sexy?

Jack: Well you'll wax first.

Emilia: I'm doing my best to take you seriously, I expect the same curtisity.

Jack: Alright, okay. Try this [starts to walk toward Emilia, trying to be sexy] Hey there big boy, is that a baggette in your pocket or you just happy to see me?

[Emilia starts laughing]

Jack: Ah come on I thought you were going to take me seriously.

Emilia: I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Please continue.

Jack: Alright. Secret blow, come on.

Emilia: Dare I ask what that is.

Jack: Face that way. Ready?

[Jack blows in Emilia's ear]

Emilia: What was that?

Jack: You didn't feel a little tingle? eh? A little tiny subconscious jolt of the sub-cockle of your heart?

Emilia: Your seedy tactics would never work on Mr. Martin. He is a gentlemen.

Jack: Oh you know what someone's got a crush.

Emilia: How very like you to mistake respect for affection. He make work for the wrong side, but he still a decent and honorable man.

Jack: He's a guy the only honor he's interested in is jumping on-her.

Emilia: I must be ..to look to you on matters of seduction. It's an art Jack, not a contact sport.

[Emilia begins to walk away]

Jack: Emilia wait. Your right. The truth is I don't know how to act around you. When I first came here I didn't think I could work with a women, until I realized the women I work with is the best agent I've ever known. And as hard as it is for me to say this, the thought of you seducing Martin makes me jealous. I wouldn't want to lose you to someone whose twice the man I'll ever be.

[They lean in about to kiss]

Jack: Emilia?

Emilia: Yes Jack?

Jack: It's your turn. [pulls his head away]

Emilia: Come Again?

Jack: To seduce me. You know say the thing you think I want to hear, like what I was doing to you.

Emilia: Well aren't you quiet the Thespian.

Jack: Oh [laughing] You were buying this? Hey look I didn't mean to give you the wrong impression ...

Emilia: Don't be ridiculous. I was delivering the same caliber performance as you. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to ... ah ... got to get ready.

[Emilia walks away]

Jack: Huh?

[Cuts to the party at the Governor's mansion]

Captain: If the Dragoon strikes like you say, there will be no escape.

Martin: He will make an appearance.

[Governor appears]

Governor: Quiet a party isn't it Gentlemen?

[Both laugh, and Jack shows up]

Jack: Now it's a party.

Governor: But where are my manners, Mr Martin may I present monsieur Jack Stiles. He is an American.

[The three Frenchmen begin to laugh]

Martin: Tell me is it true that your George Washington has wooden teeth?

[Jack joins in on the laughing]

Jack: Tell me is it true that Maria Antronique stuffs her boulder holder?

[More laughter from Jack, the others stop]

Jack: With the thing and the ...

[Three women walk by catching Jack's attention]

Jack: Well I hate to cut this conversation short but I'm chaperoning the Girls Crickitie tonight. So if you'll pardon me.

[Emilia walks through the doors catching everyone's attention. Jack walks up to her]

Jack: I don't know why I bothered giving you advice you look beautiful. You're going to do just fine.

Emilia: I'll have him upstairs in ten minutes, meet me outside of his room. Once I get his clothes off, we'll search him for the code.

[Emilia walks over to the three Frenchmen, the Captain blocks her way to get to Martin]

Captain: Madam Emilia, would you care to join my on the veranda for some air? It's a beautiful night. And I fear that there maybe some less then gentlemanly elements are this affair.

Emilia: No thanks, it's rather nippy out.

Captain: My point exactly.

[Emilia walks past the Captain and walks over to Martin and the Governor]

Governor: Emilia my dear.

Emilia: Governor. [To Martin] I could use a drink, care to join me Mr Martin?

Martin: Madam the pleasure would be all mine.

[At the bar, they are handed their drinks]

Martin: To the women who is more lovely than the sunset.

Emilia: What a lovely thing to say ...

[Emilia falls backward off of her seat, and kicks Mr. Martin in the face]

Emilia: Oh Mr. Martin! Oh no I've broken your glasses! I'll pay for those, I assure you! I've ruined your evening.

Martin: Oh not at all, I can easily go to my room and change. Would you care to accompany me?

[Emilia smiles and nods. Emilia and Mr. Martin walk by Jack on their way out, he is surrounded my the women from before making jokes.]

Jack: So my good buddy Thomas Jefferson says, 'Jack please sign the declaration, you practically wrote it'.

[They all laugh]

Jack: And I said 'Woah woah woah TJ! Not before my lawyer has a good look-see first, you know what I mean?

[More laughter. Cuts to Emilia and Mr. Martin up at his room]

Martin: Here we are.

Emilia: Lovely. Mr. Martin I wanted to reiterate how noble I found your sentiments on equality the other day.

Martin: I'm glad to hear it my dear. Now lets see how you find the rest of me. [Tears off his shirt]

Emilia: Oh my perhaps I should return to the party.

[Emilia makes her way for the door, but Martin gets there first and blocks her off]

Martin: But the party it just about to begin.

[Cuts back to the party, with Jack and his lady friends]

Jack: Anyway [looking around for Emilia] that reminds me of the time... I .. [Jack realizes Emilia is gone] ... I had to go.

Ladies: Oh no!

Jack: Oh please, please every man needs a day to replenish his fluids. Tah tah!

[Walks out the door. Back to Martin's room]

Emilia: I obviously had you all wrong.

Martin: Now's your chance to have me the right way.

Emilia: Mr. Martin get a grip!

Martin: I would, if you would just hold still.

[Jack dressed up like the Daring Dragoon breaks through a window in the hallway outside Mr. Martin's room. Inside the room, Martin catches Emilia, and is on top of her on his bed]

Martin: Would you like to start with an appetizer, or would you like to go straight to the main course?

Emilia: Wait! I've got a better idea. [whispers in his ear]

Martin: A romantic bath eh?

Emilia: But you have to get it started. And lots of bubbles I'm shy.

[Now Martin is in the bath, Emilia walks into the bathroom, without him seeing and grabs his clothing off of the bathroom chair.]

Martin: The tub is filling up, my little ... I can not wait too long.

[cut to Jack outside Martin's room about to bust the door down]

Jack: This is going to hurt me a lot more than it's going to hurt you.

[Jack is about to bust the door down, when Emilia opens the door. They both are thrown back, and now Jack is on top of Emilia on the bed.]

Jack: Shouldn't I meet your parents first?

Emilia: Shhh! He's in the bathroom. But I have his clothes.

[They search through Mr. Martin's clothing]

Emilia: I don't understand it's not here.

[Mr. Martin comes out of the bathroom naked. And is not aware of the Daring Dragoon's presence, due to bubbles in his eyes.]

Martin: That is it. I have waited long enough. [swipes away the bubbles that are covering him. Jack and Emilia both gasp]

Emilia: I'd say we found the code.

Jack: Look at the size of that thing, it must be it's own zip code.

[Mr. Martin gets the bubbles out of his eye's]

Martin: The Dragoon! Stand back Emilia! I'll take care of this!

[Mr. Martin grabs his dagger, and begins to aim]

Dragoon: No, no please don't ... [looks down at Mr. Martin's you know what] ... shoot.

Emilia: Don't worry Mr. Martin! I'll save you! [pulls out her ginger spray]

Dragoon: Make it look good.

[Emilia sprays him in the eyes with the Ginger spray, then sprays Mr. Martin with it. Then the Captain and a bunch of his men bust into the room.]

Captain: Sacrebleu!

Dragoon: Gesundheit.

[Emilia sprays all the soldiers with the Ginger spray. The Dragoon is feeling around and believes he found Emilia, but really it's just a curtain.]

Dragoon: Don't worry Emilia, I got you covered. Have you lost weight?

[Martin is throwing his daggers around trying to get the Dragoon. The soldiers are trying to find the Daring Dragoon. Emilia is copying the code off of Mr. Martin's you know what.]

Emilia: [crouching down to read the code] This is going to take forever.

[At some point the Dragoon ends up outside the bedroom door, and a soldier closes it behind him. Mr. Martin throws a dagger at the door. The Dragoon opens the door.]

Dragoon: Come in.

[Everything goes quite the Captain and the Dragoon are right next to each other, and are trying to hear if they can hear where the other is. Mr. Martin throws another dagger and hits one of the soldiers in the eye. The captain and the dragoon are separated by a group of the soldiers. The dragoon is shoved back into a changing screen, and believes that it's one of the soldiers.]

Dragoon: Sneaking up on me eh? [Starts using his sword on the changing screen] Hey your pretty good, but not good enough.

[Mr. Martin finally gets the Dragoon with one of his daggers.]

Dragoon: All right who threw that?

Martin: Now I have you. This is the part of the job I enjoy the most the killing.

[Before Martin can throw the dagger at Jack, Emilia picks up a vase and hits Martin over the head with it. Emilia then goes over to Jack.]

Dragoon: Ah! [lifts up his sword]

Emilia: [whispers] Jack, Jack. Jack it's me

Dragoon: Lead the way sister.

[Emilia goes out through the door, but leads Jack right into the wall. Now back at the lab, Emilia surprises Jack with a weird wooden figure]

Jack: Hey! What the heck is that?

Emilia: It's a gift from one of the artists we saved. Thanks to our little decoding everyone on the hit list is safe.

Jack: Oh great, now who's going to protect us from their art?

[Jack has some trouble putting the badge on his arm from the dagger Martin threw at him. So Emilia helps him.]

Jack: Oh thanks. By the way, you scrubbed up pretty well tonight.

Emilia: You were right Jack. Martin was no gentlemen at all.

Jack: I was right about something else too. You are the best agent I've ever worked with. Remember when we were just practicing earlier?

[Emilia nods]

Jack: I ah .. didn't mean to hurt your feelings.

Emilia: The truth is Jack, when you said what you said, my heart skipped a beat.

Jack: It did?

Emilia: I've played the part of a proper English lady all my life, I didn't realize how suffocated I felt, until I met you.

Jack: You didn't?

Emilia: I want to let go Jack.

Jack: You do?

Emilia: I want you to give me a tour of life's pleasures.

Jack: Oh all aboard baby.

Emilia: [whispers] Jack. Now we're even.

[End Credits]