"Doctor, I have an ear ache."
2000 B.C.E.- "Here, eat this root."
1000 B.C.E.- "That root is pagan, say this prayer."
1850 C.E.- "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
1940 C.E.- "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
1985 C.E.- "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
2000 C.E.- "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"

Top 10 Pick-up lines for pagans to use at Beltane

10. Hey babe, what's your sign? What's it's ascendant? What is your planet alignment in Venus during Cancer's revolving around the Fourth House?
9. Read any good Llewellyn Books lately?
8. Would you like to come over to my place and widdershins?
7. Haven't I seen you someplace before in another life?
6. Yes, I'm handfasted, but that's not "technically" marriage.
5. So, do you draw down the moon here often?
4. What's a nymph Goddess like you doing in a place like this?
3. You have the prettiest third eye I've ever seen.
2. You're feet must be tired because you've been Spiral Dancing in my mind all night long.
1. Is that a May Pole in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

If Bill Gates wrote a book on Wicca...

1. The book would be called Windows to the Goddess.
2. Iconology was be a major chapter.
3. A revised edition would be released approximately every 6 months without which your magic would no longer work.
4. Your broom would crash at least once a week.
5. Cauldrons would be called recycle bins.
6.A book of shadows would be called the folder of magic.
7. A free high speed connection spell would come with every book.
8. Ever now and then, your circle would collapse and you would have to perform the reboot ritual to get it working.
9. If you used the more powerful MagicNT rituals, the above would happen to all circles within a 5 mile radius.