10. "I learned how to make a stoplight change!"
9. "Can you teach me how to make a raincloud?"
8. "Well, I saw this really cool Ricky Lake show..."
7. "Will you be in my coven?"
6. "What do you mean I'm not in ceremonial clothing?"
5. "You mean that you don't have a familiar?"
4. "I studied the Necronomicon. It was pretty cool, sitting right there in Waldenbooks. I just had to summon Cthulu!"
3. "I sometimes hear voices in my head... They tell me that the Goddess is watching me and that my parents are the freaks."
2. "I'm an expert in the field of..."
1. "I'm a warlock!" (Said with a ignorant smile)

10 Ways to make a Pagan Mad...

1. Ask them if they are Satan worshipers.
2. Be considerate, re-arrange their altar so it will look neat.
3. Blow out their altar candle if it is still day light.
4. Pick up their tools for a closer look.
5. Sharpen their dull black-handled knife.
6. Witness to them about the "true religion".
7. Untie the knots in their cord.
8. Take hold of their jewelry for a closer look.
9. Play card games with their Tarot cards.
10. Ask them if they are Satan worshipers

You finally know you are a witch when:

1. Your BOS has spots on the pages from spilled brews.
2. When cleaning house you have to specify. "Where is the broom? No, not THE broom, where is the one to clean the floor with?"
3. Candle wax has dripped on your keyboard.
4. There are more jars of strange smelling plants in your cupboards than there are cereal boxes.
5. Friends know they can always give you candles and incense as a gift.
6. When watching old re-runs of Bewitched, you find you side with Samantha's mother Endora.
7. When travelling, weirder and weirder strangers tell you their problems.
8. You find yourself making corn dollies in the checkout line at the grocery store.
9. You ask for Halloween off, because it's a religious holiday.
10. You start answering the phone with "Merry Meet".

How to tell if you're a Techno Pagan:

• You call your corners on a cellular phone
• You've had to remove candle wax off your keyboard
• You charge your ritual tools- with a Visa
• You use a remote control in place of an athame
• You download your book of shadows
• You cast your circle in a chat room
• Your familiar is a mouse
• You attend ritual skyclad because it's too much trouble to get dressed for a computer.
• Your Yule ritual involves defragmentation
• Your altar cloth is a mouse pad
• Your cauldron is a crock-pot
• Your cone of power has a surge protector
• Your magical name, e-mail address, and screen name are all the same.
• You end a circle with Ctrl-Alt-Del

You Might Be Pagan If...

1. When you're sworn in in court, you bring your own grimoire.
2. You've been seen talking to cats. They talk back. You understand what they're saying.
3. When asked if you believe in God, you ask, "Which one?"
4. You know what "widdershins" means.You apply it.
5. You have an entire spice cabinet and you don't cook. You know that laurel and bay leaves are the same thing.
6. You have a frequent buyer card at the local antique bookstore. The proprietor of said bookstore picks out anything to do with the Celts and saves it for you.
7. You think Mercedes Lackey should be a cultural icon.
8. You know that there are exceptions to the laws of physics. You've caused them.
9. The first thing your guests say is, "My, that's a nice...altar...you have there."
10. On Halloween, you yell "Happy New Year!" at passers-by.
11. You know that Christmas trees were originally pagan symbols. That's why you bought one.
12. You have friends who say they are elves. You believe them.
13. You commit blasphemy in the plural.
14. Upon dying, your first thought is, "Darn it, not AGAIN."
15. When you say "Mother Nature," you don't mean it in an anthropomorphic way.
16. Gaia is NOT the lady on Captain Planet.
17. You think The Mists of Avalon should be a religious text. You use it as such.
18. In Religion 100, you were disappointed because they didn't cover YOUR gods.
19. You know that there is a right way and a wrong way to draw a pentacle. You can explain the difference.
20. You've spent the last year and a half looking for a familiar.
21. You talk to trees. They talk back.
22. You know dragons and fae exist. You've seen them.
23. Painting yourself blue, spiking your hair, and dancing naked around a bonfire sounds like large amounts of fun.
24. You've seen "The Craft." You know where they were making stuff up in "The Craft." You have explained this to other people. You can do it better than they did it in "The Craft." You know it's a load of crap.
25. You understand the symbolism behind a maypole.
26. You've ever ended a phone call with "So mote it be."
27. Your children go around telling people that "the Goddess loves you."
28. You're reading this page. You understand what it's talking about. You have more to add.