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This one came from The Blessed Bee (with a slight change):

The Anti-Serenity Prayer

Gods grant me the anxiety
to try to control the things I cannot control,
the fear to avoid the things I can,
and the neurosis to deny the difference.

The Pope's Bad News

Bishop to Pope: "I have good news and bad news."
Pope: "What's the good news?
Bishop: "God is Alive."
Pope: "That's very good news, what's the bad news?"
Bishop: "She is dancing with the Witches at Fort Hood."

Why M&Ms Are Pagan:

  • MM = Merry Meet
  • Round shape for wheel of the year, cycle of seasons
  • Skins are different colors, but the inside is the same chocolate, because we are all related.
  • Associations with the colors: Red = South; Green = West; Dark Brown = North; Yellow = East; Orange = For the Solar God; Light Brown = For the Earth Mother
  • Rotate the M & M:
    • M = 13th letter of alphabet, and there are 13 witches in a coven
    • 3 = Triple Goddess, three phases of moon
    • W = Witchcraft, Wiccan
    • E = Enlightenment, Enchantment of chocolate
  • "Melt in your mouth, not in your hand"--God/dess's love must be experienced directly to appreciate. Also, God/dess will take care of you.
  • Sweetness to remind us of how sweet the love of the God and Goddess is!

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