Kia's Colander of Special Events Presents:

January!

(picture courtesy of Kia's Artistic Skills)

January is National Color Heritage Month!!

White Heritage Week Begins!

Jan. 1
--International Hangover Day--
(from that wild party or your depression of another year wasted)

Jan. 2
--National Walk Your Dog without a Doggie Bag Day--
"Because, hey, Shit Happens"

Jan. 3
--National Refrigerator Magnet Awareness Day--
"Because Refrigerator Magnets have Feelings, Too"

Jan. 4
--National College Student Laundry Day--
(The 4th doesn't have a motto. It's not special enough.)

J**. 5
N******* Censorship D**
--(***** ***** ** ****** ***)--

Jan. 6 --Eat Yellow Snow Day--
(Hey! You want vitamins? We've got vitamins!)

Jan. 7
--International Smurf Day--
"When the Communist propaganda isn't enough..."

Blue Heritage Week Begins!

Jan. 8
--National Bring Your Father's Gun To School Day!--
"...A GLUE GUN! YAY! Staple staple staple..."

Jan. 9
--Good Tuesday--
"They're wrong! They're wrong! He died on a Tuesday!"

Jan. 10
--Curling Day--
"Another obscure Canadian holiday--like Boxing Day..."

Jan. 11
--National Assassinate Your Country's Leader Day--
"I want YOU to stop Global Warming!"

Jan. 12
--William W. Warner Day--
"'My friend, have you never seen...'"

Jan. 13
--International Self-Esteem Day--
"...because we all need to feel special."

Jan. 14
--Happy Easter!--

[see "Good Tuesday"]

Green Heritage Week Begins!

Jan. 15
--International Mad Cow Disease Day--
"...sure"

Jan. 16
--Keyboard Appreciation Day--
"ajiaw89p75nk"

Jan. 17
--International Beige Day--
"...because, because, because, because, because!"

Jan. 18
--Death Drug Day--
"...the first hit doesn't cost you anything..."

Jan 19
--Corporation Tuesday!--
"Stupid Bloody T-shirts"

Jan 20
--Prozac Day--
"God made us brothers, but Prozac made us friends"

Jan 21
--National Amalgram Day--
"I espised a diurly daiy"

Fluorescent Pink-Purple Heritage Week Begins!

Jan 22
--Quadrilateral Awareness Day--
"Any angle that turns you on"

Jan 23
--National Fez Fetish Day--
"...why not?"

Jan 24
--Nat. Abbr. D.--
"B.F.D."

Jan 25
--International Jesus Fish Day--
"Cheeses washed my sins away!"

Jan 26
--National Long, Unintelligible Word Day--
"It's copacetic!"

Jan 27
--Statement of Significance Day--
"This is significant because...uh..."

Jan 28
--National Stick-A-Smurf Day--
"You know how people preserve butterflies by pinning them down? Well, we're going to have fun today."

Jan 29
--Tissue Gathering Day--
"On this day, people from all over the country bring their gross used tissues to a certain place in North America, where they are burned in a huge mountain to the gods in hope that we won't get colds next year. This preferably will take place in the backyard of Mr. Robertson..."

Jan 30
--Fork-Bird Day--
"...because adaptive radiation is not on our side!"
Jan 31
--Sappy yet Ridiculous Metaphors Day--
"Chicken footprints in the snow...."

Esacpe Back to the Brink!