May
ILLEGAL SUBSTANCE APPRECIATION WEEK BEGINS!!!
May 7th
--Feel Good Hit of the Summer--
"C-c-c-c-c cocaiiiine! Hehe... gotta love those crazed, half-drugged punkers!"
May 8th
--Hallucinogens Appreciation Day--
"This Day Brought to You by Peyote Cactus Bob"
May 9th
--Marijuana Pronunciation Day--
"Mari-wana, not Mari-ju-wana! Fools!"
May 10th
--Bird Poop Day--
"According to a HIGHLY trusted source, it is illegal to smuggle bird poop onto the US mainland. However, I wouldn't like to smoke, sniff, inhale, ingest, or inject it, so I'm wondering about you guys...."
May 11th
--The Magic of Underage Drinking Day--
"Aw... what's a liver, give or take?"
May 12th
--Drugs Concealment Education Day--
"Look! BROWNIES!"
May 13th
--The Munchies Day--
"This serious ailment afflicts many of our close brethren, including (most importantly) smokers of pot. Although this terrible atrocity has kept Taco Bells across the nation in business for many years, it must be stopped."
END ILLEGAL SUBSTANCES APPRECIATION WEEK
May 14th
--Forecasts for the Colander Day--
"OK... who else thinks that as the days drag by, these days are going to be less and less creative? I predict that by June, you shouldn't even bother looking at them."
May 15th
--Bob Ezrin Appreciation Day--
"It just doesn't work!"
May 16th
--Rule 42.63 Day--
"If Germany suspends submarine warfare, the Allied player must again be informed (42.43). The Allied player is not required to inform the German player whether SAC factors are being deployed."
May 17th
--Slapton Sands Day--
"Enter Eisenhower"
May 18th
--McNamara Day--
"Chaos would ensue."
May 19th
--Armed Forces Day--
"...but nobody wanted to arm legs or toes... or the worms, oh noooo... Well screw them too! Them and their little dogs!"
May 20th
--Coffee Break--
"This day has no relevance. Kia just needed to 'get wired,' so we added it as a filler while she was gone."
May 21st
--Victoria Day (Canada)--
"Hehe... our friendly but backwards neighbors "
May 22nd
--Go to Jail Free Day--
"Now how cool is that? It doesn't cost you a thing!"
May 23rd
--Shove It Day--
"Damn straight. Now go to hell!"
May 24th
--Allergies Today!--
"I think my eyes are bleeding."
May 25th
--Duct Tape Appreciation Day--
"I don't know about you, but for me... every day is a day to appreciate the magical powers of Duct Tape! "
May 26th
--This is the Day!--
"Yes, it is!"
May 27th
--...Or Maybe Today Is!--
"Why do I suddenly feel so disillusioned by life?"
May 28th
--Memorial Day--
"You know folks, you really shouldn't just relieve yourselves on them."
May 29th
--Express Your Emotions Day--
"I am expressing my inner emotions of happiness, stability, and wanting to KICK YOUR ASS, YOU PUNK!"
May 30th
--The Day the World Ended--
"Er... well, it sort of skipped a track we guess..."
May 31st
--International Nap Day--
"mm.... sleepzzzzzzzzz"
For the love of God, Montresor, go Back to the Colander!
Or, better yet, Back to the Brink!