Wade Phillips comes up with a new offensive formation for the Pats game. He starts Rob Johnson at quarterback and puts Doug Flutie in the backfield as the second running back/ quarterback /receiver. The new formation completely baffles the Patriots for the first two offensive series as the Bills go down the field quickly with Slash/Flutie getting pitchouts and either running or passing. On third and ten from the Patriots 38, Johnson pitches out to Flutie and Doug passes right back to Rob. Flutie then takes off down the right sideline where Johnson hits him with a beautiful spiral. When Flutie catches it, he backtracks 6 yards as a cornerback tries to grab onto him, but then zig-zags and weaves his way through 4 more would-be tacklers to score his second straight touchdown (the first one he ran for 68 yards). After the score, Flutie jumps up on the goal post cross bar and pronounces to the players below him "I'm finally taller than all of you!"
WADE'S WITTICISMS:
Wade walks up to the podium after the game eating a bowl of spaghetti. When he reaches the microphone, he accidently drops the bowl right on Larry Felser's head.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Larry," Wade says with a smile on his face. "At least the strands of spaghetti go good with your wig!"
"Don't you start, you overweight redneck," Felser retorts back to Phillips.
"OK, enough of this idle chit-chat. The Bills lost another one because Robert Hicks failed to protect Doug Flutie. All Flutie's blocked passes were on account of Hicks. And the 5 interceptions were also Hicks' fault. If he had only blocked well enough, Doug would not have had to rush his passes. The 3 fumbles were also Hicks fault as he failed to prevent the Patriots from blitzing poor Doug. And when we failed to score the 4 times we reached the red zone, it was Hicks fault there too. I forget the reason why, but will tell you tomorrow after I examine the tapes of the game.
"Yes, if it weren't for Robert Hicks, we would have won this game. So all of you get off of Doug's case because he couldn't help what happened out there today."
With that, Wade bent down and picked a strand of spaghetti off Felser's head, put it in his mouth and sucked it in so that it vanished in an instant.
Felser was left gasping at the scene and could only mutter, "What the........?"
Copyright © 1999 Wild Bills' Prognostications, all rights reserved
