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Wild Bills Prognostications-WEEK4

BILLS 17

SQUID 20

PLAY OF THE GAME:

With only two minutes to go in the game and the score tied at 17, Dan Marino pitches out to Karim Abdul-Jabbar at the Dolphin 35. Jabbar runs to his right and throws a lateral back to Marino who launches a bomb to O.J. McDuffie at the Bills 20. McDuffie then gets by Henry Jones and only has Thomas Smith to beat to reach the endzone, but Smith trips him up at the 15 yard line. The Bills defense forces the Dolphins to attempt a field goal, and the resulting kick is good to win the game for the Fish.

WADE'S WITTICISMS:

Jimmy Johnson, standing up at the podium for the post game conference, brought in a big aqua-colored bag. He passed out both Flutie Flakes and Flutie Fruties to the media gathering.

"I want to share the sweet flavor of victory with all of you fine reporters tonight," Jimmy said with a gleam in his eyes. "I got in a little trouble last year with the Flutie Flakes, but tonight, who gives a crap!"

With that, Johnson puts a box of Flutie Flakes on the podium and smashes it open with his fist. Suddenly the conference room bursts into pandemonium. Boxes of Flutie Fakes are ripped open and the flakes are flying in the air like confetti. Flutie Fruites are whipped around the room in a similar fashion. The scene is reminiscent to a cafeteria food fight with Johnson leading the action as he leaps off the podium and into the arms of reporters like a punk rocker into a mosh pit.

Suddenly a loud voice erupts from the back of the room, "Stop all this malarkey right now!"

Everyone stops their frolicking and turn to see who's interrupting their party. It is none other than Wade Phillips himself, and he charges towards Jimmy Johnson like a linebacker trying to cut down a receiver dashing towards paydirt.

Wade says with a booming voice, "Stop this blasphemous behavior! How dare you mock out Doug Flutie and his worthwhile charities!"

"Don't give me that goodie-goodie crap," Johnson boomed back. "We mean no disrespect towards those good causes. Everything is directed at Flutie the quarterback. And didn't we stomp him into the ground just like we are doing to his Flakes right now?!!"

With that, Phillips rushes over to Johnson and puts a head lock on the Dolphin head coach, messing up his once-perfect hair. The two scuffle until Phillips is able to pull Jimmy down to the floor. There Wade pounces on the befuddled Jimmy and pins him down for the count of three! After that, Wade gets a box of Flutie Flakes and forces an entire box of the flakes down Johnson's throat.

"Let that be a lesson to you, Jimmy," Wade bellowed. "You may have won today's game, but I kicked your butt in our one-on-one matchup and will do so again if you act belligerent toward our team or one of our players again! And just remember, there's that rematch between our teams on November 14 in the snow! You better be ready to rumble then, you pompous ass!"

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