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Wild Bills Prognostications-WEEK5

BILLS 10
SEAHAWKS 24

PLAY OF THE GAME:

Ricky Watters dances through a huge hole and waltzes around two would-be Bills tacklers, prances around Henry Jones and gets into the clear on his way to a 72-yard touchdown. Watters has a spectacular game against the Bills, running for 214 yards and two touchdowns.

WADE'S WITTICISMS:

Wade stormed up to the podium with a chain saw. He pulled the starter chord and the 16 inch saw came to life and roared like a Harely-Davidison. Wade took the saw to the wooden podium and cut it in half. Then he turned off the chain saw and when all the smoke cleared he said in an angry voice: "I did this little demonstration to show you jerks in the media that I mean business! I will not have you morons criticizing my coaching methods. If you do, I will cut you up and off just like I did this podium here!

"Today I abandoned the run after we fell behind 3-0. You reporters are sure to berate me for running the ball only 3 times today, but I will have nothing to do with your asinine qualms. You do not know anything about football.. None of you realized all the intricacies and strategy that go into making a game plan. Because of that, you have no reason to complain.

"If I want Flutie to throw 60 times in a game, that's my prerogative. Flutie is going to throw the ball as many times as it takes to get the job done. Doug has also taken a lot of flak from you degenerates and is undeserving of any bad press he gets. If you want to come after anyone, attack me. I can take it and I can straighten it out in a jiffy, with my fists and my brawn. We don't need any of you bozos second guessing my coaching philosophy. If you have a complaint, take it up with me!"

With that Wade started the chain saw again and ripped a hole through the wall. He walked through the hole and was not seen again that day.

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