Wow! It's a challenge from the Rocket Gang Mailing List! Boy, if you're from this list...you've uhhh...seen this before. Sorry.

>Numero tres: Any fic you want. The catch? It must include the lines:

> "You are GRUESOME! AWFUL! DISGUSTING!" She howled.

> He grinned. "Love ya too."

Well...#3 is practically the last 3 sentences of Unaired Episode #1(well, the female line is more of a threat than an insult, the male line is spoken...so it just kind of felt familiar to me, okay?), so... 4 it is!

Hey, in some ways, I find Arbok and Weezing to be the most touching couple in my series...

>Numero cuatro: A fic that includes a crossbreed pokemon, a cross breed with >a Meowth and a Squrtle, to become... "The selfish shellfish pokemon!"

All pokemon stats taken from The Official Pokemon Handbook. This piece, unlike many others, requires actual knowledge of Zelda's literary workings. Basically, if "thundershock me sexy raichu" means anything to you, you're good to go!

Rating: Well, it's a Zelda story, so there's enough innuendo to choke an eevee. ::sigh::It's only a matter of time before even Togepi gets some lovin'...

It was another one of those lonely nights. Meowth felt especially bitter because although his teammates were a good two to three inches apart and sleeping, their pokemon were not. Arbok and Weezing had somehow managed to escape from their pokeballs again and would soon be up to no good. Since Arbok was 11'6" and Meowth was a bite sized 1'4", there was nothing the cat could do to stop them. That was why he was surprised when Arbok and Weezing slithered/hovered over to him. "Chaaarrrbok."("We're decided to do you a favor.")

Meowth looked at it suspiciously. Arbok's favors tended to be a tour of its digestive system or a great big pythonesque hug. "What is it?"

"Weezing."("We got you some booty.")

Apparently Arbok and Weezing had picked up a thing or two from their trainers..."I know dis trick!" snapped Meowth. "You just want me out of the way so you two can play horizontal Twister!"

Arbok rolled its eyes. "Aaarrrbok."("All Twister is horizontal.")

"Whatever. You're just doing this for your own gain!"

"Weezing."("Well, duh.")

Meowth sighed. "All right, I'll play along," he said.

Once the three pokemon had shut the door behind them, Jesse and James sat up. "I think they're gone," said James.

"I can't believe this worked," said Jesse.

"Don't tell me you're disappointed, my delicious flareon..."

"Shut up and show me your hydro pump."

"Ooo!"

Meanwhile, in that same clearing in the woods are friends and foes always seem to flock to..."Pikachu?" exclaimed Meowth.

"Pika-pi pikachu!" snapped Pikachu.("I'm only doing this to help a friend.")

"Oh," said Meowth, sounding a bit dismayed. From what he'd overheard, thundershock could be a very amazing attack.

"Squirtle?" said Squirtle, looking disgusted.

"You couldn't have at least gotten me a mammal?" snapped Meowth, glaring at Arbok and Weezing. The two poison pokemon managed a shrug, then headed off towards the all concealing bushes. "Lickitung would be better than dis.." Actually, Lickitung would probably have made for a very interesting evening...

"Squirtle squirt," said Squirtle.("Couldn't you at least have gotten me a persian?")

"Dat's it," screeched Meowth, fists clenching and anger veins popping. "I'm a better lay dan any persian! Now let's get it on! It's pay day, bitch!"

Much later(because none of us really wants to see Meowth/Squirtle hentai)Meowth returned home, hoping to get some sleep. He seemed to be the only one with that desire. "Perverts," he said.

Jesse and James took a "triumphant smirking" break. "Speak for yourself," said Jesse. "You were gone an awfully long time..."

"Did Squirtle show you his water gun?" asked James.

"No, because Squirtle doesn't have a water gun because unlike you James and I've got pictures to prove it, going to the highest bidder...which will be Jesse," said Meowth, tossing her several polaroids before her frying pan could come in contact with his skull. "As I was saying, unlike you James, I am exclusively heterosexual."

"Huh?" asked James.

"I remember this..." said Jesse. "HQ's rare candy eating contest..." She looked back at her partner. "You two looked really good together..." she added, putting her arms around him and going back to one of their previous activities.

"I'm sure something can be arranged," James said. Then he noticed who he looked good together with. "As long as he promises not to talk."

"That goes without saying."

Meowth shuddered. "I'm sleeping in the balloon basket tonight," he announced. The replies he got to this statement were "Mmm" and "Don't stop", neither of which seemed to be directed at him.